Stuff

I am beginning this blog post with no idea where it's headed. Leah is asleep next to my, I have a cold AND I'm cold!.

My husband is the best nurse. He brings me stuff, makes me stuff, & basically caters to my every whim. What in the world did I do to deserve that??

Yesterday I asked for these frozen Thai eggrolls from the freezer. He made them, made me a drink, arranged them on a plate with a ramekin full of sauce & then sliced lemons, sprinkled some herbs on them and arranged those on the plate too. That's so sweet, right??

And when I came home from work yesterday morning. The bedroom was clean & he had gathered every snack in the house & put them all on my nightstand. 3 kinds of chips, pretzels, 2 dips, drinks, etc. And the bed was turned down waiting for me.

He's pretty fantastic!

Right now he's cleaning the kitchen!

***********

I don't believe I mentioned on my blog that Drew has not worked in a month. He's still getting some pay (like 1/4 of his normal) because the railroad is replacing track & so they laid off quite a few conductors. It's not permanent & he should go back any day but it sure stinks to be out of work for now!! He loves his job SOOO much too. It's hard for him to not get to go.

So I started doing some work for my biodad a couple hours each morning. He does merchandising at the grocery store. Nabisco, Keebler, Almos (several brands in there), Snyder (also includes several brands), several different jerky brands. Basically anything in the cookie/cracker aisle except the store brand. So I've been stocking, rotating, making orders, etc.

Woohoo.

I hate leaving Leah. She's okay though. She's with her Daddy!

***********

I should be doing homework. My 2nd semester of grad school has started & I haven't accomplished a single task. NOT good. I'm having a hard time getting back into. Blech.

Maybe I'll at least go check out some of the assignments. Maybe.

**********

Leah has become an "under the blanket" sleeper. Her head & everything. When she gets out in her sleep she will pull it off her head. But mostly she sleep completely cocooned in her blanket. It's very cute. At least I know she's warm!

New Yummy Snack

My new favorite yummy snack!



I mean seriously - Pumpernickel pretzels?!?! SOOO good. The cheese sandwich ones are good too. I like the peanut butter ones but not my favorite.


Slightly pricey as far as snack food goes but worth it! Promise!

Kindness

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

I read this in a forwarded email, in someone's signature today. (Not the point of the email). I really, really like the thought.

Fun Music

I absolutely love this!!

Sleep Routine Resolution!

So after my last meltdown about how bad the getting to sleep had gotten...

We decided to try a new bedtime routine!

3 books, prayer, 3 songs.

The first night it still took an hour & 10 minutes. One, I don't think she really believed me. Two, well - that was an improvement over the 3 hours the night before.

The 2nd night - about 30 minutes.

The 3rd night - 15 minutes!

And that's been about average since then! It's a raging success. I can't even believe it. I thought we'd have to stick with it for weeks to get it to work.

Being a religious sheep...

You know what irks me to know end??

The idea that if you are religious, you go to church regularly, you try to live your life in a Christ-centered way... then you're a stupid, unlearned, uneducated sheep.

That's ridiculous.

There are people who are "sheep" in all parts of life. There are those who are atheists who haven't studied many religions, researched all aspects of history, and THEN made the decision to be an atheists.

And there are religious people who are similar.

It's no different than any other part of life.

I am educated. I am intelligent. I HAVE studied. I have learned.

And (I know this will shock you)...

I am STILL religious.

Give me a break world! Being an atheist doesn't make you brilliant automatically! And being religious doesn't make you an idiot.

Just thought I'd make note of that ;)

Who should I vote for?

Quizzes I've taken:

http://www.wqad.com/Global/link.asp?L=259460 - Mitt Romney Score: 34

This was the first one I took. That actually really surprised me. What the heck?

http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/election2008/candidate-match-game.htm?loc=interstitialskip - Chris Dodds, John Edwards, & Joseph Biden (in that order).

As a side note I gave the quiz to Drew and he got: Rudy Giuliani, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney. He wants to vote for Romney.

http://www.vajoe.com/candidate_calculator.html

Dennis Kunicich, Joseph Biden, John Edwards, Mike Gravel (in that order)

Interestingly Romney didn't make any of the other list. Maybe I should go take that first one again. Every other quiz brings me up with all democratic candidates with varying degrees of agreement. Why in the world did that one say Romney??

ETA: I took that first quiz again because... well, what in the world? Got: Kunicich, Edwards, & Richardson. I don't know what did that first time! lol

Fulfilling the request...

Pants.

"Looking Mommy"

So yesterday I went to church without Leah & Drew. (Leah was still asleep when I left) After she got up they colored, played with playdoh, etc. At some point she asked Drew to go for a walk. He said she walked all over the place. Up & down multiple streets - like she was a mission. And finally he said "Leah, why do you want to walk so far? Where are we going?" And she looked at him & said "Looking Mommy." and kept walking.

That just makes my heart ache. Ouch.

*****

This morning I was talking to her about Christmas because we were watching a Miracle on 34th street. I asked her "What do you want for Christmas?" And she said, "Christmas Tree!"

"Baby, we already have a tree. At Christmas mommy & daddy buy you some presents. Is there anything you want?"

She looks at me thoughtfully for a few seconds...

"PANTS!"

(me laughing) "You want pants?"

"Ya, mommy. Pants!"

Such a nut!

Happiness

All my life's happiness wrapped up right here...

Chatter

I guess this last month or so is what they call a "language explosion". I didn't really get that term until watching Leah go through it! She just says new things every day. It's one thing to read that they learn at least 10 words a day, it's another to watch them use them & know what they mean. It's crazy!

Right now she's play in the bathtub while conditioner is sitting in her hair. She has a bunch of water cups & she's saying "Come here, cup." as they float away, etc. She said "conditioner please, mommy" when I was doing her hair because she wanted some in her hand.

Light night at dinner she was eating spaghetti with meatballs & corn. She says to me "I want salt, please." What in the world? lol

Now she's saying "I done Mommy!" I was I didn't have to go rinse her hair. She hates it so much! Gotta be done though. Blech.

I love her chatter!!

Tyce's Shirt & Kisses

One more post for today should do it... ;)

In the previous 'cousin' post I wanted to make note of the shirt Leah is wearing. It does not belong to her! LOL When we went to Utah to visit Daisha & her son Tyce some how we managed to come home with Tyce's shirt in our laundry. So when I washed everything I discovered it. Leah's is OBSESSED with wearing this shirt. She walks around rubbing it and saying "Tyce's shirt" over & over again. It makes her very happy.

And then the kisses... Here is Leah & Tyce



PS - While I was writing this very post Drew is getting Leah dressed & finally in exasperation he comes to me & says "Why is she asking for TIES???" She wasn't. She was saying Tyce. She wanted the shirt again. I had to go get it out of the dryer for her!

Daisha - I swear I'm gonna send that back some day! LOL

Cousins

So this is Leah's cousin Elaina. Elaina is 8 months old than Leah. Apparently, cousins are the most fun thing EVER. And as they get older they have more & more fun together. This night they came over for dinner & some play time. Played with playdoh, the toys, ran all over the house, ate ice cream. It was great fun! (PS This is the same cousin she gets in trouble with. IE - the one I caught Leah playing in the toilet with!)

