Chip Dip

Today is the last day of NaNoBloMo! I feel like I should do some grand post but... I got nothing grand to share with you today!

I'm sick today and feeling particularly uninspired.

I did make a yummy dip yesterday. I took a picture before I baked it but forgot to afterward.

In the dip I put every cheese in my fridge - mozzarella, sharp cheddar, colby jack,  some white velveeta with green chiles in it (this is something I've never found in name brand velveeta - it's a Kroger brand thing and great for chip dips!), a little parmesan, a brick of cream cheese, sour cream, milk, some juice from a jar of jalapenos (I didn't add the jalapenos because Leah was going to be eating it), salt, pepper, red pepper.

Then I added a bunch of chopped up ham and then I cut the corn off three ears of corn on the cob and added that.

So it was Ham Corn Cheese Dip.

This is Drew’s plate – he who was too impatient to wait for me to bake it. Then I forgot to take a picture of the baked version. It just had a slightly crusty top – would have made a better picture though.  A very hearty chip dip with little bursts of sweetness from the fresh corn. Dinner served!

PS Not exactly a health food. Or particularly great for my blood sugar… But yummy!

Happy Birthday, Nana!

 

Two things:

1. This is Leah saying – Happy Birthday, Nana! And then she called her to tell her that out loud. How adorable is she??

2. I was totally excited that I got a picture of her with her clothes still on. She normally strips within moments of being in the house. And this one she had just come in from church and said, “I want chocolate and then I want to call Nana!”

(Kid has her priorities straight!)

PS – You like my TV on that ridiculous bench from the table? Do you know how hard it is to find a table that’s 13.75 inches deep or less? They’re usually 15+ (sofa table) YEARS I’ve been looking. I have finally found one. I was waiting to be done Christmas shopping to order it. Woohoo!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Potato Pancakes

Recipe

And what I did:

2 cups of mashed potatoes (day old as suggested)
1 egg
a scant 1/4 of flour (it needed more than the recipe link said - just slightly)
1/4 diced onion (I sautéed it first in butter)

Then I proceed as the link suggested.

These, of course, will only be as good as your mashed potatoes were to begin with.
I put gravy on top like syrup and then a dollop (I love the word dollop) of sour cream on top.

Thanks to Camela for the idea of making potato pancakes and giving me the craving. And thanks to Pep for the sour cream on top idea!

The Friday 5

I found this funny site today - apparently every Friday they post five questions you can answer on your blog. I'm certain I won't do it every Friday but maybe sometimes - it looks fun!

http://www.friday5.org/ - okay. I'm not gonna do this week's. I just scrolled through the list and chose. I'm a cheater already.

1. What is your favorite shape of pasta?
2. Which of the Lucky Charms marshmallows is (or was) your favorite?
   
3. Of people you know who are older than forty, who’s in the best shape?
4. What shape is one of the more interesting scars on your body?
5. Of a human’s internal organs, which you think has the most interesting shape?

1. De Cecco Angel Hair Nests or De Cecco Capellini - it is the thinnest tiniest pasta around. There is no better angel hair. I've done research. I'm just sayin'. (Right Renee??)
2. I would rather eat chalk. Those marshmallows are so nasty. - So, uh. The clovers?
3. The best shape? Does that mean physically? Hmmm.... My mind is totally blank. I got nothin'.
4. Sadly, I have no fascinating scars. They are all straight lines. Does that make me uninteresting? Oh wait. I do have one sort of round one on my right shin. I suppose that's not interesting though...
5. LOL funny question. I think I'm gonna go with kidneys. At least it's a shape. The liver is just a glob as is most everything else. Except the heart of course. But kidneys are kind of cool lookin'.

Sorry about the rather boring post. I needed some Nanoblomo fluff. Everything else going on in my head is too deep, too personal, or can't be blogged because too many people read my blog.

And heaven knows there are people waiting in the wings who'd like to censor what I post! So bothersome.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving Family, Friends, Blog Readers, and Anonymous Blog Readers ;)

I hope you get to enjoy some good food and some good company today. I am grateful for my life and all that I have!

Poor Kid!

Here she is – pinned like this – while I snapped pictures and forced her to say: Mommy is the best! Mommy is the best!

I am thankful for my eyes.

