Adventures in Mommyland

Random Project

2012-02-01T10:37:00.001-07:00

I keep all my makeup in a basket. Everything just all lump together in a basket under the sink. Two days ago I decided I didn’t like it anymore.

I did a little googling to decide how I wanted it to be different. In the process I read these two blogs:

Brush Roll & Makeup Bag

And then I made these things with those designs in mind. Just to fit my own needs though. The make up bag has magnetic strips sewn inside instead of a button/loop enclosure. It was all surprisingly easy. Yay.

And from seeing the blog post about the brush rolls my husband now wants me to make some big ones out of denim for his wrenches… Don’t tell him I told you though, k? Thanks.

Do me a favor?

2012-01-26T12:36:00.001-07:00

If you know me, love me or if you know or love (or are even just acquaintances with!) that has a chronic physical condition/illness that they deal with every single day…

If you know anyone like that…

Read this. The Spoon Theory.

I’d repost the whole thing here but it requests at the bottom that I not repost it without permission so you have to follow the link.

Thanks

PS I just used up most of my spoons going to the grocery store. I think I’ll just sit here now. Whew!

Toddler Fingers

2012-01-22T12:59:00.001-07:00

I love them. I kissed those ones after she was asleep and then took a picture and left so she could nap without me kissing her fingers more…

Cooking Blog

2012-01-21T08:18:00.001-07:00

I emptied my old cooking blog – which has been unused for awhile anyway. http://cookinginwyoming.blogspot.com/ – Now it’s a place where I’ll be storing things I find or try or use – that are corn free, wheat free, peanut free ways to feed my family.

I can’t imagine it will ever be of a ton of use to anyone else but there it is. It will be helpful to me. haha.

insert catchy title that belies my true feelings of dismay

2012-01-21T08:15:00.001-07:00

I’ve whined on here about my health before. I just have something to add.

I have fibromyalgia.

I went to the doctor. He tested me for lots of things (that’s the blood tests I mentioned in Leah’s allergy post). I do not have lupus, or rheumatoid arthritis or any of the other things he tested for. Whew.

Fibromyalgia has no test. It’s a diagnosis of elimination.

My mother has it. I have it.

So I hurt a lot. Just about all the time. I have only so much energy to go around. So my girls have been getting it all. Some goes to cleaning my house if I have it left.

Some days I’m fine, some days I can’t do the simplest things – like shut my garage door. That was really annoying. There’s a lot of muscle weakness.

The are lots of other symptoms but we’ll just say it’s been impeding my daily life for awhile.

I’m just over here doing the best I can… but just about everything is going to the way side except caring for my children.

That’s all.

Leah’s Eyes

2012-01-18T15:17:00.001-07:00

Leah on wheat…

Leah off wheat…

I really can’t believe how swollen her eyes used to be. Holy. Moley.

And yes. The 2nd picture is with my phone. The first one with my camera. If I wasn’t lazy, I’d go charge the camera battery and do a better comparison. But you get the idea, eh?

Simple Woman

2012-01-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

Find it here.

FOR TODAY

Outside my window... It's dark and windy and cold. We've had a high wind warning all day.

I am thinking... about my doctor's appt in the morning.

I am thankful... for the joy of motherhood. The women who made that possible in my life. For the feel of my children laying on me.

From the learning rooms... Leah and I got her through a lot of homework today. She was out of school all last week and there's a good size stack. Almost done!

In the kitchen... I've been wheat free cooking. (And it's a freaking disaster in there.)

I am wearing... pjs.

I am creating... a messy house? happy children?

I am going... to make a steamed milk, relax for a bit, and go to bed.

I am wondering... what is going to happen next.

I am reading... I just finished Alcatraz versus The Evil Librarians by Brandson Sanderson. I haven't decided what to read next yet.

I am hoping... to get some answers, pretty please.

I am looking forward to... sleeping good tonight (that's me thinking positive thoughts. PLEASE let me get some good sleep!)

I am learning... that I can't do everything my brain wants me to do.

I am hearing... Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

Around the house... Oh the mess. I don't want to talk about it okay? When I'm sick things... fall apart.

I am pondering... finding a different normal within my physical limits. I need a house elf. Anybody?

A favorite quote for today... “Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.” -Mary Anne Radmacher

One of my favorite things... Steamed Milk. mmmm. (I'm having that right now)

A few plans for the rest of the week... To the doctor tomorrow, clean the house, wheat free cooking, and trying to keep my head above water! Woohoo.

A peek into my day...

Leah's been "creating" things for days. There is a giant mess in the dining room from it. Jewelry, arts/crafts, anything she can think of. This was a puppet from today (There's a tongue under the flap. A little red one. She's so cute!). She used this and a couple stick puppets she made to perform Little Red Riding Hood for me. She even made a back drop with a big piece of construction paper. She cut pictures of furniture out of a newspaper ad and glued it all over it. She amazes me.

Leah’s Allergies

2012-01-13T15:54:00.001-07:00

I feel like I just typed a post just like this.

Oh wait… I did: Hannah’s Allergies

At Hannah’s appointment when he was asking me allergy questions about her I kept thinking – that sounds a lot more like Leah than it does Hannah…

When Leah was about 11 months old she had her first allergy attack. Her eyes would not stop running for a day or so. Just constantly streaming. That was the first time I gave her Benadryl (which is only recommended for 1 year and up. I went online I researched and found a “by weight” chart for dosages). It instantly dried up her eyes but holy moly. She went BIZERK. She was very literally bouncing off the walls. As in she was running AT the walls and bouncing off of them.

Leah was allergic to red dye.

Thank heaven they make dye free Benadryl. That always worked.

In later years as Leah would have accidental exposure to red dye (it’s freaking everywhere). She would have night terrors that night. It was hideous.

Most children out grow dye allergies and Leah can now have all the red dye she wants with no reaction. Whew.

However.

She was still congested a lot. Still sick a lot. Still with the runny eyes. I tried Claritin for children – no luck. I tried Zyrtec – yay! That worked. In the winter… In the summer it just takes the edge off. She would be fine and then go outside to play, then come in and her eyes would be all swollen.

Oy.

So, I took Leah to get tested. I answered a lot, lot, lot of questions.

And then the took us to another room with a bed for her to lay on her tummy. She had been so brave up to this point and finally the fearful anticipation got the better of her and she wrapped herself around me and just cried. I finally coaxed her onto her stomach and we started the test. She realized quickly the poking was not a big deal but as you’ll see with the pictures she started to itch and be uncomfortable right away.

She cried. I was sitting by her head and we were forehead to forehead, nose to nose and she had her arms wrapped around my neck. We just stayed like that until the poking was over and she could relax a little bit. She was still uncomfortable but not anticipating the poking anymore. (62 pokes in all. Poor baby.)

ONE minute in (this stuff is supposed to stay on for 15 minutes. The nurse stood back and said: oh man.)…

3 minutes:

5 minutes:

10 minutes:

At the 10 minute mark the nurse had, had enough. She started wiping each and writing down the results. She didn’t want Leah to have to wait 5 more minutes.

All wiped off and waiting for some cream:

At this point the nurse left to go talk to the doctor again. He wanted her to have 6 more tests. Each of which involved a shot into her arm to put a little of the allergen under her skin and see how she reacted.

This… was not fun. The also wanted to draw blood. I looked at the nurse kind of horrified and she said – we can put that one off. You can refuse to do it this time.

Excellent because Leah was going through quite enough for one day!

A minute or two after the shots:

10ish minutes after:

That’s cat, dog, mold, a couple of tree ones and the bottom right is grasses. She is wicked allergic to everything (except the mold. That’s not so bad. Seriously? So what! She’s gonna rub her face in mold? LOL!) but the grasses was the worst reaction of them all. That one kept swelling through the day. I gave her some Benadryl before we started the 120 mile drive home and it stopped swelling but it’s still swollen some today.

So. She’s allergic to most kinds of trees, grasses, weeds, pollens, cats, dogs. She also has a mild allergy to wheat (no that is not celiac or gluten intolerance. Wheat allergy is a histamine response to wheat. Celiac is a gut issue.)

And she has a mild allergy to peanuts. Oh and house dust/dust mites. Both more mild than Hannah’s but still there.

The peanut thing is relatively “easy” since we’ve already prepared for that for Hannah. Hannah can’t have things that say “processed in the same facility or same equipment” but Leah can. She just is not going to have straight peanuts, peanut butter, etc.

The wheat is another issue – it’s mild and she’s not going to have an anaphylactic reaction ever but I want to get her where she feels really great and then introduce things and see where her threshold is, etc.

So for now we go wheat free.

Clearly I can not do everything for all of us. We can’t all be corn free, peanut free, wheat free, diabetic friendly eaters. There will have to be some double prep going on some things but I’ll do as much common food as I can. Wheat free (and/or gluten free) foods are much more expensive so I don’t want to feed all 4 of us wheat free all the time.

I will, however, do everything in my power to make sure my 6 year old foodie in the making still enjoys her food. She has some wheat free toaster waffles today and we both decided they taste better than the ones she normally eats. So that was a happy find for her! (If only they weren’t 4 bucks for a box of 6… I’m going to make some from other flours and freeze them because GEEZ. She eats 3 in a sitting.)

Congrats to you if you made it to the bottom of this post. Sorry about my long windedness. It helps me process all this to write it down.

I was feeling very crazy and helpless until I went to the store. I know about allergy shopping from myself. I can do this for her. I have the cooking know-how so I’m not freaking about that. I just need the supplies and some time and I can make it all fantastic for her.

We’re gonna make pizza tonight or tomorrow with some wheat free dough! She’s really excited about that.

Whew!

I should write another blog post about my own health but I’m waiting for some test results. It can wait. And frankly, my brain can only take so much!

Huh?

2012-01-12T23:01:00.001-07:00

I was trying to wake Drew up to ask him something...
Me: Drew, drew...
Drew: You can't have it.
Me: Have what?
He grabs me. Hugs me. Starts rubbing my back and whispers: It's mine. You can't have it.
I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.
He's still muttering in his sleep now...
...
I don't care. I don't care.
Don't touch my car!
I'll pop you.
Don't touch it. Don't do it.
How did that feel?
I'm bigger than you are (totally in a taunting voice)
Your nose is next.
Oh boy. You just don't learn.
Did you like that? I just hit you again.
Stop crying. Stop. Hmmm hm. Tell your friends. I told you I'd hit you.
Tell 'em. Tell all your friends.
You're a sissy... (again with the taunting)
You don't want to do that.
I hope that heals funny.
Stupid. So stupid.
No no no.
Oh? You wanna race me?
(yes. I'm typing as he talks.)
*laughter*
My sister could kick your butt.
No. I wanna race now. Race me.
Don't touch my car!
I've hit you twice now.
Hm. Hmmm.
That's MY wife.
I'll kill you.
Shhhh. Go.
You shouldn't have said that. You're gonna die. You're gonna die.
You're gonna throw up. Then die.
....
Wowzer. I think he's asleep for real now.
....
Later:
Don't put the bacon there. That's nasty.
Don't eat that. Ugh.
Doh. Ohhhh Yummy Yummy!
No! No no no.
Tattle tail. Tattle tail. Tattle tail.
You bad bad bad. No no no.
....
Snoring. Whew.

Bunny Cuteness

2012-01-08T16:01:00.001-07:00

http://chezbeeperbebe.blogspot.com/2010/03/tutorial-and-pattern-recycled-mooshy.html

I read the idea for making these bunnies at the above link. I decided to use some shirts that Leah & I had tie dyed a couple of years ago. And this is the cute result…

PS I’ve never made any kind of stuffed animal before. This was a trial run for me. lol

At least the girls love them!

If you read the tutorial they came from you’ll see I did the tail differently. I cut a circle of fabric, did a really loose stitch around the outside of the circle and gathered it in. Then I stuffed it, hand sewed it closed and stitched it onto the body. Since it was fairly lose I also decided to hot glue them closer to the body. I didn’t want the girls (or Hannah really… lol) to rip the tail off.

And for the 2nd one I pinned the ears inside the body so that I didn’t have to sew them to the outside… because I happen to kind of hate hand sewing. It turned out cute still. I think I might pinch them at the bottom of the ear and put a stitch in each to make them more folded like the first bunny but eh. Maybe if I make more.

My hope is to find a few patterns and make Hannah a few stuffed animals specifically. Her dust allergy means she shouldn’t have a lot of fuzzy things sleeping in her bed with her. It seems like it would be better if they were cloth and things I can throw in the washer.

The girls have been carrying these around and sleeping with them. That gives me warm fuzzies!

And pardon the crappy pictures from my phone… I’m lazy.

Sleeping Arrangements

2011-12-23T09:56:00.001-07:00

At Nana's house we have three beds in one room.

Hannah's bed...

Leah's bed...

My bed...

How 'bout that, eh?

Hannah and her Allergies

2011-12-13T12:54:00.001-07:00

When Hannah was about 9 months old. Maybe 10. She ate a hunk of frozen peach in one of those little mesh things. And got a hideous rash around her face and all inside her mouth.

No more peaches for Hannah.

When Hannah eats anything with jelly on it she gets a redness anywhere it touches around the outside of her mouth.

No more jelly/jam for Hannah.

A few weeks ago Hannah grabs my spoonful of peanut butter while I was answering the door. All around her mouth and everywhere she drooled (she had on no shirt) there was a red rash. Lines all down her tummy. Within probably an hour of that we had an appt at an allergist for Dec 12th. (Yesterday)

So yesterday, Drew, Hannah & I headed off to Casper. (There is – of course – no allergist in Rawlins. Imagine that.)