Playing with playdoh - and both randomly
announcing "I made it!!!" with great excitement!

SIL went to change the baby's diaper (Julia) and Elaina
said "me too!"so then Leah wanted hers changed too.
I stood on the couch to get a shot of them.

Then they had ice cream together...

Saying Cheeesseeee!

This one is really blurry but was just too funny not to share!
Of course, I think it's blurry because I was laughing so hard,
I was shaking!

Sleep Part 2

I perhaps didn't give the right impression about how that went. For the majority of it I was sitting on my side of the bed with my laptop absolutely ignoring her very existence. So while she's not in another room it's not like she getting all the attention in the world from me. LOL. Just a lot of "Lay back down, Leah". I can't just physically lay her back down because that's what she actually wants - me to physically engage her so that we can "play".

Anyway - I think I've figured out something! After talking to another friend whose son has dye allergies (much more severely than Leah's red dye issues). She asked me a few questions & one was about chocolate.

Well, Leah ate a ridiculous amount of hershey kisses yesterday. Daddy bought her a bag of them. She loves 'em.

Apparently, they way she acted last night was a classic reaction to a chocolate allergy.

Sigh. So no chocolate today, no red dye. And she went to sleep without a fight at all!

It was 9:45 but she napped from 1:30 - 3 so I was expecting that. Interrupted naps always do that.

Anyway - it isn't like this happens all the time. I was just going crazy after the last few days. Well, Daddy bought those hershey kisses last Friday! So this whole last week she's had them EVERY day! No wonder I was losing my mind!

Thanks for the advice though ladies!

Sleep Baby, Sleep.

Leah doesn't sleep much. At least not as much as other kids her age.

Sleep has never been a battle in our home. It's one of those things I don't choose to fight about. She's always just gone to sleep when she was tired. If she was acting horrid or anything I will tell her to lay down, etc but normally she doesn't. Once she's tired she just wants to snuggle & she goes to sleep.

But lately this is taking FOREVER. And it's getting worse not better.

Last night it took 2 hours & 40 minutes for her to fall asleep. So we got in our bed at 8 PM & she didn't finally go to sleep until 10:40.

And we did fight. I lost it after the 2 hour mark. I was sick of saying "lay down Leah" & the fact that she AT TWO has turned stalling into an ART FORM! You name it - she asked for it. "Potty more please mommy!" AHHHH I totally fell for that one. Since she's not potty trained & I don't want to tell her no about the potty. But I didn't last night after twice. She was even pulling her legs up & acting like she needed to poop. Then once she was on the potty she was all smiles and asking for wipes & toilet paper.

Finally I went & laid her in her own room, on her own bed & told her she had to stay there. I said either fall asleep there or get ready to go to sleep. She didn't cry or anything. After probably 10 minutes she must have decided I wasn't coming back because she started sobbing. So, then I went & got her. Put her in bed with me again & she went right to sleep.

Well, I don't want that to be how I get her to go to bed every night. I don't want it to be a battle!

Then she woke up twice in the next 2.5 hours having tantrums. The one at 1 AM.... I was sleeping by then of course & when she woke me up I think I was the maddest I have ever been at her.

It was not a night terror. She was fulling awake & having a massive tantrum. I told her to stop or she was going to her own bed. So she went to her own bed. When she stopped crying I went back in and she was just sitting. Reached for me saying "Mommy" and was back asleep within 2 minutes.

WHAT THE FREAK?

This morning she woke me at 7:30 and then SHE went back to sleep.

Give me a break, please. I need to sleep.

Seriously, I don't need that much sleep actually. 5/6 hours will do. But after last night a little extra would have been nice.

I normally don't mind her sleeping so little but I don't want to spend 2.5 hours putting her to bed either. I give up. She's never going to be an "asleep by _____" child. I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing until she wants to go to bed.

Maybe I shouldn't give her a nap during the day anymore?????

The thing is... naps are never a fight. She just gets tired, I say it's naptime, & she drifts off to sleep. No fight, nothin'. So why is night time such an ordeal?

I know she's tired. She gets bags under her eyes all the sudden when she's sleepy. But she's not sleepy ENOUGH.

Heaven help me.

Ideas, anyone???

Blog Roll

So when I found this particular template from pyzam.com (Thank you Leah! I love that site), I discovered after I applied it that it deleted my blogroll. Dang it!

I've spent some time recreating it but if you used to be there & you aren't anymore, leave me a comment so I can fix it.

Or if you want to be there & you never were you can tell me that too ;)

More Thanksgiving

I spent another day cooking yesterday. I think I'm satisfied the need to be cooking in the kitchen for awhile. I had great fun though. I did a turkey in the roaster (which I then sent to my dad's to be plugged in and let cook - as a funny tidbit - my stepsister & stepmother were completely freaked out & thought it was some cancerous turkey because it was spotted under the skin. Aye aye aye. I lifted the turkey skin & rubbed an herb/butter mixture all over the turkey underneath! I laughed pretty hard at them!), a chicken with the cornbread stuffing, mashed potatoes, candied yams (with apples, nuts, and tons of other stuff), jell-o with bananas (a kid request), fruit salad (heavy cream whipped with cinnamon & sugar - folded in fruit), a dual layer cheesecake/pumpkin pie, a dutch apple pie (frozen), and a chocolate pie. I'm forgetting things. Anyway...

it was a success! Everything went really well. I had fun with them. I don't fit there as much. I mean, they love me, we have fun when I'm there. But there's so much swearing & drinking going on at family things. Leah heard the F word more times in the first 10 minutes of my brother walking in than she has in her entire life. Actually, pretty sure she's never heard it. So annoying. There's just not reason for that. There's a lot of words in the English language. I'm not even totally opposed to a well placed F-word every now & then - by ADULTS among ADULTS. But give me a break. Anyway. That's my biggest complaint.

Which means all-in-all the evening went well! lol

Really, I laughed a lot, I ate too much food, & Leah had a blast with her cousins! And she slept like a rock!!

Thankful

Things I am most thankful for...

1. My daughter. Her chattering, her glowing eyes, her beautiful face, her kisses, her sense of humor, when she comes to me & says "snuggle", the sounds of her, her existence.

2. My husband. Today we have been married for 10 years. Some parts of our marriage have been a rough ride but I wouldn't trade it. I love this man. And he loves me so much. I forget sometimes. Or wonder why he loves me so much. Happy Anniversary to us! I love you, Drew.

3. Cooking. I love to cook. I spent all most the whole day in the kitchen today. Everyone keeps thanking me for doing so much. They have no idea how I love to be in the kitchen & make things that people will love. I have such issues! lol FOOD is LOVE! ;)

4. My friends. I have lots of friends. Some old, some newer, some live near me, some far, some I met online, some I've known since high school. They are all so wonderful & give me such a sense of support. I love how much I can learn from each one.

5. My family. Heaven love 'em. I really do. There's a lot of infighting & I get pretty irritated with them but I love 'em. Otherwise why would I care they are all fighting with each other? LOL

6. Self-cleaning ovens. That may sound silly but ming is cleaning itself right now & it makes me so happy.

7. My faith. I love my church. I love the sense of knowledge & peace it brings. I love my Savior & I'm so grateful.

8. ....