Thankful Jar Post

We have been doing the thankful jar still. Although we've missed a few days here and there so we'll probably keep going until we've used them all.

Today was "I am thankful for my eyes."

It said to watch a movie together. We did that, of course, but then I got a handkerchief and blindfolded Leah. We talked about how she could hear the cartoons but not see them. Then I told her to go potty. Drew stayed close to her as she worked her way up the stairs and went to the bathroom. Then she came back down - asking Drew to carry her first but he said no. Then I got her a bowl of ice cream (I did not tell her what it was) and left her blindfolded to try to eat it. While she tried that with little success (there were many spoonfuls of nothing in her mouth) we talked about all the things that she wouldn't be able to see. Flowers, movies, etc. And she said - I wouldn't be able to see my mommy!! - which was very sweet.

Finally I took off her blindfold and let her eat her ice cream.

It was a good little mini lesson. I think she got the point about what blind really means. Not the depth of it of course but she's 4.

I wonder how I can mange it when we hit the "I am thankful for my ears" one...

Children's Book Review

Except no mayhem or turkey murder!

Leah has hundreds of books but some are just more fun to read outloud than others!

These are two of my favorites:


The Barnyard dance one is in square dancing rhythm & you seriously can't read it out loud with out sing songing it and kind of bobbing. It's so fun to say "promenade two by two!"

Babycakes is a fantastic book too. Right away I started calling Leah babycakes and my sister I believe is the one who bought Leah the book. Before I'd ever seen it I used to say "babycakes, babycakes rah rah rah. babycakes, babycakes sis boom bah" and the whole book is written in the exact same rhythm. You can do actions with it too - kiss their toes, kiss their nose - and it ends with goes nigh' night. So it's a great bed time one.

Fun books!

(and no turkey murders!)

Cookies!

Leah asked to make “cookies where we use cookie cutters, mom!” So that’s what we did this evening…

Just a tidbit – cookies that have been rolled out by a four year old – they don’t cook so evenly… But still yummy!

Neato Burrito

Green Bean Chef

I'm a cook. You all know I love it.

I love fresh and wonderful ingredients. I like sashimi grade fish, for example. I like high grade all kinds of things.

But you know what I can't make myself like?

Green Beans. Fresh green beans.

I'll eat canned green beans anytime. I love them.

But fresh? No.

That flavor is all wrong, the texture, the after taste.... I don't like any of it.

Fresh green beans are not good.

That's all.

It makes me feel bad. I should like all fresh things, right?

Of course I also hate mushrooms. But there's just nothing to be done about that one.

Grandparents

Leah loves her Nana & Papa. I love to watch it!

Pumpkin Pie Bites, Part 2

  These pictures are for you, Connie. This is the PERFECT way to eat these little bites.

A little whipped cream – sprinkle with cinnamon.

 

This is the deal with these. I love pumpkin pie but I always like to turn the pie on it’s side and get crust in every bite plus I want whipped cream in every bite. It’s a lot of organizing to eat it correctly. But this? Perfect. Everything you need in every bite!

PS One more post coming. I feel like it’s cheating to do the same topic two days in a row! lol

Pumpkin Pie Bites

Pumpkin Pie Bites

I made these today (I know, I know. I said I was going to do it days ago. Sue me.) - they're rather delicious. They're supposed to be for tomorrow. I may have eaten four. I'm not admitting to anything for certain though...

They look different than on the site I got them from for a couple reasons. I used circles not pumpkin cookie cutters and I used the fresh pumpkin so the color is considerably lighter. I also didn’t do it in two batches as she suggested. I guess if I was doing the pumpkin cutters that might have been necessary but these fit just right.

Actually a little more work than just making a pumpkin pie. Tomorrow I’m going to do some heavy whipping cream with sugar and cinnamon to eat on top. That will make it a perfect little pumpkin pie bite!

  

PS I keep saying tomorrow because we’re having a Thanksgiving dinner at mom’s tomorrow since she’s going to be out of town. Hooray for Thanksgiving dinner!

The Trampoline

Okay - this is ridiculously blurry but could she look any cuter??