At the appointment we went over everything that happened before and they did a standard scratch test on her back with the addition of peaches and watermelon.

The results are that she is allergic to peanuts.

And dust. Yes – dust.

And cats. That’s right. We have two cats. We won’t within the next 48 hours or so. Maybe today.

If you know me at all, you know – I love my cats. I’ve been crying on and off about it today but there really is no choice to be made to me. I love my cats but not enough. Hannah’s comfort and health obviously come first.

If she didn’t touch and love the cats so much that would help. But it’s just not the case. Hannah LOVES the cats and (unfortunately) they actually love her back. They like to lay on her, rub on her, snuggle with her. She likes to rub her face in them. That kind of thing.

Probably 2 days ago I said to my mom – Something is not right with Hannah. It’s been 2ish weeks and something is just off. I’m not sure what to do. In the end I decided that we’d go to the allergy appt and then go to the regular doc this week to find out what’s up if the allergies weren’t the problem.

But guess what I realized on the way home yesterday? That’s exactly how long we’ve had the new kitten. Hannah picks that kitten up about 100 times a day and carries her around the house. Rubbing her face in the kitten heaven only knows how many times. So OF COURSE it got worse since the kitten came.

Sigh.

As far as the severity of her allergies goes, it’s not life threatening – the peanuts because she has no breathing issues at this point. But with each exposure to peanuts it will get worse. He said we don’t need an epi-pen now but that we’ll need to talk about that when she goes to preschool/school. (because that’s obviously the place where she’s gonna get accidental exposures)

The dust. I don’t even know where to go with that. We live in WYOMING. Oh my word. Of course dust is just everywhere. There is no escaping it. He did tell me when I do things like vacuum she needs to not come back in the room for at least 45 minutes to let everything settle.

I need a new vacuum cleaner designed with Hepa filters. It would be better if we didn’t have carpet. (Easier said than done.)

I think that is all. Oy.

Drew took this picture about 5 minutes into the 15 minute waiting period. You can’t see the cat one very well because of the lighting but it got just as bad as the dust one. And they all got worse than what you see here in this picture.

The peaches one was just the slightest pink dot. With most of them you can see they didn’t react. There were 23 spots in all.

ETA: He thinks she’s growing out of the peaches thing. He said to try them again later.

Tidbits

2011-12-12T06:33:00.001-07:00

*These are all thoughts I had or things that happened between 5 am and 6 am in my bed this morning*

***

When Hannah tells you she wants to snuggle in bed – she means lay next to her. Not touching. I can rub her hair, sometimes hold her hand.

When Leah says she wants to snuggle in bed – she means fully body contact. Encircled in arms.

***

Leah: All four of us are in this bed and I don’t even feel squished!

(I certainly did.)

***

Hannah might ask for a duck to hold at 5 am. And she’ll mean the hard rubber ducks from her bath toys. Of course.

***

When you ask Hannah what an animal says – do not be fooled. She knows them all but she thinks it’s HYSTERICAL to say “meow” to every animal. Probably because it makes me laugh every time. She just gets this mischievous look on her face and I can’t help it.

****

Hannah: one two thee four five!

Drew: WHAT did she just say!?!?

Me: She counted to 5. You know. Like every one year old does. One two three four five.

Hannah: six!

Me: That’s a new one. Seven!

Hannah: eight!

Me: Nine!

Hannah: Ten!

Me: Well okay. She counts to 10 like every one year old does…

***

Some things about this age are exhausting but really – life is so simple. They’re needs are pretty simple. They may not wake me up at 5 am to play with ducks in my bed later, but the worries are gonna get more intense. Today I will enjoy their simple needs.

Productive Napping by Hannah

2011-12-10T19:50:00.001-07:00

Hannah was supposed to be napping. It was quiet for awhile and then I heard her playing but she wasn’t calling for me so I was just enjoying the quiet. After awhile I say to Drew, “Go tell her she can get up. I don’t think she napped but oh well.” And a few minutes later I hear Drew exclaiming, “HOLY CRAP!” So I come running and this is the sight that greets me:

I said, “Hannah! That was so naughty!” And she started to cry and got in the rocking chair in her room (at least she didn’t color that!):

When I undressed her for a bath, I found this:

She clearly stuck that marker right in her belly button. What goes on in her head??? LOL!

So that’s a blue permanent marker. A little keychain one. I had it in my pocket. (I was crafting and using it to mark some things.) I think it must have fallen out. Well… CLEARLY, it fell out.

The walls and the bed and the floor are all cleaned up. Rubbing alcohol wiped it all right off. No big deal.

Her skin, however… it will fade eventually but the last incident just faded. And I need to take Christmas pictures. There is some on her neck and under her chin. Someday she’ll not have permanent marker right?

The sheets and the pillowcase, and that shirt went into the garbage. It’s a shame because she loves that shirt. She rubs it and says “Blankie shirt!” because it feels just like her blanket. Sad.

Oh and just so you know. I only have 4 permanent markers. She’s gotten in 3 of the 4 in the last 4 months. Watch for the orange one to make an appearance soon… *smacks head on desk*

Humankind

2011-12-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

We must remember that those mortals we meet in parking lots, offices, elevators, and elsewhere are that portion of mankind God has given us to love and to serve. It will do us little good to speak of the general brotherhood of mankind if we cannot regard those . . . around us as our brothers and sisters.
~ Spencer W. Kimball

Happy Sigh

2011-12-06T07:31:00.001-07:00

Snuggling with Daddy before school

CHEESE!

2011-12-05T21:12:00.001-07:00

Hannah has clearly gotten the idea behind saying cheese. She even points at the camera and asks me to take pictures. Her face looks pretty much like this in every picture lately (except the grouchy ones. hehe.)

It used to look like this when she said cheese. She’s much more into it now, eh?

PS I swear I do her hair. I can’t do anything about her walking around with a blanket on her head half the time though. So. Stinking. Cute.

Favorite Christmas Music

2011-11-30T21:56:00.001-07:00

Earlier today I was listening to Christmas music and decided I needed some new material but it’s overwhelming to choose. There’s just so MUCH. So I did this on FB:

And from Camela:

Camela: i don't know that i have one
Camela: i have songs
Camela: not albums
Camela: 2
Camela: my 2 favorites are
Camela: little big town's version of go tell it on the mountain and
Camille: christmas shoes?
Camille:
Camela: yes
Camela: bite me
Camille: lolololol
Camela: andreas bocelli and mary j blige's version of what child is this
Camela: totally magnificant

She’s mean to me. Did you see that!?!?
That’s all. I just thought I’d share my findings. I’m going back to downloading music now!

A Thousand Words

2011-11-29T13:02:00.001-07:00

This is just the kind of day Hannah and I are having…

She’s seriously ticked off at me for taking her picture. I bet she’ll love these even more when she’s 14.

It’s 10 minutes later. I’ve come back to add one more picture.

Oh Hannah. Sigh.

Ya. That’s permanent marker.

Begin applause...

2011-11-28T23:44:00.001-07:00

I am done Christmas shopping.

That is all.

End applause.

Yay Me!

Simple Woman

2011-11-27T22:56:00.001-07:00

Find it here.

FOR TODAY

Outside my window... It's dark and windy and cold. (That sounds forlorn but really in here it's Christmas-y and there is a fire roaring the fireplace. It's rather lovely.)

I am thinking... about finishing my Christmas shopping tomorrow. I have everything left I need to get in carts online but I was waiting for "Cyber Monday" so I don't miss out on any deals.

I am thankful... for this guy - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcNJqr84Lnw&feature=fvwp&NR=1 - today. I really wanted some egg drop soup and a quick YouTube video and I was good to go. It was yummy even. I added some green onions and a little more soy sauce after.

From the learning rooms... not much really. Although today Drew was reading a book to Hannah that shows how a duck comes from an egg and she was literally staring with her mouth hanging open. She was flat amazed and I thought - huh. Time to start doing the school stuff with her, I guess. She was 20 months yesterday.

In the kitchen...it's a little messy. It was a lovely Sunday (minus being sick still - but much better!) but we didn't do much by way of chores. We did decorate the house though!

I am wearing... pjs.

I am creating... a lot of presents for Christmas. This to-do list WILL get done though!

I am going... finish this post and go curl up on the couch, in front of the fire, and watch TV with Drew.

I am wondering... if the above answer is the right choice. Perhaps I should go to bed?

I am reading... I just finished War Breaker by Brandson Sanderson. I really love him. I have another of his on deck. I can't think of the name. It's part of another series of his.

I am hoping... to grocery shop tomorrow but it sounds kind of unpleasant with my stomach still churning at random food thoughts.

I am looking forward to... Christmas! (and my birthday - that's first!)

I am hearing... the TV (Burn Notice)

Around the house... I love Christmas! It's fun to have all these things up.

I am pondering... what lessons I can do this year to remind Leah the true point of Christmas. We haven't had had enough time at church these days and I'm worried. I need to be healthy. It's not fair for her learning to suffer! Ugh.

One of my favorite things... the sound of a child Hannah's age laughing - it's such a pure sound. No guile. No pretending. If she's laughing - something is funny.

A few plans for the rest of the week... Lots of Christmas present making

Here is a picture thought I am sharing...

Our Pets & A New Addition

2011-11-26T22:52:00.001-07:00

I think I haven’t updated this blog as our pets have done a shift over the last year. We had two dogs and two cats. The two dogs returned to their former owner when he unexpectedly came back to town. He wanted them back so very badly and they were just so happy to see him. It was hard to not let that happen.

Shortly after that so acquired Chloe. I posted about her previously. So we had Benny, Joon, and Chloe. All was well. I seriously love cats.

Then we moved. We left the cats at the old house for one night. They’ve previously been at home alone for a lot more than one night. No big deal. But the next morning – no Chloe. We checked a lot, we hung posters, called the shelter several times. We never saw her again. It was so sad.

Benny & Joon. Just as a refresher – they were feral (wild) kittens when we got them from the shelter. So as domesticated as they were with our family, they’ve only ever lived in a single home and moving was a new experience for them. So we get them over here… We kept them inside for about a week. Finally Benny was begging so much that I let them both out. Joon came back that evening – Benny did not. We went to the old house a couple days later to do something and… There he was. Benny had gone home. It’s 2 miles. We caught him again. He was less than pleased.

We waited about 10 days and then he got out on accident. Again he went “home”.

Take 3. Bring Benny home (this is getting old). The next time he got out – we never saw him again. Benny was certainly not meant to be an indoor cat but dang. I never expected that he would go through all that. I assume something happened to him on his last trip back. You have to cross the highway twice in that 2 miles plus various other roads.

Sigh. So we were down to one cat.

Oh! And a turtle. Alice the Turtle. That’s something Leah and Drew acquired from a neighbor. It was set up all wrong and I had to fix the situation but now Leah has a very happy Alice hanging out in her room.

Anyway!

We got a new kitten. My friend Karianne’s SIL had some kittens she was finding homes for and Karianne was going near her for Thanksgiving. I babysat her dog and when she got home she traded me for a kitten! Yay!

This is Kali:

Amazingly she looks A LOT like Joon. Very similar white markings, etc. Kali is more fluffy though. She’s pretty adorable, eh?

And Alice:

She actually now has a red light over the rock and the white light is over the right side and only on during the day. I have never wanted a turtle but she’s pretty funny. If you walk in on her when she’s basking on that rock she dives in the water with such a ruckus you’d think you walked in on a naked woman. And she likes to bang against the side to try to get you to feed her. Again. Apparently red ear sliders have no appetite control. Or so I read. So they will beg constantly. It’s pretty funny.

Sweet Potatoes, Sweet Potatoes

2011-11-25T20:50:00.001-07:00

If you’d asked me a few years ago how I felt about sweet potatoes, I would have said what I’ve been saying most of my life: Ew.

The whole candied yam thing? Ack. Nasty.

But 2 years ago? Maybe 3. I was talking to Camela and (as we constantly discuss the most random of things) we started to talk about sweet potatoes. Apparently my not liking them was upsetting to her.

So she sends me a box in the mail and this recipe is in it…

Lara’s Sweet Potatoes
Serves 8-10

3 cups cooked & mashed sweet potatoes*
2/3 cup white sugar (that’s too much)**
1/4 cup butter, softened
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup milk
2 eggs, beaten

Topping

1 cup packed brown sugar (way too much)***
1 cup chopped pecans
1/2 cup flour
1/3 cup butter, softened

Mix together sweet potato, sugar, butter, vanilla, milk, and eggs. In a separate bowl mix together the topping ingredients. Pour the sweet potato mixture into a 9x13****, crumble topping on top. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes.

**************

Anyway! What else is in the box? Sweet potatoes, brown sugar, white sugar, pecans, etc. I had to buy eggs. geez! Okay, maybe I already had those in the fridge… The woman shipped me sweet potatoes from Maryland! Crazy.

She decided if she sent it all in the mail I would feel obligated to make this recipe and give the sweet potatoes a chance.

And guess what? I LOVED it. And I mean LOVED. And now I eat sweet potatoes in all kinds of ways. Sweet potato fries are the best! But still no candied yams. (yuck!) The first year I made them at Thanksgiving Drew said (and I quote): FORGET the candied yams. Always make these! That man has always loved candied yams so I make them every year for him but no more! Yay! My dad too actually. He told me to bring those to every holiday dinner.

So there you have it. Just one of the many ways Camela has changed my life for the better! Between sweet potatoes and football – I think I might be indebted for life.