More later maybe. Drew has just come back in the room with a float made from an orange sherbet/vanilla ice cream mix & 7-Up. I must go enjoy that and be thankful for him some more.

I love him!

Templates

Excuse me & my ever changing look. I can't seem to decide on a template.

Apparently I need to take the time to make my own so I feel authentic ;)

I have issues.

Toddler Mommy Moments

Ya know what I was pondering on a few minutes ago?

"Why do all of Rabbit's relations all look so different than he does?"

You heard me. That's what I was thinking.

I've watched entirely too much Winnie the Poo today. Entirely too much.

Birthdays

In 54 minutes it will be Leah's 2nd birthday.

I am a bundle of conflicting emotions - none of which I have words for.

Why? If you have words please share them with me!

It's so exciting. She says new things everyday lately. It's so COOL. Today I asked her if she wanted oatmeal & hot chocolate for breakfast & she said "Hot chocolate only" I didn't know she understood the word ONLY.

Or a couple of days ago when she was just jumping on the bed & suddenly said "I wanna go to the store with Daddy." I about died!

Today we had to other new sentences, "I found it!" & "I see it!" when she was looking for something.

She amazes me everyday & this stage is so fun. And trying & difficult too! Especially since other favorites are "I do it" & "have it!" Although once a few days ago she said "Let me have it!" when we were in a store.

But there are things I miss too. Bottles. I held a baby yesterday & feed her the bottle. I loved the way she snuggled into me while she drank it. And my heart aches a little because Leah gave that up so early - it's be done by now anyway but I miss it all the same. I loved feeding her. She hasn't let me feed her since she was 11 months - whether with a fork or a bottle.

Luckily she's still a very snuggly kid! It's a good thing because her mommy loves it ;)

So conflicting. I don't wish for her babyhood back because I love this stage! But I miss the babyhood. Conflict, conflict.

Drafts

So I wrote that tagged post over some time & had saved it has a draft. When I went back to it this morning I noticed I had two other posts that were "drafts" that I never published!

Oops!

http://inmommyland.blogspot.com/2007/09/everything.html

http://inmommyland.blogspot.com/2007/09/today.html - I have NO idea what happened to me that day. Absolutely no recollection of why it was such a crappy day.

OH! And that early morning blog post? Holy cow the typos!! Whew.

Tagged

I've been tagged by Mandy from The Joys of Asha.

Rules: Once tagged, you must link to the person who tagged you. Then post the rules before your list, and list 8 random things about yourself. At the end of the post, you must tag and link to 8 other people, visit their sites, and leave a comment letting them know they’ve been tagged.
********
Okay. I don't know if there are 8 blogs left that I read! lol I will do my best.

8 random things about me... This is hard!

1. I've lived in lots & lots of places: Before I was 4: Wyoming, Idaho, Utah, California & Georgia. We lived in Georgia until I was 10 (2 towns). Missouri until almost 12. Then Oklahoma until 17 (one town - 2 houses). Then Massachusetts until I graduated (1.5 years). Then Idaho (college - a LOT of moves), Wyoming (again - 2 towns, got married), Washington, Wyoming (2 towns - 4 apartments/townhouses), Idaho (2 apartments, Wyoming (currently). And heaven help me, we're settled for now. Drew is in a long term career now! (1 year down, 29 to go)

2. I've always wanted to have 12 kids. I'll be 32 soon. I have one now... it's probably not going to happen. lol

3. I am now living in the town I was born in but I did not grow up here or ever attend school here. That's weird, ya? I'm an outsider who was born here.

4. I'm a Christmas Eve baby!

5. I love math. I mean LOVE it. When my BIL calls for help with his calculus homework last night? I got ALL excited! Woohoo! Hooray for Calculus!

6. I'm also a musical person. I love to sing. I love music. I actually started college as a double music/math major. However, the music department makes it impossible for you to do both. It ticked me off so I dropped it. They seem to have this "if you aren't dedicating your whole life to us than you don't really love music" attitude. It was maddening.

This is getting harder...

7. I'm so madly in love with my daughter. That's not really random but right now she's sleeping against me with her head on my hip. Some things about life are so good. This girl brings joy to everything!

8. I'm watching a cartoon movie right now even though Leah is asleep because I don't want to get up & change the movie. Hello? Lazy much, Camille?

Okay. I'm off to figure out if any blogs I read haven't been tagged yet!

Early Morning Bloggin'

It's only 7:26. I've been awake since 6 but I'm still in bed. Leah is here next to me. She keeps whimpering and crying in her sleep. I think it's her teeth. The most confirmation I can get is that she won't let me touch them. She's always been fine with me feeling her teeth before.

So Leah had 3 teeth as she turned one. Right after she got her 4th. Totally she got 13 teeth in 11 months. So she started out slow and then zoomed through them & is totally "caught up" with the charts. All that is left is her 2 year molars. After near constant teething I really though we were gonna get a break from it. That last eye tooth took 3 weeks to break through. It was miserable!

She's had a fever on & off, bowel issues, she won't let me touch her teeth, and she's whimpering in her sleep. So, even though I don't want it to be true... I kinda have to admit it seems like she's going to get these blasted 2 year molars.

At least we'll be done after that right? *weeping*

So I'm up because Drew always sends me a text message when he gets called for work. This morning he sent it at 5:59. I had the phone on vibrate but it was laying on wood so it woke me up. With Leah's intermittent whimpering/crying in her sleep I can't get back to sleep myself.

I don't know that I ever said on my blog but we got two kitties! We decided to name them Benny & Joon (know that movie?) The orange one is a boy (did you know it's rare to have an orange girl cat? Something about the orange color being on the male gene most of the time) & the other is a black/white tuxedo girl. They are from a wild litter of kittens. We got them from the shelter. There was a full-page ad in the paper about how over crowded the cat area was. So off we went! I'm still having to work with them to get them used to human contact. Leah LOVES them. They are set up in the bathroom for now & every time we go in there Leah comes running so she can pet them. She's very gentle & it's so sweet to watch.

Sadly, Benny is sick now. I don't know if Joon will catch. Likely she will because it's "the cat cold". It's highly contagious. In an older established cat it's not a big deal but in this itty bitty kitties it's more worrisome.

Did you know a cat won't eat when they can't smell? Can you imagine when you got a cold & your nose was stuffed up if you just had to stop eating & drinking?

They are too tiny to not be eating and drinking. I've this cat cold in my house before. I had another shelter cat that came with it. Sigh. I had to feed her with a syringe to force it down her. We had taken her to the vet in Boise & she said to prepare ourselves but she wasn't going to live. Well, whatever! I nursed her through it. The other cat we had at the time got it too but she was older and while she lost a little weight was perfectly fine.

Benny's poor eye is all swollen too (the cold gets in their eyes). :(

Well, that's my early morning ramblings. I want to get up & move around but since Leah keeps crying in her sleep I feel stuck here!

Because I Said So...

I was just watching this movie (which I rented).

There's a line where a guy says...

"I love that when I breathe you in you smell like cake batter."

I love it. Love that line!

Bravery

My daughter was so brave today!

We went for a walk & there's an elementary park up the street with a park. I rarely walk that direction because it ends so soon it makes for a short walk but since it was so chilly (57 - it was 36 when I got up this morning & the wind chill was 24!)I decided to take a right and head that way. We were walking and Leah was pushing her little stroller packed with one of her dolls & her Elmo.