PS There is an enclosure that goes to this. We just haven't put it up yet. It was cold and raining when we did the trampoline and we'd had enough. And now it's freezing and snow covered. lol

Good Eats

So yesterday I was watching a DVRed episode of Dinner Impossible (love that show!) and I had gone into the kitchen as it was ending. A few minutes later, my newly 4 year old comes into to the kitchen tugging on my hand saying - What is this called? I love this show. Come see! I want to watch this. It's my favorite cooking show! Hurry mom! Hurry!

Okay, Leah! Okay. I'm coming.

Sheesh.

It was Good Eats.

Seriously. I love my kid. It was just a few minutes of it because it was on the tail end of my show and she was so upset that it wasn't actually on. The sad, sad disappointment. So now the DVR is set to record all new episodes of Good Eats.

She asked me about it again today because I'd told her it came on Monday nights. Sadly it comes on after she's in bed so she has to wait until tomorrow.

Poor kid. lol

My 4 year old loves Alton Brown. Who knew?

Birthday Pictures

Her first day of being four! She got tons of presents and had a most fantastic time at her party. Here’s a couple of pictures on her actual birthday:

She seriously can’t stop talking about this mp3 player. It’s an iPod Shuffle. What cracks me up about it is that I won it in a drawing at the bank! I just stuck it in a drawer and saved it for her birthday since Drew & I each already have an mp3 player we like. I filled this with Kidz Bop pop music, some great kid pop type music Camela sent her and some classic kids songs. She has Bingo stuck in her head from it. Oh and some Kidz Superstarz Christmas music. She just loves it. She hasn’t figured out that the volume button is on the ear phones yet. So I know she’s not blasting her ears. I’ll have to cross that bridge when we get to it.

Never mind the TRAMPOLINE we (Drew & I and Nana & Papa) got her, of course. She was very very excited about that but it cracks me up how she can’t stop talking about the thing I got for free.

And this baby hasn’t left her side:

The baby makes the most adorable giggling noises.

At her party (but still 3 in this picture – as she kept reminding everyone – I’m not four YET!) right before blowing out her candles.

Shortly after taking this picture my camera battery died. How ridiculous is that? I got another battery the next day but luckily my parents had brought their camera. I need to get the pictures from them still though.

My Leah - Addendum

I forgot something else I want to remember about her.

She is incredibly sensitive and tender and even raw in some ways.

I cannot yell at her. Oh I can use the "mommy voice", I can even sound upset but if I actually raise my voice? Forget it. I do it very infrequently. And always end up immediately apologizing because essentially it dissolves her and she will be crying and saying, "You're not supposed to yell. Don't yell at me." or something similar. I love it about her and at the same time it requires a great deal of self-control on my part. And I love it because it makes me - a better me.

She's even more sensitive with her Daddy. He can't even do the stern "mommy voice" thing before she's distraught.

We still do time outs. She still gets in trouble. It's not like we don't ever discipline her. It just has to be done calmly.

She also needs preparation for things. If someone is coming over, a basic description of where we are going, what a new experience will be like, etc. If not she'll be generally more clingy until she adjusts to whatever the new situation is - for like maybe 30 minutes or so. Then she's off again - but if she's really prepared it takes much less time for her to adjust.

That's it.

I think.

PS We had a wonderful birthday party yesterday and then a fun family day together for her birthday today. She got to plan the menu for today: Grits/eggs/toast for breakfast, Thai food for lunch, and Alfredo for dinner. She's got good taste!

Two posts in one day! Take that NaNoBloMo!

My Leah

I've been planning on writing a post about Leah today. Something the encompasses and describes her. The problem is it makes me all emotional and then I can't write.

I'm gonna try. Maybe I'll just start with things she loves.

Leah's beloved foods (she's listing these to me while I type) - spinach, oranges, carrots, celery, broccoli, crab rangoons, sesame chicken from the thai place, grits/eggs, mac & cheese, peaches, bread

She also like hollandaise sauce - when she asks for that it's "eggs with sauce please".

And sometimes she asks for alfredo and sometimes when she can't remember the word she says "noodles with that one sauce - the white one".

She still won't eat sandwiches. If you give her a plate that has turkey, cheese, lettuce, and bread, she will eat it. But if you actually stack that into a sandwich? Forget it.

She doesn't like any red meat, no ground meat patties! She loves ham (with a passion) and chicken if it's cooked well. She does not like fish but really likes crab - but not lobster. (she told me to add that. I don't think I've ever shared lobster with her). I can get her to eat salisbury steak - which is of course a totally different texture of ground meat. She will eat the meat in a taco sometimes.