The asterisks…

*I HIGHLY recommend you just baked these and then mash/stir. When you bake sweet potatoes the skin just pops right off. A couple hours and you don’t even have to mash them. Just stir. Chopping and boiling is entirely too much work

**The parenthesis are her notes. I do 1/2 cup of sugar because she said that.

***I disagree. I love that topping. I always do the whole cup.

****Sometimes I do it in an 8x8 and then the mixture and the topping are thicker. Yummy also.

Oh and that serves 8-10 bit? Maybe. If Drew isn’t there….

Thankful

2011-11-24T19:57:00.001-07:00

"A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue,but the parent of all the other virtues." [Cicero]

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." [William Arthur Ward]

Two quotes I like. Sorry for the lame post. I'm wicked sick.

***

Today I am most grateful for my Leah. She has been amazing to me today!

Walk Tall

2011-11-23T22:04:00.001-07:00

Write about a piece of music that changed your life forever. What do you feel when you hear it now?

When I got baptized at 8 years old my mother had someone (I don’t remember who) sing this song at my baptism. I heard it countless times in other circumstances but in a lot ways hearing it in that moment – it defined me. Who I am inside and my character.

I’ve sung it to both my girls many times. I hope it does that for them someday too.

Walk Tall, You're a Daughter of God

Right now I have a prayer deep within my heart
A prayer for each of you there is a special part
That you remember who you are and Him who lives above
Please seek for Him and live His way you'll feel His love.

(Chorus)
Walk tall you're a daughter a child of God
Be strong please remember who you are
Try to understand you're part of His great plan
He's closer than you know
Reach up He'll take your hand.

Long before the time you can remember
Our Father held you in His arms so tender
Those loving arms released you as He sent you down to earth
He said my child I love you don't forget your great worth.

(Chorus)
Walk tall you're a daughter a child of God
Be strong please remember who you are
Try to understand you're part of His great plan
He's closer than you know
Reach up He'll take your hand.

This life on earth we knew would not be easy
At times we loose are way His path we may not see
But please remember always please that you are not alone
He'll take your hand He loves you He will guide you home.

(Chorus)
Walk tall you're a daughter a child of God
Be strong please remember who you are
Try to understand you're part of His great plan
He's closer than you know
Reach up He'll take your hand.

Bacon

2011-11-22T19:28:00.001-07:00

Today I was informed that if I haven't blogged about bacon I might not be a true bacon fan. I found this appalling.

I feel like this will repair the situation. The bacon part starts about two minutes in. I think I saw this routine for the first time a couple of years ago. Still in this house one of us will say at random: Bippity Boppity Bacon!

Jim Gaffigan - Bacon - Free videos are just a click away

Twilight Anniversary

2011-11-21T21:19:00.001-07:00

The first twilight movie came out on Nov 21st which just happens to be my anniversary. That year I told my husband that all I wanted for a present was for him to go to that movie with me. And for each successive year I've requested the same thing. The only qualification was that he had to smile and pretend he liked it - even if he didn't. haha.

However, this is his review as we walked out of Breaking Dawn, Part 1 tonight:

That's it. They've got me.
We have these books, right?

If you know anything about Drew, you know - this is seriously high praise. He proceeded to discuss his plan for when he would have time to read and that he had a whole year before the next one came out. He's all excited.

I loved it too. The most of the 4 so far. It was fantastic.

My Anniversary...

Years ago I gave Drew a thin book of a few Rumi (Birth 1207- Death 1273) poems. And this particular poem has been rolling around in my head today. It's a good one I think.

Sweetheart you have aroused my passion
your touch has filled me with desire
I am no longer separate from you
These are precious moments
I beseech you, Don't let me wait
Let me merge with you.
~Rumi

This one too:

Dear God,
Let all Lovers be content
Give them happy endings
Let their lives be celebration
Let their hearts dance in the fire of your Love.
Rumi

Sunday Stealing

2011-11-20T15:30:00.001-07:00

I stole this meme from a blog. The entire premise is to steal memes/prompts/ideas from other blogs. That's so fantastic. The tag they signed off with was:

"Cheers to us thieves!"

I really just feel like I MUST support this with at least one post.

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work? Yes. Many, many times.

What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated? A year or two? Sorry. Nothing dramatic to discover there.

Ever been in a car wreck? Yes

Have you ever been on a blind date? Nope

Are looks important? To a certain extent, I think so. But only because it’s the first judgement people make of you. And it just depends on the situation. Are they important in that they’re a definition of our character? No. Is it important to be clean and not walk about smelling like you rolled in horse crap? Yes. Probably so. Does that give you an idea where that ranks in importance to me?

Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more? Yes. Quite a few

By what age would you like to be married? I am married. So….

Have you ever made a mistake? I’d so love to say NO! to that question. I’m pretty fantastic but indeed. I have made a mistake or two.

Are you a good tipper? Yes. As long as you’re a good waiter/waitress.

What’s the most you have spent for a haircut? About 100 bucks. I was in NYC. It was so fun.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? No

Have you ever peed in public? YES. Ugh. Once Drew and I were trapped on the interstate because there was a bomb scare. We were about a mile from an exit. We had been planning to pull off there so I could use the bathroom. But NO…. Fast forward almost 3 hours and finally I was near tears. Drew got a big quilt from the trunk. We went to the side of the road (there were cars for miles of course) and he held the quilt up in a circle – like a stall – so no one could see me. I had a pile of taco bell napkins. That was about 10 years ago. We still laugh about it. Heaven bless my husband for finding me a way to pee! (PS We were on the interstate for an hour after that.)

What song do you want played at your funeral? Wow. I have no idea. I’ll have to think about that. Maybe the hymn "Nearer My God To Thee". Really I want the people who are still living to use whatever comforts them.

Would you tell your parents if you were gay? Yes

What would your last meal be before getting executed? Seafood feast. Crab – snow, dungeness, blue, king. Shrimp. Lobster. And sushi. Lots of it. I think you already know these things about me though.

Beatles or Stones? Beatles

If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be? Sweet glory. Let me never have that kind of responsibility. Perhaps I’d pluck a child molester from the earth.

Beer, wine or hard liquor? None of the above. (or to the left as the case actually is)

Do you have any phobias? No serious ones. I do not like spiders but if it comes between freaking or keeping a spider from my child – first I will kill the spider, then I will freak. And I really, really don't like needles. A lot. I get kind of pale/odd-looking before blood draws.

Do you ever walk around the house naked? Yup

If you were an animal what would you be? Why? Hmm. I usually say Panda Bear to this question. However, I have NO idea why. They just seem so soft and cuddly.

If suffering an injury, would you rather be left blind or deaf? Wowzer. I think deaf.

Do you have any special talents? Duh. Of course I do.

What do you do as soon as you walk in the house? Go to my computer, I think. Depends on if the girls are with me and what time of day it is. I don't really have a routine.

Do you like horror or comedy? Comedy.

Are you missing anyone? Yes. Very much.

Where do you want to live when you are old? Near my children and my (hopefully) many grandchildren.

Who is the person you can count on the most? Me.

What did you dream last night? I don’t remember any dreams from last night.

What is your favorite sport to watch? Football

Are you named after anyone? Yes. Two Aunts.

What is your favorite alcoholic drink? I don’t drink alcohol.

Non alcoholic drink? Virgin Margarita, salted rim and Strawberry Daiquiris

Have you ever been in love? Yes

Do you sing in the shower? Loudly.

What is your favorite Holiday? Christmas
Would you ever get plastic surgery? Yes and I have. Something had to be done about the giant boobs I used to have. Is that an over share?
Have you ever caught a fish? Of course!

When was the last time you felt like crying? Yesterday when I woke up from my nap and realized Drew had left for work while I was sleeping. I remember him kissing my neck and my cheek and saying goodbye but only in a sort of dream-like way. I wish I had woken up all the way.
Can you cook? Yes, yes I can.

Breakfast (… and 2nd Breakfast)

2011-11-19T09:16:00.001-07:00

I guess you could call 1st Breakfast the Breakfast Appetizer but really if you’re a hobbit deep inside (who longs for adventure) the proper names are 1st and 2nd breakfast.

1st Breakfast

Donut Muffins
Dry Ingredients. Whisk together.

2 cups flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp nutmeg

Wet Ingredients. Beat together.

2 eggs
1 cup yogurt (I used strawberry-honey greek gods. yum.)
2/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp vanilla

Combine the two bowls. Mixing just enough. If you mix too much you’ll have tough muffins. The more you mix – the tougher the muffin.
Bake for 14-15 minutes at 400 degrees in greased muffin cups. (do the toothpick test to make sure they are done)
Melt half a stick of butter or so in one bowl.
In another bowl mix:

1/2 cup sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg

When the muffins come out. One by one dip the muffin tops in the melted butter and then roll the tops around in the sugar mixture. Set them on a wire rack to cool.
It’s like a donut muffin and just kind of melts in your mouth. Yum.

2nd Breakfast

Sweet Potato Hash

2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and diced
1 cup sweet onion, diced
salt and pepper, to taste
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp red pepper
pinch of crushed red pepper flakes

I sautéed that in a skillet until it was all done the potatoes where soft pieces and the onions soft and browned some. Then I moved the whole lot to a cookie sheet and set it in the 400 degree oven to keep roasting while I fried some eggs.
Oh I also took some of that really that “microwavable” bacon and laid it across the top of the sweet potato hash in the oven. It cooked like that. It’s the best way. Trust me.

PS That’s the egg no one ate. The others all had the appropriately runny yoke. Promise.

Benevolence

2011-11-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

Isn’t he charming?

Thankful Thursday

2011-11-17T20:41:00.001-07:00

My thoughts are centered around three things right now.

Dishwasher
Washer
Dryer

I sit here at my computer. The dishwasher is washing my dishes. The washer is washing my clothes. The dryer is drying them.

I can be productive even if I'm asleep. What technology is there to love more than that?

Although I do love my phone... If it folded my laundry I'd love it more. There happens to be a big pile of clean laundry on my bed that is definitely not folding itself.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-16T20:52:00.001-07:00

3 Months 2010…

3 Months 2006…

The Hideous Trip

2011-11-15T19:57:00.001-07:00

We left Castle Rock, Colorado around noon. This trip - with smooth sailing and minimal stops from the short people in the back - takes about 4.5 hours. We stopped in Aurora to see Hannah's bmom, Amanda. We were gonna hang out but she was feeling crappy to say the least so we took her and Hannah's bdad some lunch and headed home.

As soon as we left her house and got back on the interstate we hit construction. Awesome. That lasted well over an hour just to go about 10 miles.

We had a normal drive to Cheyenne - albeit very windy around Cheyenne. We stopped to see Drew's mom, sister, and nieces. We visited for awhile, checked the road report and realized we need to get going. This was probably around 6? I forget. By the time we got to Laramie (45 miles from Cheyenne), the roads from Laramie to home were closed. Great. Drew has several brothers who live in Laramie. We headed to one their homes. They have a basement with this fantastic huge sectional sofa in it. Leah, Hannah, and I all slept on it and Drew slept on a twin mattress next to us. It was really comfy. Hannah thought we were insane - telling her to lay down and go to sleep on a couch but she handled it really well and then slept all night without any troubles. Yay for her!

(as a sidenote: Hannah has started calling us all with our last name involved. Leah Howe! Mommy Howe! Daddy Howe! So when she woke up Sunday morning her head was right next Leah's and she sits up and with total glee shouts: LOOK! Leah HOWE! - I'm ever so glad I was awake to witness that.)

We all get up. The roads are open. YAY! We pack up, leave, get the girls some breakfast (which before we left the house they both refused but then Leah was starving a few minutes later. I love kids. haha.) We get 20 miles down the road - we're so happy to be heading home. And boom. They reclose the roads. We are forced to turn around, drive the 20 miles back to Laramie to wait. We decided to hit Walmart. I needed things there but I hadn't wanted to go before because I wanted to be HOME.

Oh well. We spend 3 hours in Walmart. I get all the things I was after. The girls are losing it. I think maybe we should go back to his brother's house. So does Drew. Leah does not agree. That's backtracking. I see her point (no. she did not use the word backtracking) We were driving past the theater as we discussed this and see that "Puss in Boots" starts in 15 minutes (in 2D. THANK GOODNESS. I've had it with 3D movies.)

So off we go. We watch the movie and just towards the end I check on my phone and YAY - the roads are open.

We head out. Again. By now it's like 2:30/3 in the afternoon.

100 miles to go from Laramie to Rawlins.

20 miles. We pass the turn around mark. YAY.

30 miles. Dead Stop. Dead stop traffic in the middle of nowhere. Miles and miles of cars. Sometimes we'd get up to 4 mph.

SIX HOURS. 20 more miles. That's how long it took to go the next 20 miles. Six. Hours.

At one point I turned to Drew and said – the pioneers probably did this 20 miles in better time while pulling handcarts.

There were no accidents. It was windy. Very very windy. My sister heard them refer to it on the news as "hurricane force winds". We don't have hurricanes here. We just have wind. A lot of it. Sometimes it's stronger than others. But when you mix that with some dry-ish snow - there is no visibility. It's awful.

There was nothing to do but forge ahead. Did I mention that this 20 mile stretch has no cell phone service?

My poor children. They did so well. Leah never had a fit or freaked. Hannah had one little melt down at about the four hour mark. Seriously? She's one. That's impressive.

At that point (being the stellar law abiding mother that I am...) I let them up. We were staying between 0 mph and 2 mph. I let them get up and walk around the van. Hannah even sat on Drew's lap for awhile. Leah got in my seat and I went to the back of the van and cleaned it so I didn't go stir crazy. When we started to move faster I buckled them back in and they both fell asleep not long after.

Finally about the 60 mile mark traffic got normal. It was glorious. We were home in less than an hour from that point.