Anyway, about two blocks from the park she sees it, ditches the stroller, and just starts running down the side walk!

I guess first you need to know - Leah doesn't like parks. Every time I take her to one she sort of walks around and touches stuff and plays with it. However, she won't play on anything and any attempt to encourage her is might with clingy & fear.

But not today!

So we got over to the park & she kind of stands there checking everything out. It's a big park - several groups of swings, a smaller wooden climbing/slide/swing thing, and then a really big metal play thing with four slides coming off of it and lots of other climbing stuff.

So she says "Slide!" and heads over there. I'm thinking "Ya, right."

So I helped her up there & she stands there for a minute with this look I wish I could describe. The only thing that comes close is just grim determination. She was going down that slide no matter what. So I offered her my hand & down she went. "Again!" she says. (Meanwhile tons of praise for bravery from me!!) This time she didn't want me to touch her and she went down yelling "WHEEEEEE!" And then she did it a bazillion times. It was so amazing to watch her just decide to do it. She was totally scared at first & then she did it anyway! SO brave!

Then she walked across a bridge. It was railed on the sides but loosely and at least a foot over my head. She stood at the head of it for a long time before going through. Same look of grim determination. I went up there and walked back & forth across it so she saw it was safe. Then I stood underneath & stuck my fingers through the bottom which she thought was hysterical. lol

So today is the day of bravery!

Leah is so brave!

Toddler Trouble.

Leah - just this MOMENT - figured out how to open and shut doors. She's never been tall enough & just hadn't gotten it yet.

So she plays this game where she goes in & out of the closet but she never actually shuts the door all the way (it's a walk-in closet). But just now she shut the door all the way & I though "uh oh". But after a few seconds she came out & said "HEY!" and went back in.

Now she's done it about 10 times.

Great. Just great.

I WILL NOT celebrate this milestone.

And yesterday she got in her first "I'm in trouble with a friend" trouble. Her cousin (8 months older) was here (and SIL & 2 month baby girl).

They were playing with toys in Leah's room & suddenly I realized their voices were coming from the wrong side of the hall....
I run upstairs & they are in the bathroom - so far so good -

NO!

Leah has on no pants & no diaper. Elaina has on no pants & is working on her diaper. Leah's bath toys are in the TOILET and they are both wet.

That's right. You heard me. They were playing with Leah's bath toys in the toilet and laughing HYSTERICALLY.

And though I scolded them (and washed their arms up to the shoulders lol).

I gotta tell the truth - it warmed my heart & soul to stand there while my daughter got in actual mischief with another child for the first time LOLOL

BUT

Two toddler minds are NOT better than one.

Alas - Mommyland is as wonderful as ever. I sure do love this kid!

Leah's Name

I was reading some threads at forums today that had me thinking about Leah's name & I thought I'd share how we chose it.

First, I've been picking out children's names since I was in high school. On my list of girl names was always Leah. My sister's name is Leah Marie & I adore her ;)

One day when I was talking to D on the phone before Leah was born I asked her if she had named the baby. She said & I quote "I have but it doesn't matter. This is your baby & you should name her." I kept telling her I wanted to incorporate the name or something, etc. Finally I had to agree that I would name her whatever I wanted & not take it into consideration before she would tell me. She was hysterical about it but I was sad.

Anyway - FINALLY I convinced her & she said "Leah Maria". I about fainted. Cautiously, I asked how she'd chosen that name & she said "One night I was laying in bed & she was kicking me & I just said 'Leah Maria - knock that off!' It just came out like that."

I said, "D, that is my sister's name!" We were both just quiet for awhile.

I mean REALLY. What are the chances? She didn't look in baby name books, she didn't even think about it. She just called her a name I had on my list of 4 names. My SISTER'S name?

Anyway. I decided to actually just do Marie because I didn't like them both ending in the same sound. lol

I know in the online adoption world it is not PC to say that anything about adoption was "meant to be".

But even when D & I talked about it later we talked about how we felt this charge & sense of... I don't know.

So there you have it. And certainly - at the very least - it felt like Leah's name was MEANT TO BE!

*****

September 6, 2009
Adoption Round Table #6

Today

Today has been one of "those" days. It's been a dang crappy day!

Dear Mr. President...

I like this song. Not just for Bush though - all politicians. Why do they all seem to forget about "real" life?

My Husband

I just want to announce to the world today...

I LOVE My Husband.

He's so fantastic. He works so hard. He loves me. LOVES me. I love that he takes such joy from being in our family. He loves Leah so much & enjoys her!

When he's home from work he changes all the diapers. He feeds her breakfast & gives me mommy time. (I am supposed to be doing homework right now because he's out playing with Leah hehe)

I just think he's amazing & I think I'm a lucky woman.

This morning I was reading at a forum (not mine) where some people were complaining about how unhelpful there husband's are. And some of these husbands were demanding that their wives go back to work full-time & saying things like "I want to be able to go on nice vacations and stuff!"

I mean it's one thing if you NEED the money, of course! Or just if it is the woman's CHOICE to work. But if the whole reason for having a job is so you can take fancy vacations & buy lots of toys... Well, that just doesn't fit on my priority list.

We live fine on just his income. But if I went to work I could probably double what we are living off of. We've have a huge home & lots of toys. But it isn't where I find happiness & satisfaction.

And I am just SO grateful that my husband & I have similar priorities & ideas about what we want. And that he relies so heavily on my mothering instincts.

For instance, yesterday we had a discussion about the pacifier. He's tired of it. He wishes she didn't have it anymore. But after we talked & I expressed that I just KNOW she isn't ready to give it up yet - he immediately said okay! He trusts me & I love that. We talked about it for like 1/2 an hour but in the end he just trusted me.

And yesterday when we were on the phone while he was out of town, I told him I was tired & didn't want to cook dinner. He got on the phone & ordered me a pizza! He paid for it over the phone so all I had to do was answer the door & get the pizza.

How fun is it that he made me dinner while he was out of town??? LOL

I love him!

No Hallie

We've decided not to get Hallie. Well, the pug, I'm guessing Hallie won't end up being her name.

For a lot of reasons but mostly I'm just sad.

:(

Adopting Again...

So now that the house is bought & we are moved. We've decided that next Jan/Feb we are going to get started doing our homestudy. Leah will be 2 in just 2 months (wow!) and if it takes about a year she'll be 3. I think that's a good time span. Of course if it takes a million years... We'll deal with it! And the other way around too I suppose. If it happens quickly - 2 years is an okay gap too. lol

I have a lot of conflicting feelings about doing all of this again. There's so much scariness. (Is that a word?)

The situation with Leah was almost a foster care situation. She was almost 40 & had been told by the state that either she found parents for her coming child or they would. So here we are. We did an independent domestic adoption but it only sort of was. The CYS office in PA had to have copies of our paperwork, etc. So we had to satisfy the foster care people too.

Anyway, I don't fee like we swooped in a took a baby from some young expectant mother's child - and she's going to spend the rest of her life regretting the decision. I would be absolutely tortured by that knowledge. I don't know what I would do. I just can't stomach the idea. I have such issues with absorbing other people's emotions. So how to I keep that from happening to us? I do I keep from doing that to someone?

