Empaths

So this stems from last night's Amazing Race but I'll get to that in a minute.

Before my maternal grandmother died (all my grandparents have died so I have to specify) she was on dialysis. At one point mom & I took her to her appointment & we were sitting in the place waiting - just in the waiting room after they got her all set up.

Now, you have to know about me that I'm an emotionally driven person. It effects every choice I make. My emotions ARE me.

The other thing is I absorb other people's emotions. I don't actually believe in magical powers - but as my sister said to me before - if there really is such a thing as an empath - you ARE one. It has taken me a long time to learn to separate my own emotions from the people around me. I'm good at it now & it isn't such an issue but.... well, it just used to be.

Anyway - I'm sitting in this dialysis center and just feeling like I can't BREATHE. It was literally like all the saddness & emotion of that place with sitting on my chest. I had to go outside and sit in the grass to wait for my mother. (Grandma stayed there for four hours - we went back later to get her.)

So last night I'm watching the amazing race & they go to Aushowitz - the concentrate camp from world war II. I would seriously not have been able to do that & then just shake it off and keep doing the race. I think more likely I'd have been catatonic from the death & sadness that I'm sure is just dripping from every part of the earth & buildings that are left.

I was crying just watching. More emotional than the contestants were! For sure, they seemed to all feel it. I just don't think I would have been able to shake it off so well.

I don't know what that means. Just an observation :-) If I ever get to go there it will have to be the only thing I do that day & then back to bed!