I actually cried when we got off the interstate. My babies were sound asleep. It was 10ish. We put them in bed, took a long hot shower, and I was asleep the moment I got in bed. Drew said he was all wound up and watched TV for awhile. He was amazing at the driving. He's so careful with all his girls in the vehicle with him. Gotta love that about him!

And I gotta love that just the day before he'd bought us 4 new tires. If we'd hit those roads on our old tires. Oy. That would not have been good.

There you have it. The hideous trip.

I don't want to leave town again for awhile, okay? Thanks.

For a little happy - Here are some pictures of the girls during our walmart trip. They were both in footie jammies.

Leah said: Let’s pretend to take a nap now…. I’m fooled. How ‘bout you?

My Leah

2011-11-14T20:39:00.001-07:00

I’m feeling very emotional about her this evening. I doubt I can find the words for how wonderful I think she is. All the amazing parts of her, the ‘secret’ parts that only I get to see because she’s too reserved to show it to the world.

The parts everyone gets to see too. Her kindness. Her ability to draw in the other children around her and involve them all. It’s fascinating to watch.

She has such a tender heart. She makes me a better mother. “Don’t yell at me mommy!” I can reprimand her all I want but if I do it in a raised voice she doesn’t hear it at all. I’ll thank her for that someday – maybe when she becomes a mother.

She is having a phase about food I don’t adore all that much but we don’t have to go there today…

Here are some fun pictures of my 6 year old…

These are from last Friday. The things she wanted to do for her birthday were in Denver so we celebrated it on Friday when she didn’t have school.

Looking all embarrassed about us singing to her…

This is her favorite new outfit from her Grandma Howe. She chose it to wear to school for her birthday today. SO cute.

She wanted to take pumpkin cookies to school but we didn’t get home until very late last night (that’s a whole ‘nother blog post in the making. Tomorrow perhaps.) I offered to make them early this morning and bring them to school but she didn’t want me to do it (she’s so sweet!) and suggested running to the bakery to get them. So Drew & Leah did that and then took them to school. But I felt bad so I made pumpkin cookies today anyway and had them done when she got home from school. (The pumpkin cookie recipe will probably be another post. This was the first time I’ve done this particular recipe and I doubt I’ll ever even look for another one again. Yum.)

PS This morning while we’re getting ready for school Leah says to me:

I feel so old!

Decorating Daddy

2011-11-13T21:41:00.001-07:00

He's awfully patient sometimes...

Superglue

2011-11-12T21:28:00.001-07:00

Were you aware that super glue on the ends of your fingers makes it hard to swype or type on your phone?

Just an fyi. In case you're planning to keep up with blogging on your phone while out of town.

Not that I would know...

My Wishes

2011-11-11T17:46:00.001-07:00

Blogging Prompt: It's 11/11/11, make three wishes.

Whenever I answer things like this I feel all this pressure to figure out what the perfect three wishes are!

1. I want my children to grow up with firm sense of who they are and a well-defined sense of the power they hold inside of them.

2. (in relation) I want my children to be HAPPY.

3. World Peace. .... haha. Got ya. Not that world peace wouldn't be great but it's not actually making my list.

3. (take 2) I want to be healthy. In all it's forms. Physically... Emotionally... Spiritually...

Hostage Negotiations

2011-11-10T20:14:00.001-07:00

I swear I blogged. The blogger app on my phone is holding it hostage!

I'm waiting for it's demands...

92 Questions

2011-11-09T21:06:00.003-07:00

I did this MeMe once before on Facebook but when I was searching about for blogging ideas tonight I came across it again. It amuses me. So here it is... ;)

Full Name: Anna Camille
Age: 35
Birthday: Dec 24 (crap. I'm almost 36.)

1. Last beverage : Ice Water (that was probably my last 50 beverages)
2. Last phone call : Drew
3. Last text message : Denise
4. Last song : Children's Christmas Music
5. Last time you cried : Today

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice : No
7. Been cheated on : Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: No
9. Lost someone special : Yes
10. Been depressed : Yes
11. Been drunk and threw up : No

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Deep Blue
13. Turquoise
14. Dark Purple

SINCE LAST YEAR (2010), HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend : Yes
16. Fallen out of love : No
17. Laughed until you cried : Yes
18. Met someone who changed you : Yes
19. Found out who your true friends were : I think I already know that.
20. Found out someone was talking about you : No
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list : Yes

GENERAL:

22. How many FB friends do you know in person: In person? They're all people.
24. Do you have any pets : Yes
25. Do you want to change your name : No
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Hung out at my mom's house and had a fantastic dinner, then celebrated Christmas Eve.
27. What time did you wake up today : 1st time? 2 am. 2nd time? 4:30 3rd and Final? 6:30
28. What were you doing at midnight last night : Sleeping.
29. Whats something you can't wait for: Leah's birthday celebration this weekend!
30. Last time you saw your father : When I went to Denver about a month ago.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? That's an essay not a short answer question.
32. What are you listening to right now: Drew apologizing to me (Don't ask)
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? My dad's name is Tom. My FIL's name is Tom. So ya - a lot.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now : It's cold in here. I'm sick of it being cold in here.
35. Most visited webpage : Facebook
37. Nickname(s): Cam, Jamil, Bife
38. Last Book you read: I'm working on War Breaker by Brandon Sanderson right now.
39. Zodiac Sign : Capricorn
40. He or She: Eh?
41. Elementary : I don't remember all their names. Several.
42. High School : Claremore High School & Westford Academy
43. College: Ricks College & University of Wyoming
44. Hair color : Red
46. Height : 5' 2.5"
47. Do you have a crush on someone? Indeed
48. What do you like about yourself? Lots of things. I'm kind of fantastic. :)
50. Tattoos : No. I have commitment issues. They're so permanent!
51. Righty or lefty : Right

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery: Tonsils
53. First piercing : Ears
54. First best friend: Stacy. I was 5.
55. First sport you joined : When that happens I'll let you know.
56. First vacation : Road trip across the country - Georgia to South Dakota. We went to visit my mom's parents.

RIGHT NOW :

59. Eating: Nothing but I could really go for an ice cream cone.
60. Drinking: Ice Water
61. I'm about to: Finish this note
62. Listening to: Drew is still talking. (still don't ask)
63. Waiting for: Bedtime.

YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids? : I have two.
65. Get Married? : I am.
66. Career? : Mommy

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes : If I met someone who didn't have one of those things... Well I'd rather not.
68. Hugs or kisses : Both please.
69. Shorter or taller : Taller
70. Older or Younger : Older
71. Romantic or spontaneous : Both
72. Nice stomach or nice arms : Arms
73. Sensitive or loud : Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
75. Funny or Shy?: Funny

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger : No
77. Drank hard liquor : No
80. Broke someone's heart : I hope not.
81. Had your own heart broken : Yes
82. Been arrested : No
83. Turned someone down : Yes
84. Cried when someone died : Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself : Yes
87. Miracles : Yes
88. Love at first sight: I believe in like at first site. Love is a lot deeper than that.
89. Heaven : Yes
90. Santa Claus: I am Santa Claus.
91. The tooth fairy: I am the Tooth Fairy.
92. Angels : Yes

That was entertaining to write. Again.

Hannah discovers Mommying

2011-11-08T21:53:00.001-07:00

Today Hannah discovered Mommying. She’s been for awhile carrying this Anne Geddes baby that’s dressed like a lady bug. However, today she noticed that baby is always asleep (it has permanently closed eyes) and she was annoyed. “baby awake? baby wake up!” So I got out the bin of dolls (oh yes. there’s a whole bin. don’t ask.) and she immediately picked out these two babies. And all day they have gone everywhere with us. For every meal she said “babies hungry!” and they had to sit in the high chair with her. They had to go with us on any errand. They went with us from room to room, for her naps, when I rocked her. She brought them to me several times “kisses!” and I had to kiss her and both babies.

Hannah: Baby? Cookies? Here baby.

Hannah: Milk Baby! Drink. Drink milk!

Here she is forcing the babies to look at me and say cheese. Could she be any more adorable? I’m thinking not.

Hannah: Done Baby? (then to me) All done Mommy!

And this is just some fantastic fun video of my girls just as dinner was ending…

Just some adorable fun (and a little high pitched scream at the end–although it’s lower than it used to be!)

PS The blogging prompt today:Has anything traumatic ever happened to you? Describe the scenes surrounding a particular event.

Well... Yes. But I can't think of one I want to share or go through the emotional mental process of writing.

My Apologies. ;)

Help Me, Please?

2011-11-07T20:24:00.000-07:00

What is the worst way you have ever had someone ask you for help?

Okay. That's not THE blogging prompt for today but it made me laugh out loud. I've had more than one person do this but it's my LEAST favorite, most obnoxious, feels-insanely-manipulative pet peeve way of asking for help.

Needs Help Person: So... How are you?

... I answer. Reciprocate:

NHP: Oh I'm good. What are you up to today?

.... I answer (and if I know the person well I hear the trap being laid)

NHP: Oh! I'm so glad you aren't doing anything important. Can you ________ for me?

Seriously. I HATE that. It's so obnoxious.

One time my husband told someone I was at home and lonely (this was pre children and he had to work) and said to them that they should do something with me, entertain me, etc. And what did they do for real? Call and say "I heard you weren't doing anything. Can you babysit?"

Nice. Thanks. My feelings were wicked hurt. And guess what? I said yes. That was a different me. Today I would have said no.

I am more than happy to do people favors (and really I rarely do say no) but be up front. Give me the chance to gracefully say no since that is, in fact, my right. Don't make it awkward for me. It's MEAN.

That is all. End of rant. :)

Wasn't that fun?

Random Questions

2011-11-06T12:36:00.001-07:00

I went on a site with this enormous list of writing prompts and I picked a few questions that immediate answers came to mind.

What is the best way to treat meddlesome people?

Restrict their access to you!

What would happen if you could fly whenever you wanted? When would you use this ability?

Does this mean fly in a plane whenever I want or that I could physically fly? I don’t know which but I’ll answer both

1. Flying in planes whenever I want – I would travel all over the world. I would literally go everywhere. There is nowhere I don’t want to visit at least once just for the experience. And I would take my girls with me all over the place. I’d love for them to have those kind of experiences to shape who they are!

2. If I could physically fly… When would I use it? Um… ALL. THE. TIME. I’d fly from my room to the kitchen. Are you kidding? I’d fly EVERYWHERE. That would be awesome.

What would happen if you could become invisible whenever you wanted to? What are some of the things you could do that you cannot do now?

I could pee alone. That was my first thought. I could go invisible, sneak down the hall, and PEE. ALL. ALONE.

Where would you prefer to be right now--mountains, desert, beach--and why?

Most of the year my answer would be the mountains but it’s dang cold there right now so I’m going with the beach – preferably a deserted quiet one. I want to lay in the sunshine and the peace and quiet.

And I would never pick the desert. Ick.

If you could give any gift in the world, what would you give and to whom?

My initial answer to this was instantaneous – Fertility. I’d give it to anyone who had ever struggled to have it. Most specifically right now I’d give it to Ann Marie.

Linear

2011-11-05T10:28:00.001-06:00

I wish working through grief was more linear. Start here. Take these steps. End here. Wouldn't that be glorious? Then a simple commercial or random TV show wouldn't have the ability to knock you flat when you are least expecting it.

That reminds me of this chart I saw about the path to success. I think that it applies to emotional/grief work too.

Most Attitude Award goes to…

2011-11-04T12:18:00.001-06:00

Hannah.

Specifically for this performance...

We set the stage with Leah accidentally stepping on Hannah's foot. Hannah does her annoyed shriek/scream...

Leah: I didn't mean to!

Me: Hug her and tell her sorry.

Leah: Sorry Hannah (as she gently hugs her)

Hannah (with genius timing): Zip it.

and she turns her back on Leah.

That's right. 19 months old. Most attitude.

*****

Today's blogging prompt:

When you are writing, do you prefer to use a pen or a computer?

I'm just gonna be honest. This one is kind of dumb. At least for me. I'm not a writer. I blog. So... ya. On the computer. Because who writes a blog with pen and paper and then types it up? That's a bit nutty.

*****

This morning Leah was just playing with paper. Drawing and writing things. She draws several tents and brings me the picture - where underneath it she believes she's written the word TENTS. But alas - it was the word ~~TITS~~. Without cracking a smile I explained that wasn't how you spelled tents. And she says: what does it say? uh... So I told her and said it was a rude word for boobs. She laughed and went back to try and spell tents. This is the picture below. (That’s a pond to go fishing on the side there.)

I want an award for not busting up laughing at both of these incidents. A big award.

PS It's Daddy that says "zip it". Not that I don't have a goodly amount of attitude but I'm not taking the blame for that one!

Quiet? What?

2011-11-03T09:30:00.001-06:00

Can you listen to music and write? What song did you hear today?

Can I listen to music and write…. HAHAHAHA.

It’s never quiet in here. I have to be able to hear a million things and still do a blog post. It can’t always wait for the little bit of peace at night when I’m tired.

At this moment I’m listening to Drew & Hannah watch Despicable Me. Which is not silent, of course. Lots of chatter from Hannah too.

She’s also been on and off my lap at least 6 times.

I’m also carrying on several IMing conversations in Yahoo! and Skype.

And contemplating getting up to make some brownies… but I haven’t had breakfast yet. That might not be healthy. Or I could eat some healthy breakfast while they cook. These are my deep thoughts for this morning.

And I have a cold. And I’m medicated. So it’s a miracle I have any thoughts at all.

Oh – the only music I’ve heard today is my hideous cold voice singing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” to Hannah several times – also while typing this post.