And I don't trust this industry to keep all this from happening obviously.

But I feel driven to do at least one more adoption. I want another baby & I really feel like Leah deserves a sibling - most especially another biracial family member. I want that for her. I'd love if it was a girl (although we won't specify). I so love having a sister - my relationship with her is such a special part of my life. I want Leah (named after that wonderful sister) to have that too.

Anyway. I'm worried. If I lived in a more diversely populated state I would try the foster care route. But it could take a looonnnnggg time. There are not a lot of AA or AA/CC children in foster care here!

And then there's the other thing. I live in this sparsely populated state. It's not like there are adoption attorneys & agencies swarming Wyoming! I can use the church's agency (LDSFS) but that didn't work out so well before. I can use the Catholic Charities (or Services... I forget what they are called) - they don't care what religion you are as long as you have A religion & can get a letter from someone showing it. I emailed with the director a few months ago & asked her some questions. She did say that mostly have CC babies because - well, this is WY. But they can network with other offices around the country, etc. LDSFS is the same way.

There is one Quad A attorney 120 miles from here. We can use him but he doesn't match prospective parents & expectant women. He just does the legal stuff afterwards. I talked to him on the phone also. Very very nice guy. He gave me some references. He said he has done legal stuff for one woman who lives about 40 miles from here. She has done several transracial adoptions. I haven't called her yet though.

I also asked him for recommendations about homestudies. He gave me several numbers but he said he'd recommend calling the woman at the Wyoming ICPC office & he gave me her number. I haven't made that call yet either.

I'm in such a quandary. What are the chances of finding a situation like our first? Where I know for certain we aren't all going to be tortured later? D (leah's fmom) - we still talk on the phone every couple of weeks, etc. I like being able to know where she is & keep in touch with her for Leah. I know she loves her. She's such a sweet woman. She just came from a really hard life & hasn't been able to mother her children (Leah is her fifth).

Ugh.

Tell me this is going to be easy. Tell me I don't have to worry so hard.

ha ha. Can't, huh?

Summer Fun

Everything

Well, in good news - we are totally moved out of the old place. On Monday we'll give the apt manager the keys.

Let me just say - I hated living there. I cried when we moved in. It was quite literally the only place we could find to live. We lived with DH's parents for a month as it is. There was just no where to live - nowhere to rent and about 5 houses for sale in the whole town. Right now there is still nowhere to rent hardly and about 120 houses on the market. It's amazing what a year can do!

Anyway. I hated it. I hated it so much it's hard to even talk about. But I never have to go back there again. I'd rather go back and live in the one bedroom basement apartment we had in 1997! lol. Of course, as newlyweds that was the happiest place ever. ;)

_____

I'm really enjoying getting to plan doing things to this place. I can't believe we finally bought a home. When we decided to adopt we knew we were making the choice between buying a home & adopting. It just wasn't possible to do both back then. But now we've done it. It's so great!

And now I'm wanting another baby... The feeling started out slowly a couple of months ago. But lately I think about it almost everyday. I'm hoping that after the first of the year we can start in earnest to start up again. And then hopefully by the end of next year adopt again. Leah will be 3 at the end of next year. I think that's a good distance apart but not TOO far apart, kwim?

_____

Which brings me to last night. D (leah's fmom) called last night. I had called her a few days ago so I could give her our new address. It's always good to talk to her but sometimes the conversation is a struggle. We just don't have a lot in common besides Leah. Sometimes D is interested in hearing and sometimes she isn't. She loves that Leah is starting to talk on the phone though. Leah talked to her last night with my new bluetooth thing on her ear. It was adorable. She said hi & how are you & answered her with "good" when D asked, love you, and then Bye bye! I could tell D was excited about that.

This is such an awkward situation sometimes. It wasn't what I ever pictured an adoption being like. Mostly because I wanted an open adoption but partly because this wasn't just a normal "domestic infant adoption". D had four children removed from her care before Leah. When CYS in PA found out she was pg again (when she went in for services) they told her she had to find adoptive parents herself or they would remove the baby at birth & do it for her. I don't know why the previous children were removed - the only thing she ever said was "for stupid reasons". The oldest lives with his father & won't speak to her, the middle two were adopted, the fourth lives with her brother and she still gets to talk to her quite a bit. Although just recently she moved to the same town her other dd is in. I asked last night if she's getting to see her a lot now & she said "Well, she's in school now." I don't know what that means. And I shouldn't be judgmental about it should? I'm so rude. Sigh.

I guess I look at it as seeing how she might deal with Leah in the future. She doesn't remember her birthday. :(

Hallie is growing!

4 weeks & 2 days!

Is she adorable or what????

OH! But don't forget to feed my new pet Spike. He gets hungry just waiting around on my blog! (Click the "more" button & then the strawberry. Click by his mouth several times & he will eat it!) Also don't forget to just mess around with him and click on him - at least 3 times - he does fun tricks. :)

House

Thanks for the advice about my family! (Well, except my sister - my one sane relative - who suggested I move to FLORIDA. YUCK! Can we say humid? Ew.) I'm feeling okay about it now - my family.

Mostly because we moved yesterday & I'm very excited that we are home owners now! Woohoo!

I can't wait to paint stuff!

I had told my dear husband that as long as they stuck the furniture in the rooms it goes in they could just stick everything else in the garage. Somehow that meant that the couches are in the living room, our bed is in our room... and EVERYTHING else is in the garage. Aye, aye, aye. It doesn't really hurt me but it's gonna be like moving twice for him! lol - It was a little short-sighted but the poor guy worked so hard yesterday I couldn't even feel irritated with him.

He's gotta go to work this morning. Then we'll be getting the rest of the things from our old place. There's just two storage closets that still need emptied and a few odds & ends - oh & all 3 TVs. I don't know why all those men didn't want to bring the TVs over here! lol Not that it matters, they work over there. They aren't gonna work over here because I haven't even called to set a date to have it hooked up yet!

... gotta go unpack something...

Sad Today

I'm so sad today.

Today I am mourning my extended family, I guess. They can't behave. They can't treat each other with kindness, consideration, and a little leeway.

I tried to tell my brother. Your family is your family. You take the good with the bad BUT if everyone remembers that we are family no matter what you just work it out...

He doesn't think so. They all seem to think that you just cut the ones who irritate you from your life. :(

I am just feeling mournful. I can't give me daughter a loving extended family who will support her no matter what.

And I'm worried that she'll learn this lesson from them.

How do I teach her that you don't reject your family just for irritating you?

I'm telling nothing earth shattering as happened. Have these people NO perspective at all?

I feel like my family is part of who I am. They ARE part of who I am. For years I've been the only one who is talking to everybody. There's always people who aren't talking to each other. Except last night my brother called me - I'm fairly certain he was drunk. If he wasn't drunk than he's just crazy & needs major help. I didn't get most of what he said for a full 25 minutes. He was so erratic a lot of it didn't make any sense.

Must people behave so childishly?

I'm just heartbroken. I just feel like I can't deal with this.

It was my husband's heart's desire to move back to this town. I feel like I've landed in hell.

...and we're closing on the house on Wednesday. I'm gonna be here awhile I guess...

Hallie is mine!

I see from Kathy's comment & looking back at my posts that I never actually announced that I made a deposit on Hallie! She IS mine. I put down a nonrefundable to deposit on her!! lol

I can't wait!!!!