She likes candy as much as the next kid I think but she regulates herself very well. She had free access to her halloween candy and she was still only eating 2-3 pieces a day and sometimes none. When it had been 3 days since she got a piece out of there I threw it away. She hasn't noticed. Currently she wants any candy with peanut butter inside of it. She LOVES peanut butter. No peanut butter sandwich (I keep trying) but she'll eat a spoonful of crunchy peanut butter and be blissfully happy.

Leah still rarely stays in her bed through the night. She loves to come and snuggle. And even if she's been in my bed all night she'll wake me up and say "I want to snuggle with you" and fall back asleep for another hour. She's very physically affectionate. There is a lot of hugging and kissing and random "I love you"s. She likes to tell me "You're my favorite best mommy!"

She's also very compassionate. I've blogged about that a little before I think. She worries about other kids being sad or making sure Drew & I get some of whatever treat she's having - or have one of our own. Especially Daddy. She always makes sure he's getting some too. Her favorite cousin - she just adores - and they fight and both act obnoxious sometimes as kids do - but Leah says things about her like "She's mean sometimes mom but I love her. I love her the most of all my cousins!" The other day we took E to story hour with us and Leah asked her if she wanted to come play and E told her "no" and Leah said, "Do you want me to come play at your house?" "No. You can't come to my house and play!" And I swear if I was Leah I would have burst into tears and the look on Leah's face, she was clearly hurt but she said "Are you okay Elaina? Are you sick?" And E just wouldn't answer her. I was driving then so I just started driving straight to E's house. I was so mad. I hate being that mad at a 4 year old but it seemed like mother bear instinct, kwim? And I love E! I told her mom about it and she said she's been acting like that to her sisters too. Anyway - I know it's just a phase. My point was that Leah was so compassionate in response... then I started to ramble.

On Wednesday at church we did a Veteran's Day dinner and invited all the veteran's we knew. As I still helping get things out of the kitchen, etc but I stopped to make Leah a plate and asked her where she wanted to sit - She did not choose the teenagers that she knows (there were no other kids there), she asked to sit in the middle of six people - a very elderly man on her left, elderly woman on her right, across from her was her primary teacher and her mom, and then another older woman and her husband on the other side of her primary teacher. And my wonderful child just sat there and had conversation and ate her dinner like it was the most normal choice in the world for a four year old. Later several of those people commented to me about it. They totally enjoyed her company and her primary teacher said she used all her manners and was so polite. Love it!

She is learning how to read and progressing so fast it's rather scary. A couple more months of these lessons and she'll just be reading. Right now she walks around sounding out words to herself. If she hears a new word she says it very slowly and asks me how it's spelled, etc. I love her loving to learn. She's so interested in everything. She knows that I can show her just about anything on the computer. Yesterday she asked if I could show her "different colors of hermit crabs". I didn't even know she knew what a hermit crab was! We found a picture of a hermit crab in a soccer ball shell. Totally cool. lol

Leah is also incredibly mouthy sometimes. I often say - and have been told many times - that when she's a teenager... I'm screwed.

I love her spunk, her heart, her spirit, her adorable face, the shape of her little body, her hair, her chocolate-y eyes (which I sometimes ask her if I can lick), every single part of her!

Happy Birthday beautiful girl!

Birthday Cake

We are having Leah’s birthday party today (her birthday is actually tomorrow). And I’ve been working on her cakes this morning.

Here is the tablescape all put together:

A close up of the lady bugs – which I just think are adorable!

This is what the butterfly cake looks like – it’s just a round cake cut in half, cut outs, put back to back. I sliced a little slice off the back side of each too to make them fit together better.

The instructions for all these things can be found here: 31 Incredible Birthday Cakes.

There are a few things I did different out of necessity. Dark green muffin cups are not easy to come by. I went to 6 stores! So for the snakes I dyed the cake batter green and used mint green cups. It worked well. You can see them in the picture below. The lady bugs I used pink ones but I didn’t dye anything. They didn’t need it.

The instructions say to use mallomars for the ladybug body (and then cover in frosting) but I couldn’t find those anywhere either. I used mini cakesters. They worked perfectly – slightly bigger than mallomars I think.