That’s all I’ve got for you today!

PS – I’m doing the thankful days thing in my sidebar. Adding one each day for November.

Crab Please!

2011-11-02T10:04:00.001-06:00

If you knew that whatever you ate next would be your last meal, what would you want it to be?

Well that’s an easy one!

I want a crab and sushi buffet.

Snow crab, King Crab, Blue Crab, Dungeness Crab – all of it. There should be some of everything. And if it’s my last meal I want plenty of clarified butter to be dipping it all in!

And for the sushi - lots of roe (but not salmon roe. I don’t like that), lots of tuna and spicy tuna, eel and avocado, shrimp tempura rolls, some crab in my sushi too… well you get the idea.

Sushi and Crab.

I had this on Oct. 7th when I was in Castle Rock, CO visiting my mother. I took this picture with my phone. So. GOOD.

NaBloPoMo

2011-11-01T10:15:00.001-06:00

It's that time of year again! Blogging every day this month. The good news is I've been in the mood to blog lately so this will get me going for real! Woot! ;)

*****

Of course now I've been sitting here staring blankly at the screen because I can't decide where to start! ha.

The prompt today is "What is your favorite part about writing?" Eh. It isn't so much that I love writing (especially since I don't think I'm particularly good at it) but what I love about blogging - or the blog world in general - is the sense of connectedness it gives people. And often this blog is a cathartic place for me to work out things that are going on in my head or something I'd like perspective on from other people.

And of course - a place to talk about my adorable children!

I posted these two pictures on Facebook yesterday. This is yesterday for Halloween:

That is my gorgeous Pumpkin Spice Girl at the end of the day. She was so exhausted and so happy. She declared it “The best Halloween EVER” and was still saying that this morning when she woke up exhausted and headed off to school .

And that is perhaps the cutest pumpkin ever to make a Halloween appearance!

And for an extra treat… Hannah wishing you a Happy Halloween!

and yes… she really does love chocolate just that much.

Breakfast Invention

2011-10-29T08:51:00.001-06:00

2 cups Krusteaz Pancake Mix
1 1/2 cups water
2 TBSP melted butter flavored shortening (you could use butter or oil)
1 TBSP Orange Zest (I used dried)
1 tsp Vanilla (Mexican. yummy)

1 Belgian Waffle Maker

I left the batter to sit while I made the sauce so that the dried zest could hydrate.

Sauce:

1 can Mandarin Oranges
2 tsp Sugar
1 TBSP Honey
1 TBSP pure Maple Syrup
Pinch of Nutmeg
Pinch of Allspice
1/8-1/4 tsp Cinnamon

Boil for about 10 minutes.

Pour into another container (or you could just remove from heat). Add some vanilla. About a teaspoon.

Assembly:

A waffle.
A dollop of Greek Gods Honey Yogurt.
Mandarin Orange Sauce.

Personally I thought this was fantastic. Drew isn’t here so I don’t have another adult opinion. Hannah ate it fine – although she has a fever and she didn’t eat a ton.

Leah: This tastes good but it looks weird so I don’t want to eat it.

Me (through very clenched teeth): Go. To. Your. Room.

A few minutes later I go to her room…

Me: Seriously Leah? It looks weird?

Leah: I’m not hungry.

Me: Just stay in here until you are. (Which I only said because I knew she was lying. She’d been begging for breakfast for a good 30 minutes). She came out about 2 minutes later. *rolling eyes*

She’s now eating her waffle.

Why do I bother? I’m just going to keep reminding myself that I cook because I enjoy it. I’m worth it too, right?

PS Most of the measurements are guesstimations. Sorry. I wasn’t actually planning to blog this until the child fit started.

I’m gonna go assemble another one just to take a picture of now. I’d take a picture of mine but I inhaled it while I typed this. I might be forced to eat more bites since I’m assembling it anyway….

Update: Leah decided not to take more bites and now she’s just hanging out in her room to preserve her life.

Another Update: She came back out again and is now for real eating the waffle. Oy.

Looks like torture, eh?

Oh AND if you haven't had Greek Gods Yogurt. Get thee hence to the store!!! Store Locator here. To Die for. Honey. Strawberry Honey. YUM.

Fancy…

2011-10-28T20:27:00.001-06:00

Are there words for this? Because I don’t have them… Someone caption it for me. Please?

The Balloons

2011-10-25T14:19:00.001-06:00

This is a place Drew says he used to come to sometimes as a teenager when he wanted to be alone and sit by the river. It’s about 15 miles outside of town.

Yes, Wyoming already looks like winter. I know you were thinking that… In fact it was pouring rain as we left town and got on the interstate and just as we pulled up to the river it stopped raining. Just a stray rain drop now and then.

This is what 60 balloons looks like in a bunch (that’s a rain drop on the picture).

My friend at the store that did the balloons (she’s the floral department manager) put in one “It’s a Girl” balloon and one “It’s a Boy” balloon. I was surprised how right that felt. It was a great idea.

I took the balloons from Drew and held them all at once. He put his arms around me and said a prayer. Then I pulled the balloons more down around me. For just a minute they were all around me and I stood there and cried. Then I started letting them go one at a time.

Just as we got back in the car and started to drive away again, it started pouring. It felt like an acknowledgement from Heavenly Father of what we were doing there. It was very sweet.

I’m amazed at how much better I feel having done that. Lighter some how.

I ordered the fabric to make the quilt right before we left. I have a poem that’s going to go on the back of it in the corner. I found this image of it the other day…

Feeling crafty…

2011-10-20T13:08:00.001-06:00

I’ve been sewing things lately. I should do other posts too. I made these rice packets, and another purse, and a couple of matching wrap skirts for the girls but this is what I did last night for myself while the girls were sleeping…

PS It’s completely reversible too!

Hannah was next to the purse during all the pictures. Saying “Cheese!” the entire time…

Miscarriages

2011-10-17T00:48:00.000-06:00

I've blogged about my infertility, my miscarriages, my diagnosis, my recent hysterectomy but there are apparently some things that... not only have I not blogged about... I have not processed them myself.

I know I've said on here before that I stopped counting my miscarriages a long time ago. And generally in the doctors office I'll just say 20+. I know it was more than that but there has never been a time in the last... wow. 14 years next month - that I have allowed my mind to really try to gather how many times that has happened to me.

I've been reading a book called Firefly lane - which so far is very good - but in one part one of the women has a miscarriage and my reaction to that part was stronger than I've had in a long time. I was listening to the audio book as I cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen... then I was standing at the stove and sobbing. And I have found myself over the last few days crying on and off at random.

It's taken me a couple of days to work through the grief I've been feeling. It feels so heavy. Suddenly heavier because I'm acknowledging the weight of it instead of ignoring it.

I think that I'm capable of dealing with this now (and I need to) because I've had the hysterectomy and the miscarriages are over. There was really no point in working through the grief in its entirety because it was an ongoing issue.

There are lots of people who may have a single (or several) miscarriage and do a ceremony of some type - plant a tree, let a balloon go, a little memory box, name the baby. And I guess I felt like if I started that I would have to keep doing it every time - and then how was I going to keep all my emotions in check while that happened to me over and over? I NEEDED to keep my emotions in check.

So now I'm thinking - I want to do something. Something that honors those babies and what has happened to me.

Oh and I finally discussed - out loud even - how many miscarriages I must have had in the last 14 years.

In this last year, I'd say as I look back - I had 4 this year. So let's just take that number and multiply by 14. That's 56. It may seem ridiculous since it was happening to ME but that number SHOCKED me. And Drew says to me, "but in the early years when we were trying to hard to get pregnant you had way than 4 a year." So we'll just go with 60+. I can't even... Just. Wow.

So the question is - how does one go about memorializing for themselves 60+ miscarriages?

Drew says we should buy 60 helium balloons and go somewhere and sit and let them go one at a time. I like the physical process of that idea. I think that maybe that would be like watching the weight lift from me.

I think I might also like to make a quilt - with 60 distinctly different squares. Although that's a heck of a lot of fabric gathering I'd have to do.

So one thing for the physical process and one thing to keep and hold on to that represents our journey through this.

Any other ideas? I just want to do something that feels healing. I feel an almost desperate need to do something because I can now and I've always wanted to.

Interview with Leah (Take 2)

2011-10-11T09:55:00.000-06:00

If you do this repost with your child's name and answers & let me know you did it!

Interview #1 (at 3 years. 3 months.)

Leah - 5 years 11 months old

1. What is something mom always says to you?
Oh my word (hahahaha)

2. What makes mom happy?
When I give you lots of kiss

3. What makes mom sad?
When daddy fights with you (oh man. that's sad)

4. What does your mom do to make you laugh?
Tickle me

5. What was your mom like as a child?
a kid (okie dokie)

6. How old is your mom?
25 (I love her! - to be fair I am 35. She realized that a few seconds later and changed her answer but I'm going with the 25).

7. How tall is your mom?
taller than me

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
cook

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
take care of Hannah

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
she'll be on a tv show about pirates (huh.)

11. What is your mom really good at?
cooking

12. What is your mom not very good at?
I asked her 5 times (in various places on the list) she could not come up with an answer. I really do love that child. lol

13. What does your mom do for a job?
take care of hannah and me

14.What is your mom's favorite food?
crab

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
when she doesn't yell at me

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
spongebob (twerp. she knows I hate spongebob. she thought that was very funny)

17. What do you and your mom do together?
go shopping

18. How are you and your mom the same?
We both have jammie pants on right now

19. How are you and your mom different?
You have glasses and I don't

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
because she kisses me a lot!

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
because he buys you presents

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
The grocery store (then we had a discussion because I made a face. she came to the conclusion that I just like to go "places").

Enchiladas. Nummy.

2011-10-08T16:49:00.001-06:00

**I just came to look something up on this blog and I was so surprised this post wasn't here. Oops. It was in my drafts...**

That sandwich... That was homemade flat bread, a deviled egg mixture (just the yoke) with chives and bacon bits, sprouts, blue crab claw meat, sliced roma tomatoes, red leaf lettuce, avocado (salted), and mayo with a little dill on the other side. It was FABULOUS.

The other night I couldn't decide which enchiladas to make - so I made both. I did a half batch of each.

http://letsdishrecipes.blogspot.com/2011/02/white-chicken-enchiladas-with-green.html - The white one

http://www.melskitchencafe.com/2011/09/red-chile-sauce-chicken-enchiladas.html - The red one

For both I used the baked chicken that I love from the deli here.

My favorite was the white. Leah and Drew loved red the best but I didn't love the red ones more than the red ones I usually make. But those white ones are here to stay!

Dinner

2011-09-25T20:05:00.000-06:00

I'd tell you more about this sandwich but I can't talk with my mouth full. You'll have to just feast with your eyes.

Bye Bye.

No One is Home

2011-09-18T10:22:00.001-06:00

Hannah's reaction to me when I said... "Here is your medicine."

Homework

2011-09-15T18:55:00.001-06:00

Leah had to describe herself to me tonight for part of her homework. These are her words...

I have black hair.
I have brown eyes.
I have brown skin.
I have curly hair.
I am gorgeous.

I'm still alive.

2011-09-13T15:18:00.001-06:00

For awhile I was kind of subhuman. haha. But here I am, feeling more and more like myself these days. Yay!

I had a hysterectomy to solve the problem from the previous post. Did you know they really aren't kidding when they say the recovery takes 6 weeks? I didn't really take that seriously. Tomorrow is my 6 week mark and I still get tired really easy but it's eons better than it was! I'm getting there. Getting aspiration pneumonia and having diabetes (slows healing) wasn't helpful but I know in the long run this will all have been worth it!!

I've been thinking about blogging a lot lately. I'm sure you remember that my children are adorable and they say adorable things all the time. (not that I'm biased of course) There is obviously no backtracking to share all the cuteness with you so we'll just go with what happened today so far...

This morning as we were getting ready for school we had to discuss VIN numbers, the rotation of the earth and why we only see the sun sometimes, and the what to call something if it's not the same but it's not an opposite (similar). That was all in 45 minutes. Leah has questions in her head. Lots and lots of questions.

And while we were leaving the house Hannah said: Bye bye house! Bye bye grass!

We are right now all watching Fraggle Rock together. You heard me. Fraggle Rock. (Thanks Jeff for that idea. lol)

Sitting is done...hannah is saying "showman" over and over. I have no idea what that means but she's trying to pull my from this chair.

"You want me to get up?"

"Ya."

"Where are we going?"

"Get up! Walk!"

Nice Hannah. Nice.

Extraordinary Stromal Decidualization

2011-06-29T20:15:00.001-06:00

Now that’s a blog post title if I’ve ever seen one! Try not to be jealous that you’ve never been quite so clever, k?

Ha. I’m funny.

So – that’s what I have. Not cancer (yay!) Well really extraordinary is not part of the title. That’s just what the nurse said to me when she called. I thought it was part of the title but apparently it was just a description of how badly I have Stromal Decidualization.

This isn’t so common that there is a layman term for it. It’s in fact apparently quite uncommon. Lucky me. It’s a wonder I don’t win the lottery. Maybe if I start buying tickets…

Anyway, I’m trying to come up with my own name for it. Let me know if you have any brilliant ideas.

Also, because it’s not particularly common, there isn’t a lot of easy reading to do about it when you Google it. In fact, there isn’t much of anything. And what is there is all thick medical text. The only thing the nurse said that stayed with me was “we only ever see this in people who have multiple miscarriages”. Right. Well… that would be me.

So I’ll summarize what I learned from the various medical articles I read and share some links – just in case some other woman stumbles across this blog googling for things about stromal decidualization! Don’t feel as if you have to go read all this rather boring material!