Puppy Update

(It says Maggie because Maggie is her mommy's name.)

Vocabulary Test

Your Vocabulary Score: B

You have a zealous love for the English language, and many find your vocabulary edifying. Don't fret that you didn't get every word right, your vocabulary can be easily ameliorated!

How's Your Vocabulary?

Which Super Villain are you?

Which Super Villain are you?

This is a fun quiz!


Your results:

You are Mystique

Sometimes motherly,
sometimes a beautiful
companion, but most
of the time a deceiving
vixen.



Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test


I love that I'm Mystique - How fun is that??

If you take it leave me a comment so I know what you are too! :)

Adoption Forums

I have a couple of things in the adoption forum world that just drive me BONKERS.

1. There is a wide range of feelings about adoption in general - as with any topic really. What makes me crazy is the "get rid of all adoption" people who are telling the "adoption is sunshine & roses people" that they are only seeing one side of the story & vice versa. UGH.

They are BOTH close-minded, pig-headed ... well, you get the idea. And I am sick to death of reading any of it and listening to them try to convince each other that they are idiots. It's like watching two groups of people - each group on either side of brick wall - just banging and banging.

How in the world does anyone expect to change anything like that?

You don't convince people to see your point of view with sarcasm & insults.

2. Another thing that makes me nuts - see the same "get rid of all adoption" people not noticing which adoptive parents they are talking too. I mostly stay out of it but it isn't that hard to remember which aparents are for reform & which ones are not. Stop yelling at the ones who want reform! It's a freaking waste of time.

Most of all I'm just sick of people who are only at the adoption forums to PREACH. There are things to learn from EVERYONE. You may not agree with them but there are still things to learn.

So here's my NOT SO HUMBLE OPINION AT THE MOMENT:

If you are only at a forum to preach & scream YOUR view point & YOUR opinion, go away & shut up.

You can offer your view point & opinion when you are willing to LISTEN also.

It's really just an adult thing to do. Although, the older I get the more I realize that many people just never grow up.

See how I don't feel so nice right now?

Eyes Open!

Do you think she wanted to have that picture taken? LOL

Growing Puppy!

Introducing Hallie!

So I really messed up with that woman's first message! It is NORTH Dakota not South & the cost of the puppy includes getting it to her. So I just have to drive 4 hours to get the puppy. Not too bad :) I'm willing. I made my deposit this morning & picked this puppy (girl).

It's a bit hard to pick from pictures where they are one day old. My mom was the only one who actually voted for a particular dog so I went with it!

Now that I've picked one they are going to take a bunch of pictures of her & send them to me! I promise to post.

Puppies

Hey! The puppy people left me a message - I guess the pups are NOT in Wyoming - they are in South Dakota. Apparently she's just got the pugs on her boxer site to be helpful or something. I need to call her back & find out what that means for the cost. They didn't mention shipping costs on the site anywhere...

Anyway - here's some of the pictures so you don't have to go to the link!

If I don't get these ones I WILL find a pug puppy! :)



Deanna - I'm leaning towards a girl!!

What do you think of the name Hallie?

Houses & Puppies

Pep - Thanks for checking on me! Hugs!

We decided not to buy that last house. We have the financing but something was really shady about that guy selling the house. It just started to really not feel right & we decided to listen to our instincts. It still makes me sad but what can ya do? lol

We've looked at tons of things since then. The current deal is "What I can afford, I don't want. What I want, I can't afford!" LOL It's not really quite that bad but it's taken me some time to convince Drew that we don't have to buy the house we are going to die in for our first home! Most people don't.

I also learned something funny about him during all of this. I've always known he was impulsive about some things (I love that about him!) but he is so funny during house hunting! Whatever house we are standing in... THAT is his favorite house ever! By about the 5th house the real estate agent & I were hysterical about it! Every time it was "Forget the others - I love THIS one!" Soooo funny.

At any rate, after all this looking we are finally back to what I wanted to do in the very beginning. There is a town house for sale in the nicest neighborhood in town... no - it's the 2nd nicest I guess but I like it better than the one with even bigger houses. Anyway, it's a nice neighborhood with a bank of 5 townhouses right in the middle of it. The cost is quite a bit less than our budget and just barely more than we are paying in rent right now! When I brought it up in the beginning Drew said, "no way" - but now suddenly he thinks it's a great idea!

So we made an offer today & we should hear back tomorrow. I think it will be accepted. It was a good offer. I wish we would have heard back today but I guess that was too much to hope for! It's a relocation company that is selling it.

Anyway - It's got 3 bedrooms, a bathroom, and a the laundry room on the upper floor. I LOVE that the laundry room is upstairs with the bedrooms! That rocks.

The main floor is the kitchen, dining and a small living room. Off the dining area is a sliding glass door to the deck & the fenced in backyard. Also in the dining area is two doors - one to the one car garage and one to the basement that is finished. There is a family room down there & a storage closet. The realtor was telling me that several people have put a 2nd bathroom into the storage closet as we were opening the door & sure enough... two walls are framed up & you can see on the floor where someone had drawn the plan for what they wanted. I thought that was funny. After we get moved in I'll have my brother do an estimate for what it would cost to have at least a 1/2 bath put in down there. It is a bit annoying that you have to go up 2 flights of stairs to go to the bathroom. I don't know how that is going to work with potty training! yikes. - at least her little potty can go anywhere!

I'm excited about it. It's more a lateral move from where we are now but an easy move into home ownership. And it being so much expensive is a nice bonus.

In other news, I've decided today I want to finally get a dog! I have settled an a Chinese pug. I found a breeder who is only 4 hours from here so I don't have to have the dog shipped! I looked for a long time all over online to try to find one in Wyoming. Then I discovered they had a new litter YESTERDAY!

http://wyboxers.com/maggie.aspx - you can see pictures of them here. It would be good timing if I can get one from this litter. They puppy will be ready about a month after we've moved. Just right! After we here for sure about the house, I will contact them & make a deposit.

Today I said to Leah, "Do you want a puppy?" She started yelling PUPPY! PUPPY! and ran for the front door. I'm taking that as a "YES!" lol

She's been amazing lately. She wears me about but I am constantly fascinated by her. Today I was changing her diaper & she stood up, smacked her own butt, and said "My butt!"

What the heck???

LOLOL

I love that kid!

Should I get a boy or a girl puppy?? Pros? Cons?

Neglect

My poor blog is getting sadly neglected, eh?

I haven't been reading any blogs either.

I offer only that I started grad school a month ago. lol Between that and the fact that Leah has crossed some sort of threshold of toddlerhood. Aye aye aye. She is testing every limit and pushing and pushing. I know how important it is to keep setting them right but it has me exhausted at the end of the day. I'm so tired of saying, "No, Leah." Always followed by "Leah! I said NO." Because whenever I say no she has decided to do whatever it is harder and faster.

It's a good thing she's so dang cute ;)

Anyway - we're alive and well. Just really busy.

We've found a house we want to buy. I'm annoyed at how long the process is taking. It was incredibly difficult to get Drew's employment & income verified. The lender & Drew couldn't figure out. So I finally sat down at his employers website & within minutes figured it out. I should have done that TWO WEEKS ago. ugh.