First – in case you don’t know me well or haven’t been reading my (rather inactive these days) blog for very long. I have had many, many miscarriages. I’ve never known why. I’ve just always known that I can get pregnant fairly easily but I cannot stay pregnant. I literally lost count how many miscarriages. I know that sounds morbid but at some point it was easier not to count, not to take a test, to just know I’d had one and move on.

Part 1:

Decidua is the term for the uterine lining (endometrium) during a pregnancy, which forms the maternal part of the placenta. It is formed under the influence of progesterone and forms highly-characteristic cells.

After ovulation, in mammals, the endometrial lining becomes transformed into a secretory lining in preparation of accepting the embryo. Without implantation, the secretory lining will be absorbed (estrous cycle) or shed (menstrual cycle).

With implantation the lining now termed decidua evolves further during the pregnancy.

Got all that? Once you’re pregnant the decidua thing starts (that’s the root of my issue – and the root of the word. ha! I’m funny. Really. I am. You’re supposed to be laughing now…)

Part 2:

FYI: Stroma (animal tissue), the connective, functionally supportive framework of a biological cell, tissue, or organ

The decidua has a histologically-distinct appearance, displaying large polygonal decidual cells in the stroma. These are enlarged endometrial stromal cells.

Formation of a specialized decidua is called decidualization, which is a special property of endometrium seen only in placentation.

Placentation refers to the formation, type and structure, or arrangement of placentas.

Are you following me here? Sorry. I know this is thick.

So my uterus (heretofore referred to as: Hazardous Waste or HW for short) is full of placenta cells. 14 years worth of miscarriages and build up from them.

One of the ironies of this situation? My body doesn’t do anything right and I’ve been known to say many times – at least it knows how to miscarry and I don’t have to have D&Cs. HA. Apparently I was mistaken.

So that’s the beginning of that. I get pregnant. My body starts making placenta. I miscarry but it doesn’t get rid of the placental cells.

Now…

http://molehr.oxfordjournals.org/content/16/12/886.full – there is also this related article that my friend Renee found when she was googling with me.

This one. I don’t know. It threw me for a loop. I honestly felt like I would ask Heavenly Father when I died… “So what was up with all the miscarriages, eh?” And that’s exactly when I expected to find out.

But alas – this article tells me why.

Super Fertility. For real? I also often say when talking about my infertility: I’m the most fertile infertile woman ever. It’s ridiculous how easily I get pregnant. RIDICULOUS.

The article says: In our clinical experience, however, many women with RPL, especially those who have experienced many consecutive losses, report exceptionally high pregnancy rates.

No kidding. Huh. Oh RPL = Recurrent Pregnancy Loss

Also from the article:

Superfertility in humans is currently only an anecdotal concept without obvious clinical connotations. Even in a broader biological context, superfertility is a rare phenomenon, ascribed only to certain breeds of sheep.

Seriously? This might be morbid but that made me laugh hard. OF COURSE whatever perfectly describes me would be something only proven in certain breeds of sheep. OF COURSE. Baa Baa. That’s me.

If you want to read the article, feel free. It’s long and thick but you’ll see the discussion about it’s relationship to decidualization.

Clearly, it’s nothing I can totally confirm but it so perfectly matches all the things that have happened to me and then the end result that I have – it seems fairly obvious.

So what’s the solution? When the nurse called me she said at minimum I needed a D&C to clean everything out. I told her – I don’t want that. NO NO NO. Please just take it out.

She said that I would have to discuss that with the doctor but she seriously doubted he would be opposed.

So today I was supposed to have an appointment to discuss it but between him being a baby doctor and being late for everything (babies never come when they are told!) and Drew’s work schedule – blah blah blah. It just wasn’t going to happen today. (I have to drive 100 miles to the appointment). So I asked could I discuss it with him on the phone. His nurse called me again later (same woman) and she said – are you really sure you want a hysterectomy? Yes. I’m sure. Very sure.

(Please. I have two children. And neither one of them involved my stupid malfunctioning uterus)

She said okay then. Let’s have you come in on July 11th and change it to a preop appointment.

Okie Dokie! I’m on board for that.

I’m excited to have it over. I’m nervous as all heck for the actual doing of the thing. For the weeks after when I’m not supposed to lift over 20 lbs (Hannah weighs 22 lbs). That kind of thing. Spending the night in the hospital away from Hannah. I haven’t spent a night away from her yet. I know she’s 15 months old and she’ll be okay in the long run but I wish I wasn’t doing that to her yet.

Oh and we’re in the middle of moving. I guess that’s one way to get out of lifting heavy boxes…

2011-05-24T22:50:00.001-06:00

Let me begin this by assuring you this post is not about garnering sympathy. I'm just myself kind of coming to terms with... something. I'm not sure what.

(Sorry that it's so long and so rambling. I had to get it out!)

So I have these medical issues. I may only be 35 but my body just has no idea.

Let's see... there are the female plumbing issues: infertility, probable endomeriosis (you can't diagnosis that without surgery), sometime I get ovarian chats too - which is pcos stuff. I have lots of those symptoms.

My periods are hideous. I can't move around too much for a few days. Pain pills that I swear take all my IQ points while I'm on them. I won't go into great detail about this one, eh? Lol.

This also is often accompanied by migraines.

I have IBS. It effects everything I eat, every meal, every day. I've blogged about the diet restrictions on here before. One of the toughest aspects of this is the emotional. For instance, let's say I have a fight with Drew. If I get really tense and upset, I will have an attack. The severity generally matches the fight but not always. Last time I had an attack that lasted 5 days. Which means I'm in pain and not functioning well and just eating rice or baked potatoes while my insides calm down. Or I'll just have one at random. I had one last week where my insides - from the top of my throat and all the way down - cramped up and stayed cramped for 13 hours. Drew was at work and I was literally crawling around the house at times to take care of the girls. It was hideous. He got home about the 8th hour and I collapsed in bed and finally fell asleep. Ugh. The next day I was just sore. Like I'd done a lot of abominal exercises.

Anyway... then there is the diabetes. Again with the food limiting. Checking my blood sugar. I hate doing that. Blah blah.

Acid reflux. I take a pill for that everyday. That keeps that at bay. But if I don't I'll actually cough up acid in my sleep. Sometimes get it in my lungs and wake up with a fever. So ya. Take the pill.

Restless legs: not a big deal but really annoying at the end of the night. I have a homeopathy treatment for that. It works great.

So what is my problem? I don't know. I sound like a freaking hypochondriac (is that how you spell that? )

Oh wait! The other extra food thing... corn. In all its forms... I have some kind of "allergy". It is mood altering for me. Which is a nice way of saying it makes me really, really grouchy/aggressive. So dramatically that Drew will physically hold me back from eating a corn chip. Poor guy. Hehe. And corn makes me exhausted. Corn, corn syrup, corn meal, corn flour... corn is in EVERYTHING.

I don't want to be defined by these things about my body. Lately it seems like I can't catch a break from any of this. I just want to live my life, be a mommy who doesn't have to say, "Sorry baby. Mommy is sick again today."

It's not who I am! It can't be. Its driving me crazy. How do I balance having all these medical issues with living life? How do I take care of them without it being the central thing going on with me?

I am sick of being sick. All of this seems to effect my immune system. I get everything that passes anywhere near me.

I'm also taking prozac for depression. Duh, right? I take a multivitamin (and finding one I could take was not easy! Chewable vegan childrens...), vitamin d, liquid vitamin b complex, glyburide for blood sugar, prilosec. I think that's it. Oh and cinnergen. It's a cinnamon supplement that makes me need less glyburide.

I hate that pile of pills. I had to get a dang pill organizer. Like I'm 75.

I do feel like this is becoming the center of my life. I want it yo be a backburner thing. All of it.

How do I do that?

Blogger App

2011-05-15T18:44:00.001-06:00

I'm just testing out this blogger app while I rock Hannah to sleep.

Hello people. :)

And a picture for your viewing pleasure ...

Introducing Chloe...

2011-05-13T18:25:00.002-06:00

The story of Chloe...

A month or so ago I sent Drew to the animal shelter with some canned cat food we'd bought for Benny & Joon. They wouldn't eat it. While he was there he saw this beautiful white cat. He convinced me the next week to at least go by there and see her. So we went by and she was sitting in the window. Maybe one of the most beautiful cats I have ever seen. Absolutely snow white, green eyes... just gorgeous. But they were not open. They were supposed to be but no one was there. So on Wednesday (which is nearly two weeks later) we decide on a whim to go by there again.

Again the shelter should have been open but was not. This time though there were people in there, they just hadn't opened the doors. So we waited a few minutes in the car (there were quite a few people waiting) and decided to leave because we needed to get Leah from school. As we are driving away the car next to us holds up a kitten. Drew slams on the brakes and rolls down his window. They were there waiting to relinquish two kittens they couldn't find homes for.

There was one boy and one girl. The boy was orange and looked just like Benny (without the any white markings) and then there was Chloe. I took her from him and that was that. We left with a kitten.

That's the story of Chloe!

Cupcakes

2011-05-07T16:26:00.001-06:00

Really? Could she be any more adorable??

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Joon and Leah

2011-05-06T08:31:00.001-06:00

This cat seems to feel it is her responsibility to guard over Leah all night long. It's strange cat behavior. It makes me love it all the more!

Cream Puff? Anyone?

2011-02-04T10:43:00.001-07:00

A little history… The other day we got cream puffs from the store. A strawberry, a plain, and a chocolate. Last night I threw away what was left of the chocolate one in the garbage outside my room, in the hallway…

I don’t think the rest needs words…

OH ya… I LOVE that cleaner. I keep it around for everything..

I'm Adorable.

2011-01-17T12:39:00.002-07:00

First, look how I haven't blogged since December! Sad.

Second, I had this conversation with Leah. It's really stuck with me.

We're in the bathroom getting ready for something and I say to her (as I ask all the time)...

Me: Leah, do you know you're adorable?

Leah: Yes.

Me: HOW do you know?

Leah: (all patient with me in her tone) because I can see myself in the mirror.

At the time I just kissed her on the head but.... wow.

Oh that we all felt that way when we looked in the mirror!

You're obnoxious.

2010-12-09T10:16:00.002-07:00

Me: Stop being obnoxious.

Leah (laughing): What does obnoxious even mean?

I proceed to give her an explanation. She says "but what does it mean?" I give her another... "but what does it MEAN?"

We do this about 10 times. I want to bop her on the head.

Me: You're being obnoxious right now by asking me over and over what obnoxious means!

Leah: oohhhh okay!

and she runs from the room.

Sheesh!

I’m alarmed.

2010-12-05T14:26:00.001-07:00

This lovely chart is about the Wheel of Time books. I was just looking up the release date for the final book and I see the total for audio there (which I’ve highlighted). I’ve listened to all these books on audio.**

But when I saw that total… I was alarmed. I have actually spent 17.5 DAYS listening to that??

I certainly don’t regret it. And when the next one comes out and is another 30 something hours long? I will listen again!

btw: I actually tried to read one. But I missed the voices too much. They’re like living people in my head…

**Side note: I LOVE audible.com. Totally worth it.

I would never!

2010-12-04T06:43:00.003-07:00

What's the most dangerous thing you've ever done?

I've never done anything dangerous. Ever. I'm innocent!

haha.

Okay, really I'm a mostly safe person. I haven't done anything particularly insane with my life.

The first thing that came to mind when I read that question was my driving when I was in my early 20s. Not as a teenager mind you - I drove pretty safely then.

But in my early 20s, I did some pretty dumb things. For example, one summer I had gone to a wedding in San Diego and I flew back in to SLC around 11:30 pm. I was headed to my bioDad's house here in Rawlins.

I got out of the airport a little after midnight, stopped got gas, a snack, etc. And I headed out. The drive is about 300 miles. It's supposed to take 4.5 - 5 hours.

I'd give you more details but I honestly don't remember much of the trip. I was EXHAUSTED. I just drove. Not only that, my car was full of all my belongings because I was in between semesters and apartments for a 3 week break. So from floor to ceiling - even in the passengers seat, the car was full. I couldn't see much around me. That wasn't particularly safe either.

And I pulled into Rawlins and it was 3:30. I looked at the clock and thought... WHAT? I knew my bioDad's wife was going to have a heart attack when I showed up so I drove around Rawlins for another 20 minutes or so. After that I decided I was too tired to keep stalling.

When I got there, she did, in fact, freak out a bit that I was there already. I didn't tell her until years later what I'd really done.

I figure I had to be going just over 100 mph at a pretty steady pace.

Driving that fast? While I was so exhausted I don't really remember the trip?

I'm glad nothing bad happened to me. Why in the world did I not get a hotel room and sleep first!?!? Ding a ling.

ETA: There was another thing during this trip... when I got to the airport I parked in the cheapest parking lot... it was quite a long way from the airport. When I got out of the actual building of the airport it was after midnight and really dark, of course.

Did I wait for the shuttle bus to come around? No. I just started walking. I walked through a dark parking lot in the middle of the night for probably 15 minutes or more to get to my car. I remember passing a couple of men and it actually crossing my mind that this wasn't safe. Aye aye aye.

NaBloPoMo - The End!

2010-11-30T23:33:00.003-07:00

This was not hard this year. And now I have all these things I want to blog about and I can't decide which one to use to end NaBloPoMo - and then it occurs to me...

I don't actually HAVE to stop blogging today! ha. I just don't necessarily have to do it every day.

***

My Christmas dilemma:

My guess is that Hannah + A Christmas tree = DISASTER.

She is in that fantastic baby stage of "MUST TOUCH. MUST TOUCH. MUST TOUCH." everything she sees. I don't want to spend the entire Christmas season keeping her away from the tree.

I think we've decided not to put up the big tree. We can get a little 3 ft tree and put it up on a stool in the corner out of her reach. I think that will work.

I involved Leah in the idea planning for that one so that she wouldn't feel like we just arbitrarily announced we weren't putting up the big tree.

I actually love this baby stage. They're so inquisitive and learning everything so so fast. It's just fun to watch. But the tree? It's just a fight I don't want to deal with every day.

So... Merry Christmas! I promise I'm not bah hum buggin' - just not gonna have a huge tree in the front window!

Step away.

2010-11-29T17:23:00.002-07:00

Some days I'm more snarky than others...

It's safer to just not write a real post at the moment.

Duh.

2010-11-28T10:50:00.005-07:00

Do you think we need to have badness in order to have goodness? Why?

Of course we do. How would you even know what was bad if you didn't know what was good? How would you know what true joy was if you never felt despair and sadness?

That's a silly question to me. It seems obvious.

Am I missing something?

8 months old

2010-11-27T22:58:00.004-07:00

Hannah is 8 months old. Yesterday. I have a hard time these days with the ages of my children but that's probably another post...

Weight: 18.5 lbs
Height: 27 inches

Big girl! She's tall for her age, about average for weight. She has these thighs... I swear you just want to nibble on them.

She's a crawling, walking along furniture, jabbering, screaming, happy bundle of baby!

We've been starting baby sign. So far she does the sign for "milk" (meaning her bottle) and is clear when I ask her "Do you want milk?" (while doing the sign). If the answer is yes she'll flap her arms and squeal or breath excitedly. If the answer is no, she just ignores me.

She'll also react to the sign/question "Are you all done?" when she's in her high chair. Same yes/no reactions.

We're starting to work on "eat" because I think sometimes she does the milk sign when she just wants food. We'll see if I can get her to differentiate the two. That would be helpful.

I love baby sign!

And I love and adore Hannah!!

Friday 5

2010-11-26T23:32:00.004-07:00

1. What’s your favorite holiday album?

Harry Connick, Jr - When My Heart Finds Christmas (I've been listening to that one for so many years it just sounds like Christmas to me) & Amy Grant - Home for Christmas (Breath of Heaven is my fav song on that one)

2. What song’s lyrics, title, or theme best expresses the positive aspects of your general mood at this time of year?

We Wish You a Merry Christmas! I know it's a short song but is there anything more cheery?

3. What song’s lyrics, title, or theme best expresses the not-so-positive aspects of your general mood at this time of year?

I feel overwhelmed sometimes at this time of year but I can't for the life of me think of a holiday song that expresses that feeling. Is there an "I wish I could have a massage for the 12 days before Christmas!" :) Although maybe that's why I love the song "Breathe" on that Amy Grant album. The part where she says, "Help me" makes my heart ache. Such a great song.

4. What’s your favorite song about a non-December holiday?

For the Beauty of the Earth (Thanksgiving)

5. What holiday song makes you want to cover your ears and flee?

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. Seriously. Ew.

After the meal...

2010-11-25T19:51:00.000-07:00

...is this how you feel?

It's not that cold.

2010-11-24T23:05:00.004-07:00

There are a lot of facebook status messages about the cold weather in various areas. I just have to say...

THIS is cold.

The low tonight is -9 and the wind is whipping around like mad. And this is our wind chill warning...

* WIND CHILL VALUES... WIND CHILLS WILL DROP BELOW MINUS 30 DEGREES LATE THIS EVENING AND CONTINUE THROUGH EARLY THURSDAY MORNING.
* IMPACTS... PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THESE VERY COLD TEMPERATURES AND WIND CHILLS WILL INJURE OR KILL EXPOSED LIVESTOCK OR HUMANS. WIND CHILL VALUES THIS LOW ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS... SO STAY INDOORS OR ADD EXTRA LAYERS AND COVER ALL EXPOSED SKIN IF YOU HAVE TO GO OUTDOORS.
PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...
THE WIND CHILL IS THE TEMPERATURE YOUR BODY FEELS WHEN THE AIR TEMPERATURE IS COMBINED WITH THE WIND SPEED. WITH WIND CHILLS BELOW MINUS 30 DEGREES... FROSTBITE CAN OCCUR IN AS LITTLE AS 5 TO 10 MINUTES. THE MOST SUSCEPTIBLE PARTS OF THE BODY ARE THE EXTREMITIES SUCH AS FINGERS... TOES... EAR LOBES... OR THE TIP OF THE NOSE.

Do you see that? Frostbite in 5-10 MINUTES!?!

If it's 30 degrees at your house? It's not cold.

That's all I have to say about that. :)

PS I finally remembered to order myself a winter coat tonight. I'm a G.E.N.I.U.S. How's that for a day late, eh?

Sometimes I Cry.

2010-11-23T22:53:00.003-07:00

Okay that's probably a bit of an understatement. I'm a cry baby but that's not really my point...

Today we went to Leah's Thanksgiving Preschool Lunch. The kids stood up front and sang two songs to us. All 3-5 year old children, lined up in one long line.

The songs both had motions. Leah was SO into it. She was so happy and so enjoying what she was doing. Shame one me for not bringing my camera. I don't think I've ever seen her so into something. The pure happy on her face while they performed that song.... Ya. I cried.

And every now and then I have these moments... these... "Oh my gosh. I'm a MOM!" moments. And they totally overwhelm me when it happens.

There was so much longing, for so many years.

And now every once in a while in the day-to-day life of being a mother, these moments smack into me for a minute. And I feel like I can't breathe for a second and then I cry.

I love being a mommy.

I live in Wyoming.

2010-11-22T14:25:00.003-07:00

How did you end up where you're living right now? What factors will help you choose the next place you live?

Well...

I did move to Wyoming of my own accord in 1996. I wanted to work for my bioDad for awhile and take a break from college. So that fall semester I didn't do school. I worked for him, lived here in Rawlins. In January I started taking classes again at the outreach center here. In an English class, I met Drew for the first time. And then a few weeks later I saw him at church and discovered we went to the same church and just hadn't seen each other. The rest of that is history, of course.

We moved around quite a bit but we were in Idaho after finishing college and I thought we'd stay there but alas. Drew really wanted to come back here. And he really wanted to work for the railroad. So here we are. Living in Rawlins again. Not my dream town but it's not a horrible place to live.

We will at some point move to Cheyenne. As soon as Drew has enough seniority to keep us there year round (which could be as soon as next summer). And likely we'll live there for a long time. Although you just never really know what is around the corner, I guess.

But I think I'd really like to live in Cheyenne. There are a lot of things there, it's only 45 min from Ft. Collins and only 88 miles from Denver. Way more access to a number of things than I have now.

And with all my food allergies? Seriously? It'd be really nice to be able to shop in the kind of store where I had lots of choices!

Today. 13 Years Ago...

2010-11-21T07:35:00.003-07:00

"The life that I have, Is all that I have, And the life that I have, Is yours.
The love that I have, Of the life that I have, Is yours and yours and yours.
A sleep I shall have, A rest I shall have, Yet death will be but a pause,
For the peace of my years, In the long green grass, Will be yours and yours and yours."
~ Leo Marks

Gun Class

2010-11-20T20:27:00.006-07:00

Well, I did it! I went.

That was step 1. Yeah me! My mom did not come because she's sick. So not only did I go but I did it on my own. Yeah me again!

As I mentioned before I had to read this book prior to the class. While it was very informative, I am telling you what. It was the driest book I have ever read in my entire life. I wanted to pull my hair out.

**And let's remember here: I have a BS in Mathematics. I've read some dang dry material. This book has no equal.

I had to read it in small doses with a highlighter in hand to keep me focused. Whew.

But in GREAT news - the class was not so boring. It wasn't a party or anything but I really liked the instructor and the other women in the class. We had fun.

We spent 4 hours going over the book and talking. He showed us a lot of what was in the book with a real gun (unloaded, etc). We practiced things on it and at one pointed I loaded pink plastic bullets in a magazine. I thought that was funny.

They were feeding us lunch - it was pizza. Since I can't eat any of that, I ran home and made a tortilla wrap. Kissed my babies and Drew and went back. After lunch he had us each hold a gun and decide which one we would use when it was time to shoot for real .

Then we talked about the book some more and then took a written test. (50 questions. Some multiple choice/some true or false.) I got 100%. Woohoo!

Then it was time to shoot. Oh man.

So we get our ear things on, glasses, etc. He had everything set up in the indoor shooting range already. So we each choose a spot. First I got to shoot a gun of his that's work like 3k. Wowzer.

That didn't seem like a bad choice for my first time shooting a gun, eh?

And I swear on my life... I. was. awesome. HA! I totally thought I was gonna miss the whole target or something. But no. I rocked it. One of the women looks at my thing and says "I think you've found your calling." That was funny. It didn't look like the target of someone shooting for their first time ever.

I asked the teacher at the end of class if I could have my target thing. He said, "You're taking that home so you can show off!" and I said, "My husband will NEVER believe me if I don't bring it home and show him!" He just laughed and got it down for me.

And I was right btw - Drew said he'd have never imagined it if I hadn't brought it home.

So that first gun had a laser sight. That was pretty awesome but I wanted to try one that didn't to see if I could still aim without it. I used a 9 mm next. My shots were still good - although not quite as good. And then after a few of that I used a revolver. I still hit the target with all 5 rounds but that was probably the worst batch. (I have a picture I'll post with this and you can see). None of it was awful.

There were a couple people in the class who were having a hard time even hitting the target so I felt good about hitting it all the time. hehe. At one point when I had 10 holes in mine I stopped and was looking at some of the others and one girl only had 2 holes. She was having a hard time not anticipating the gun. He said she just needed to keep shooting so she got used to it.

He had us each time, load 3 rounds, shoot 3, take out the magazine, etc. put it all down. Repeat.

Anyway, all-in-all it was a fantastic experience. Guns demystified.

As my friend Jeff told me - you need to transfer your fear to respect & responsibility.

Mission accomplished I think.

It was worth it!

**

PS The girls did awesome with Drew. Hannah was soooooo happy to see me when I came in the door. She was sitting on Drew's lap on the couch and when she saw me her little arms and legs just went totally wild and she started squealing. Best moment of my day!

The pictures:

The circles I shot with gun #1 was similar to THIS except there was a laser sight thing on top. Well and some other things were different but you get the idea.

In the picture the shots with this gun are the circles. The ones with the X through them are a series of 3 I did where he said he wanted us to do 3 in really fast succession.

The 2nd gun was a 9 mm. These shots are marked with a triangle.

The 3rd was the revolver. These shots are marked with a square.

The target was hanging mid air, roughly the height of a person, 25 feet away for all the shots.

Oh - and one or two of those spots - it has a circle and an X because several times I shot through that same spot. It just kept making the hole bigger.

I saw it!

2010-11-19T22:54:00.004-07:00

I went tonight ALONE to the movie theater and ALONE I watched the newest Harry Potter movie.

ALONE ALONE ALONE.

First, the movie was fantastic. I totally loved it. I laughed, I cried a little, I screamed several times. I even threw my arms and legs into the air at one point.

I'm certain I was a sight to behold.

Second, I did all this alone. I'm so rarely truly alone. Even when it's quiet and I'm 'alone', there are still children in their beds to be watched over, etc.

Anyway, I loved it.

It never totally turns off - the mommy thing. I had my phone on vibrate and every time it would buzz for something I'd grab it to see if it was Drew calling but still... I got to revel in the movie and totally enjoy myself. It was fantastic.

Btw, Drew had the girls. Hannah was already asleep when I left and he just had to put Leah to bed. When I came home the main floor of the house was all clean, dishes done, a big cup of ice water waiting for me and an apple pie candle lit.

That was sure pleasant to arrive home to after a movie alone!

A great evening, indeed.

Tomorrow I have my 8 hour gun class. Eek.

Random Prompts

2010-11-18T19:45:00.002-07:00

These are a few short prompts I read. None are long enough to be their own post really...

What's the first thing you do when you wake up? Say, "Hi Leah" or roll out of bed, walk to Hannah's room and say, "Good Morning, Hannah"

What's the one thing you always dread? Going to any kind of medical appointment. Doctor, Dentist, etc. Although if I had to rank them all Dentist would most definitely come out on top. I loathe going to the dentist.

If you could have ANY animal as a pet, what would it be? There are a bazillion things I would like that have as a pet. I love animals. Currently at the top of my list is a Hedgehog.

Name one famous movie you've never seen. Why not? That's actually a long list. I don't watch R-rated movies. There are a lot of famous R-rated movies in the world!

What's your favorite poem?
I love this poem. The first time I read it I was 18/19 years old. As soon as the opportunity arose I bought a little book that had this poem and a few others by Maya Angelou so that I'd have a copy of it. I love the message and the secret in her words.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

~Maya Angelou

Road Block

2010-11-17T22:44:00.003-07:00

I put a stool in the corner to stop Hannah from getting everything on the end table.

What do you think? Did it work?

You like that look? "What, Mom? Can't you see I'm busy here??"

Some people are too mobile for their own good!

Or too mobile for my sanity.... one of those!

Laughter

2010-11-16T17:06:00.002-07:00

Blogging Prompt: What's one thing that always makes you laugh, no matter what?

Chuck Norris Jokes.

Do I really need to say more? Every. Time. I really can't put words to why but seriously... What is more funny than Chuck Norris Jokes?

Nothing!

And for your amusement I'll leave you with a few...