Anyway, hopefully we'll here this week!

It needs a lot of work but it's a craftsman style house inside & everything I wanted - well, except for the kitchen. Which sucks but we'll work on it! lol It has hardwood floors all through and i want to refinish them.

Pictures!

Just having a fun picture day...

Smile for mommy!

Helping daddy do the dishes. She did this of her own accord.
Pulled the stool over there and got up on it. lol

Nana's front porch...

So cute!
18 months old this day...

Walkin' down by the river...
She LOVES onion rings!
Funny mood LOL
She loves ice (& her cousin!)
Throwing ice off the porch & laughing like a maniac.

That's a lot of pictures. Sometimes a mommy just can't make choices!

Long day

Today was long. Leah woke up at 6. I had to speak in church today - I spoke about doing service in the community & being active in politics - and I was up until midnight preparing. She napped from 10 to 11:30. And then just fell asleep again about 30 minutes ago. I don't know what it means that she was asleep before 6:30 pm... ugh. But I had to let her. She was sitting on my lap & I literally had to catch her from falling over because she basically just passed out all the sudden. Poor kid. Sundays are rough because church is at 12:30 and normally she would be asleep at that time. We got home about a quarter to four. I made hamburgers (mixed hamburger & italian sausage actually - very good!), made a cheese sauce, did french fries in my deep fryer - curly fries, etc. I made lots extra because my SIL said she would probably come over for dinner and then she didn't come. oh well!

But now Leah's sleeping, Drew is doing that dishes and I came to share some pictures of my gorgeous girl!

but alas... she has woken up again. I'll have to come back and do it later!

Ugh!!

Religious Stuff

So I'm a religious person. It's not something I talk about a lot online... I think mostly because it's something that is sacred & precious to me. I don't normally throw my beliefs out into the world to listen to them debated. Especially since LDS (mormon) - which I am - have I mentioned that on here? - anyway... especially since LDS beliefs are so often bashed on anyway.

It's been a few years since there was a major moment where I had to deal with that. I think that last time was in college when there was a guy with a HUGE (like 8/9 feet tall) sign walking around campus and written all over it was all the people he through were going to hell - every sin you can think of written all over it. And then across the bottom in letters 3x as big as every thing "AND ALL MORMONS!"

It's an odd thing to be walking to class & be reminded there are people who hate you for your very existence. It's not like I don't KNOW that but nonetheless - it sort of smacks you in the face all the sudden.

I know my religious history but it just seems like in this day & age it shouldn't such an issue. Naive of me though - it was legal to KILL Mormons in Missouri until 1975. I was BORN in 1975. There were massacres, many many people were tarred & feathered, etc. It's just crazy.

Anyway!

I've been reading my scriptures every night before bed. It's a goal I always have but I'm not successful much LOL. Routines are not my strong point! But I've been really good lately. Especially since I got my PDA. I have them all on there and I can read wherever I am! I love it.

PS When I say "scriptures" - in the LDS world - the means Bible (Old & New Testament - King James version), Book of Mormon (similar to the Bible but about what happened in the Americas), Doctrine & Covenants - mostly church history & current revelation, & the Pearl of Great Price - which includes the books of Moses & Abraham.

So I'm reading in the book of mormon & the first book is called "Nephi" pronounced knee-fi...

and I've been writing so much background here I have forgotten what I was going to write about Nephi. I'm not even kidding.

I'm losing my mind!

Well, okay. I'll switch tracks. Maybe it will come to me later... Sigh.

Grace - a few months back I said I was going to write a post about grace because I'd seen it mentioned on another forum & I was ANNOYED.

This is a topic I've spent a lot of time studying and so many people just scrape the surface. I don't BY ANY MEANS completely understand the depths of this topic though. lol

Here's the thing - among the Christian religions - there seem to be two camps. Those that say "You are saved!" and then that's it. You are required to do nothing at all. You're just saved.

And then the other camp that says you are only saved IF you done all you can do. You've done all the work and then when you couldn't work anymore - Christ finishes the rest.

I don't think either thing is totally true (not that there are really just two camps - what I've discovered in my research is that there is a third).

Yes - Christ giving his life for us is a gift. It is a freely given gift that requires no works on our parts. I firmly believe that.

HOWEVER, I think in TRUE acceptance of that gift you do the works. You do what Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ would have you do. The works come AFTER you accept the gift NOT before.

I've often heard several analogies that I think have it all wrong. For instance, you are running a race or marathon & you run has hard and as fast as you can. You wear yourself out until you have nothing left. Then at this point Christ picks up the slack and finishes the race.

Or you have a bank account and when you've used up everything you have then Christ makes up the rest

etc etc etc.

When I first started researching this topic I thought to myself "Why do we pray then?" I mean - really. If I'm all alone until I've totally used myself up... then why am I praying everyday? If I don't get any help until I've collapsed?

I think that's the inherit flaw in these analogies.

Christ & his saving grace & the atonement are NOT just there when we have failed. He is there at EVERY moment, every turn, every bend in the road, every struggle, every trail. When he died for us and he took upon the sins of the world - he didn't just take up on our sins! He took on every emotion, every sadness, every trial, every single moment. So when the scriptures teach that Christ knows YOU specifically. It's because He does. He KNOWS you. Every single sorrow.

And His grace IS for everyone. He stands offering that gift - requiring nothing in response - but as we accept that gift and apply to our lives, we will do the good works and help further His causes in this world because when you are living a Christ-centered life you notice that people who need your help more, you notice the little things that need done. That neighbor needs her porch shoveled, those people need dinner one night to ease their burdens for a day, etc.

**PS I'm sorry if this is disjointed. I've been writing on & off for more than an hour because I'm taking care of Leah too. lol But now she's finally asleep! woohoo!

There's lots of scriptural references for all of this. I'm entirely too lazy to put them on in there for right now. And since it's been about 2 hours since I started this. I'm tired of writing!

I just want to say: I know my Savior loves me. I know He knows me. I know He cries when I cry, aches for my sorrows, rejoices with me, and celebrates my triumphs. And I know that when I pray and ask for help, He helps. That is the point in praying everyday.

And I'm very sorry about all the typos in this but I'm tired now. Feel free to ask me questions about anything you read. I'm happy to answer. hehe. Sorry if it doesn't make sense!

Everything!

I'm just starting to type this post and my dear daughter is waking up! She's only been asleep 45 minutes. This will NOT do. I'll be back....

Okay.

I haven't posted in forever. Let's see. First

Leah - She is talking like crazy. I swear she says about 5 new words a day. Yesterday said said cheese & please & other stuff I can't remember. lol. Sunday she said grandpa & house before we were even out of bed. It's sooo fun to hear her little voice. I just love it.

_____

Leah & I went to Utah for a week. We visited a forum friend and her son (who is only 5.5 weeks younger than Leah). The kids played together soooo well! It was great fun. He taught Leah how to go downstairs. I've showed her so many times but apparently she needed to see another kid do it. We went to a place called "The treehouse museum" It made me want to live near a city. It was a kids imaginary play place. There were sooo many activities in there and it was a blast.

http://www.treehousemuseum.org - check it out!

And then the next day we went to the Hogle Zoo. That was a great time. It was amazing to watch Leah's intelligent eyes scanning a tree for an animal and then pointing and jabbering when she'd spot it. I love seeing the world through her.

Then we went south of SLC and visited one of my friends from high school. She has a 3.5 year old & a 5.5 month old. It was a wonderful visit. We have known each other so long & have crazily similar parenting styles (attachment parenting) and it's so nice to just BE with her. I love that about our friendship.

I also met her friend Melissa who I've wanted to meet forever. She has a site at www.rawmelissa.com - she's a raw foods chef. If you live in Utah you should check out her classes & her services!

And this morning I got an email from Melissa and she knows one of my roommates from college!! How crazy is that? Sometimes the world seems like a very little place.

___

I'm doing a Thai cooking class tonight. I've been prepping all morning. We are having spring rolls, corn pancakes, red curry chicken, & coconut ice cream. The spring roll mixture is made, the coconut ice cream is setting in the freezer (when it's partially frozen I have to put it back in the food processor to get a good texture). I have chopped most everything for the corn pancakes - including husking the corn and removing it from the cob! I need to chop veggies & chicken for the curry dish. It's not 'til 7 tonight but I think I'm gonna have to head over there about 6. It's going to take me awhile to get it all in the car by myself with Leah. (Drew is at work.)
___

I think that's pretty much it. OH! A woman whose parents live her (and she grew up here) just had quadruplets! They are going to be staying here with her parents for a little while so we are taking them some meals. I signed up for the main dish for Wednesday. I bought them a ham. I have to cook that tomorrow. I couldn't decided what else to do for 6 adults and 4 kids. Full house! They are the nicest people. The babies got released after only TEN days!! She did amazing amazing amazing!
____

Crazy story!

Last Friday we got home from the grocery store and there is this cat laying on the front porch (not anything special - happens a lot around here). But this cat looked kind of lifeless. So I go pet the kitty who just lays there and I start checking it out. The cat has a kitty cold & some kind of skin infection & is SOO skinny. It's eyes were swollen & mucous filled. Poor kitty!

FYI - if a cat can't smell, it won't eat. This is why cat colds are dangerous for cats. They get all stuffed up and won't even drink water because they can't smell it. So a cat can die from dehydration while they just have a cold.

So this cat also had lost a lot of hair on it's body (not head & tail) because of the skin issue. I could tell it was someone's pet but it was in BAD shape. Some kind of Persian cat too. (smooshed in face)

So I tell Drew "this cat is NOT going to die on my front porch". I can't deal with that. I am a CAT LOVER! So I go to put Leah down for a nap & Drew took the cat to the vet's.

He went in without the cat & told them the situation. They say "Go to the shelter". He goes to the shelter and it's closed so he calls me. I tell him "go back to the vet & make them help you!" So he goes back to the vet (still without the cat - it's in the car) and talks to the secretary again. She tries calling the police to see if they know where the animal cop is. In the meantime, he finally goes and gets the cat and brings it inside so they can see it. And then, of course, the woman is all "ahhhhhhhh" - because this cat is obviously so sick. She says they'll take it and Drew tells her we are willing to pay for the cats care just please call us if they think it needs put to sleep because we'll take it home. (I had another cat a vet wanted to do that with that had a cat cold and I nursed that cat back to health!) So they have our info & he leaves....

Before he's even home all the way she calls him again...

because....

IT'S THE VET'S CAT!!!!

It ran away 10 days ago & they thought it was gone for good! They were so excited. And I was so excited knowing that cat was for sure going to get the best care. :-)

What are the chances? not just that we had the vet's cat but that the cat crawled onto the porch of someone who would care enough to do something about it??

Happy crazy ending!

I hear Leah stirring again. I hate teething. She can't seem to sleep solid. Ugh.

Bye! :-)

A Parent's Love

Today's thought:

It's a GOOD thing that we don't understand how much our parent's love us until after we have children.

Think for a moment how much you love your child(ren)...

Imagine if you really understood how your parents felt about you at 5, 10, 15. Can you fathom the pressure you would have felt to please your parents?

I want Leah to know that I love her beyond measure but I don't want her to really really KNOW until she has children of her own.

I love that little girl!

PS - Thanks for the compliments on her picture! :-)

Extra PS - It is SNOWING outside right now. Aye Aye Aye.

Gorgeous Girl

I took this picture about 30 minutes ago. I think it is my most favorite picture ever!

Empaths

So this stems from last night's Amazing Race but I'll get to that in a minute.

Before my maternal grandmother died (all my grandparents have died so I have to specify) she was on dialysis. At one point mom & I took her to her appointment & we were sitting in the place waiting - just in the waiting room after they got her all set up.

Now, you have to know about me that I'm an emotionally driven person. It effects every choice I make. My emotions ARE me.

The other thing is I absorb other people's emotions. I don't actually believe in magical powers - but as my sister said to me before - if there really is such a thing as an empath - you ARE one. It has taken me a long time to learn to separate my own emotions from the people around me. I'm good at it now & it isn't such an issue but.... well, it just used to be.

Anyway - I'm sitting in this dialysis center and just feeling like I can't BREATHE. It was literally like all the saddness & emotion of that place with sitting on my chest. I had to go outside and sit in the grass to wait for my mother. (Grandma stayed there for four hours - we went back later to get her.)

So last night I'm watching the amazing race & they go to Aushowitz - the concentrate camp from world war II. I would seriously not have been able to do that & then just shake it off and keep doing the race. I think more likely I'd have been catatonic from the death & sadness that I'm sure is just dripping from every part of the earth & buildings that are left.

I was crying just watching. More emotional than the contestants were! For sure, they seemed to all feel it. I just don't think I would have been able to shake it off so well.

I don't know what that means. Just an observation :-) If I ever get to go there it will have to be the only thing I do that day & then back to bed!

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow

Well. That last post wasn't particularly coherent was it? LOL

It's been snowing here for days. I thought I'd post some pictures I posted on my forum. This was the progression over 24 hours of the snow. Since then we've gotten a couple more inches but not much. It think the storm has finally moved on.

6:45 AM

Middle of the day...

The next morning...

That was yesterday (the last picture). It's pretty dang cold now. When I got up it was -1. The low today was supposed to be 23. LOL - Apparently not. We've gotten up to 15. It's hard to imagine that 4 days ago it was 62.

I guess we apparently need the moisture pretty badly so I suppose I shouldn't complain but I'm really annoyed that I had to turn the heat back on!

Crappy Day & Leah's Cute Hair

I'm having a crappy day.

I want another baby. I don't know when we'll be able to do it.

We have to finish paying off Leah's adoption. That won't take too much longer I don't think. As long as Drew doesn't get cut off the railroad again, of course! Blech.

But we also want to buy a house. We did Leah's adoption instead of a house. Do I have to make that choice again?

Why must I choose that?

I want a baby. Can't some just knock on my door?

I'm in a bad mood about it. Leah was in a bad mood today.

I love that girl of mine but WOW - does she have some attitude. My mother says it's cosmic justice. hmmmm....

Here's some pics of her hair today. Well, I did it yesterday (when she was in a GREAT mood & we had the best day - just me & her all day). This is fun, ya?

PS - I know those parts aren't perfect. Cameras are so unforgiving!!! But be gentle with me. She's a moving target! It's hard to make a straight part on a moving head!! LOL