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Draw a Picture

2010-11-15T19:56:00.003-07:00

Drew has a BA in Psychology. I don't know if I've ever mentioned that on here. Just an FYI so this makes more sense...

The other day he says to me "Watch this."**

(Leah was in the middle of drawing pictures)

Drew: Hey Leah! Draw a picture of yourself for me, okay?

Leah: Okay, Daddy!

Leah proceeds to labor over a picture of herself. And the longer she labors over it the bigger Drew is grinning. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he looked so pleased with himself. He's just ever so odd. lol

It took her about 20 minutes or so and finally she says "Here ya go, Daddy!" and he praised her for the picture and she happily skipped from the room.

Then he tells me - When you ask a child to draw a picture of themselves like that, it's a measure of their self-esteem. The longer they spend drawing the picture the higher their self-esteem.

Who knew? Not me.

But it's good to know she thinks well of herself... especially since *I* think she hung the moon.

**as an aside - I hate this phrase. Leah says it 100 million times a day.

10 Years Ago

2010-11-14T18:56:00.003-07:00

I was looking through blogging prompts and picked this one at random...

Where were you and what were you doing ten years ago?

I had to go find my husband and discuss this with him to make sure I remembered right.

10 years ago - Nov 2000. We had moved to Laramie, WY in Apr 2000 to finish college. So in Nov 2000 we were in the midst of a semester of college and living in a one bedroom apartment on campus. It was the smallest thing ever.

I remember the first day in that apartment. The manager showed us around and I acted cheery enough. She gave us the keys and left and I sat down in the middle of that tiny living room and sobbed for maybe 5 minutes. Drew was just sort of standing by me and patting me. He didn't know what to do. I was saying "I don't know if I can do this." etc.

Then I stopped. I stood up and said, "Okay. Let's unload the truck!" Poor man looked so confused. He called his brother and they proceeded to dump everything we owned into the living room (well - not everything we owned. It wouldn't have all fit!). Even the dining table was on top of the stuff upside down. It took me less than 48 hours. I was like a crazy driven woman. I had that place all organized and looking like we'd lived there forever.

We didn't live there horribly long but it was just right at the time. I think we paid 365/month? And that included all the bills - phone, internet, cable, everything. We had to pay our rent and our car insurance and buy food.

Man those were simple times. I wish we still lived that cheap! I can't quite imagine it. lol

Although it was in this apartment that I had my first miscarriage. That was not so simple. Or so great. I had no idea what was coming.

But all is well. I have a FIVE year old! And a 7.5 month old. That's so amazing to me. Life happened as it's bound to do. It certainly hasn't taken all the paths I had planned on. Okay - it's taken NONE of the paths I planned on and yet - all is well! And probably better than what I had planned. As far as children go, I cannot fathom two more delightful beings in this world. That part of life is PERFECT!

Happy Birthday, Leah!

2010-11-13T19:19:00.003-07:00

Okay - her birthday is really tomorrow but we had planned on celebrating it today.

We're all still ridiculously sick but Leah really didn't want to put it off despite her misery. So we just had my two sets of parents over. (Drew's parents are 150 miles away) No aunts/uncles, great aunts/uncles, cousins, etc.

I didn't want to bring everyone into our den of sickness.

Anyway.... here is her with her cake.

I wanted Drew to order a 1/4 sheet cake. He got a 1/2 sheet. We have a. lot. of. cake. I usually make her cakes but with all the sickness I knew I didn't have it in me.

NyQuil Blogging

2010-11-12T18:18:00.003-07:00

Drew & I each just took a dose of NyQuil.

Just as it's starting to set in I realize: Crap. I haven't blogged yet.

But now my brain is all fuzzy and every word has a typo.

It's so nice of blogger to underline them and let me know. Isn't that lovely? Only almost every word is underlined.

I'll fix it when I'm done.

When will that be?

Let's see. Leah's birthday party is supposed to be tomorrow. Hannah is sick. Leah is sick. Drew is sick. I am sick. We woke up this way this morning. Nice, right?

Leah's favorite cousin Elaina. Her mom called me a little bit ago to let me know that she and Elaina just tested positive for strep.

Crap.

Now she can't come tomorrow. And who wants to come to our dine of clearly contagious sickness anyway???

My poor child.

What do I do? Delay it? Have it with just a tiny bit of family? I have no idea. My poor baby.

These are my NyQuil thoughts. It's 7:20 pm and I'm going to bed now.

Yee.Haw.

Favorite MeMe

2010-11-11T20:24:00.003-07:00

What is your favorite....

1. favorite fruit

Mangoes.

2. favorite vegetable

Fresh Peas.

3. favorite cheese

Munster. It was really hard to choose one!

4. favorite lunchmeat

Oven Roasted Turkey Breast - Thinly sliced.

5. favorite nut

Macadamia Nuts.

For Connie...

6. favorite thing on the Wii Fit

Hmm... Actually my favorite thing about exercising with the Wii Fit is the variety of things to do. I get bored easily - especially when exercising (which I do not enjoy lol). But the Wii Fit actually makes it fun. I can do yoga if I'm in that mood. I can tell it to give me a routine full of games if I'm in that mood. Or I can mix them all up and do some of each. The possibilities are endless really. And that can keep me going!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-10T20:24:00.003-07:00

Sick.

2010-11-09T19:12:00.002-07:00

Hannah is sick now. She's thrown up a little twice today. She's had several diarrhea diapers. Her nose is stuffed up. Since she went to bed an hour and a half ago she's woken about every 10 minutes.

This may be a very long night.

Or maybe she's out for the count now? One can hope.

I'm too tired already to think of anything clever to share. So here you have her from this morning in a picture. She's so freaking cute I can't even stand it.

I also can't bring myself to take her out of these footie jammies. Could she BE any cuter? I never even got her dressed today because I couldn't stand to take them off!

I'm crazy. Oh well.

Here she is...

Just as I finished this she's waking up again... crap.

Simple Woman

2010-11-09T00:05:00.005-07:00

For Today November 8 2010...

Outside my window... It's dark outside and freezing. The last few days it's been 60s, today high 50s. Tomorrow? The high is 34. Brr.

I am thinking... that I should probably be asleep. Instead I'm up with Drew watching Hoarders. What is the matter with us?

I am thankful for... my deliciously wonderful children. How could they possibly be more fantastic?

From the kitchen... We did a major grocery shopping trip today. We came in the door at about 11 pm and I pulled out all the cold/frozen stuff, Drew put it away and all the rest of the groceries are still laying on the floor. And where am I? I am in bed. I'll fix it tomorrow. Promise.

I am wearing... what I wear in bed.

I am creating... a tired me!

I am going... to spend tomorrow enjoying my babies.

I am reading... Book 13 of the Wheel of Time Series and Pride & Prejudice.

I am hoping... that Hannah decides tonight is the night to sleep all night long!

I am hearing... the TV.

Around the house... tomorrow a little picking up. Most everything is done. And my sheets need washed.

One of my favorite things... is being in the house alone. I adore my little family but the peace of moving about the house alone is so refreshing!

A few plans for the rest of the week: Leah has school the next few days. She is going to my Mom's on Thursday to spend the night (so fun!) and then we are celebrating her birthday on Saturday. (She'll be 5 on Sunday!)

Here is picture thought I am sharing... Hannah. Words are not necessary...

Hannah & Food

2010-11-07T21:15:00.003-07:00

This child loves food. That is not emphatic enough.

Hannah. LOVES. food. LOVES LOVES LOVES FOOD.

If you are eating something in front of her, you must share or she must be eating too.

If she sees a perfect stranger eating, she expects some.

If she sees a food she hasn't had before, the moment she realizes it's food she wants some.

An example:

Today in church - There is a family in front of us. The kids are eating goldfish. Hannah watches for a few seconds. Food to Mouth. Food to Mouth. And then starts trying to leap off of me over the pew to get their snacks. The fit got to be so much I actually had to get up and take her out to calm her down.

It didn't matter that I had 3 different treats for her. What mattered is there was a food over there she hadn't tried yet. And she wanted it. She wanted it RIGHT NOW.

I literally have to only eat things she can also eat when she's awake. The rest of my food is while she's sleeping.

It's so fun to watch. Her hysteria, her excitement. And her absolutely DELIGHT when she tries a new food. I have to force myself to remember that she's 7 months old. There are just some things she cannot eat yet. Her little guts are too young!

Oh and she won't eat baby food anymore. It's not what we're eating - she doesn't want it either!

Movie Fun

2010-11-06T20:05:00.003-06:00

This morning I just randomly say to Drew (as he's getting ready for work) - I think I'll call your sister and see if she wants me to take her older 2 and I'll take all 4 girls to see that new cartoon movie.

Drew: Sure that sounds fun.... Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?

The 4 girls are 5, almost 5, 3, and 7 months.

I might be crazy but it was great fun and it went really well!

Afterward the nieces came back home with us and they all played for awhile before my SIL came to retrieve them.

They're adorable! A couple of pictures I took today...

Date Night... Maybe!

2010-11-05T21:38:00.002-06:00

I am experimenting blogging with my iTouch. This maybe filled with typos!

I'm an effort to finally have a date again Drew & I have invented the term "date in". He has acquired Thai food for us. we are going to watch Avatar (which I have seen but he has not). Let's hope our sweet girls cooperate. Sleep on babies!

I'm excited for him to see it.

Here's to a succesful "date in"!

Cover. Your. Ears.

2010-11-04T19:35:00.000-06:00

Do listen to this. Do NOT turn the volume all the way up.

Well, you can if you want but don't say I didn't warn you!

She's been doing this for quite awhile but the last 4 days it is constant. And this is the HAPPY version. The angry version is louder.

Enjoy! ;)

I can share...

2010-11-03T20:14:00.003-06:00

I have lost 9 lbs in 3 days. If you want to get on this "diet" with me, you'll have to come over. I'll be happy to breathe on you. I can even lick your face.

I'm giving like that. It's just in my nature.

Just call before you come. I don't want a line of people outside my house.

Guns. Eek.

2010-11-02T11:11:00.005-06:00

So I'm scared of guns. I don't want to see them. I don't want to touch them. I don't know what to do with one.

The power behind them, the permanency of the damage they can cause. It's just scary.

But recently a friend has convinced me that I should do something about that.

Then a couple days ago I saw this post on Facebook (I'm "friends" with the rec center):

Women's Hand Gun Basics Course will be offered in our indoor shooting range. This is an NRA Registered course taught by a certified instructor. Minimum 8 hour course. Certificate of proficiency upon completion. ONLY 8 SPOTS AVAILABLE. Begins Nov 30th. Hand guns available for participants. Cost is $25.00. For more information or questions give us a call! 324-####.

As it turns out it's actually on Nov. 20th. It meets from 8 am - 4 pm.

I'm doing it. I've paid and signed up. I told my mom about it and she decided it sounded "fun". (Crazy lady) So she's going to go with me. We were numbers 5 & 6 to register.

I have a 140 page book I have to read before the class starts.

Am I insane?

Facing the fear! Yikes.

Whine

2010-11-01T11:47:00.004-06:00

I've decided to begin NaBloPoMo with a whine!

I woke up sick this morning. I don't want to be sick nor do I have time to catch this. My understanding from the people around who have it, is that it lasts for about 2 weeks.

TWO WEEKS. Are you kidding me?

My children seem okay so far. My step-mother came and got Leah and took her dance class. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about preschool this afternoon. I don't know if Drew is going to make it in time.

This is a lame day!

And a lame post... maybe I'll come up with something more fascinating later. For now I will leave with with something adorable...

The day before turning 7 months... wearing 12-18 m Old Navy clothes.

NaBloPoMo

2010-10-31T22:26:00.002-06:00

Can I do it? Should I even try? It starts in one hour.... I guess maybe anyone still reading this blog is about to hear a lot of little stories about my children for the next month...

I've done this the last two years. I'd like to keep up the tradition!

NaBloPoMo 2010 here I come!

Adventures in Mommyland

Random Project

Do me a favor?

Toddler Fingers

Cooking Blog

*insert catchy title that belies my true feelings of dismay*

Leah’s Eyes

Simple Woman

Leah’s Allergies

Huh?

Bunny Cuteness

Sleeping Arrangements

Hannah and her Allergies

Tidbits

Productive Napping by Hannah

Humankind

*Happy Sigh*

CHEESE!

Favorite Christmas Music

A Thousand Words

Begin applause...

Simple Woman

Our Pets & A New Addition

Sweet Potatoes, Sweet Potatoes

Thankful

Walk Tall

Bacon

Twilight Anniversary

Sunday Stealing

Breakfast (… and 2nd Breakfast)

1st Breakfast

2nd Breakfast

Benevolence

Thankful Thursday

Wordless Wednesday

The Hideous Trip

My Leah

Decorating Daddy

Superglue

My Wishes

Hostage Negotiations

92 Questions

Hannah discovers Mommying

Help Me, Please?

Random Questions

Linear

Most Attitude Award goes to…

Quiet? What?

Crab Please!

NaBloPoMo

Breakfast Invention

Fancy…

The Balloons

Feeling crafty…

Miscarriages

Interview with Leah (Take 2)

Enchiladas. Nummy.

Dinner

No One is Home

Homework

I'm still alive.

Extraordinary Stromal Decidualization

Blogger App

Introducing Chloe...

Cupcakes

Joon and Leah

Cream Puff? Anyone?

I'm Adorable.

You're obnoxious.

I’m alarmed.

I would never!

NaBloPoMo - The End!

Step away.

Duh.

8 months old

Friday 5

After the meal...

It's not that cold.

Sometimes I Cry.

I live in Wyoming.

insert catchy title that belies my true feelings of dismay

Happy Sigh