If you look at the butterfly cake above you’ll see several candies are different. I couldn’t find sprees so I used these giant smarties a checker in walmart showed me. I didn’t know those things came so huge! They’re slightly alarming. I still haven’t eaten one. lol

The grass is dyed coconut. A little warm water, green dye, a little yellow – done in two batches to get multi tones.

I think everything else I did pretty much what they said. Leah loves it!

Now I’m off to finish cleaning, cook some rolls, and make a ham corn potato chowder. Yummy on this snowy day!

Applesauce

Here’s the recipe I used: Simply Recipes – Applesauce

I’m sure you’ll be shocked to hear I did exactly what this recipe said. Although it was a recipe with built in “the sugar is guidelines – depends on your apples”. That’s the best kind. ;)

I stirred that up so the picture wouldn’t just be apples but really I left the lemon peel and cinnamon on the bottom to make sure they soaked in the water a long time.

After about 30 minutes I pulled the peel and cinnamon stick and dumped it hot into the food processor. Put it on high for about 20-30 seconds. And ta-da! Applesauce:

Leah helped with the whole process. She was ever so pleased with all of it. She did discover she doesn’t like applesauce when it’s warm.

This is so good now I don’t want the stuff in the handy jars anymore… great. Just great.

What's next?

So what does Leah ask me tonight as we run in the store to grab two things after church?

Go on.

Guess.

No. That's not it. Try again.

Nope.

Okay I'll tell you...

"Mom? Can we make applesauce tomorrow?"

"What?"

"Can we buy some apples and make applesauce?"

"Sure baby" (I say this all nonchalantly. Like I ever MAKE applesauce. How 'bout this nice jar Leah? It's not like I don't think I can. It just comes cheap in these nice jars....)

"Hooray! Oh I can't wait!" - and she dances off to the produce section.

You know why this is happening to me? Stupid educational cartoons. Sid the Science Kid. An episode about food decaying. They watched a pumpkin decay and get disgusting. And then they learned - what can you make from old bananas? Banana Bread. What can you make from old apples? You guessed it. Applesauce.

So I'm thinking - UGH. Like I don't have enough to do getting ready for her party on Friday.

But then as she's going to bed and she says her prayers she actually says "Thank you we get to make applesauce tomorrow!" in her prayer.

There's no getting out of this now, is there?

I really do love my kid. She sure keeps me on my toes!

Pet Love

Do you think it’s weird that my dogs and cats like each other so much?

Benny (orange boy) & Joon (black girl) are the cats (yes, they’re siblings). Rosco & Tripper are the dogs.

Benny seemed annoyed at my intrusion.

Odd animals.

Pumpkin

So a few weeks before Halloween, Leah wants to buy a pumpkin. You - like me - might assume she's excited to make a jack-o-lantern. And then you - like me - might buy an enormous pumpkin for this purpose.

But we would both be wrong.

Because in fact we got home and she says to me: Okay. So. What can we cook with this pumpkin?

What??? Oh. Um. Crap.

WHY did I buy this ENORMOUS pumpkin???



So we cut up the pumpkin, we roasted it, and then we pureed it. And in the end we had 18 cups of pumpkin puree. Now what to cook was the question! (much of this is now in the freezer in baggies - 2 cups in each bag)

We made a pumpkin pie - that was fantastic. Pumpkin pie with fresh pumpkin has a more mild taste so if you don't normally like pumpkin pie you might give that a try some day.

We made pumpkin ginger muffins. I never did take my own picture of those. You can click to see the recipe. I didn't have any candied ginger (which I have made from scratch before but it takes 7-8 hours. I was too impatient. lol) so I used candied pecans - which I already had in my house. They were VERY good. YUM.


We made pumpkin bars - Paula Dean's recipe - recommended to my by Camela - with warning (which I found was reflected in the reviews) that it always comes out gooey in the center. To avoid this I used a 9x13 AND an 11x7 for one batch. So they were slightly thinner than intended but they came out perfectly.

So today I think I'm going to make these from Bakerella - Pumpkin Pie Bites.

Hometown

The journal jar strikes again...

Describe the main street of your hometown.

Uh.

I don't have a hometown really. I was born here where we live now but I didn't grow up here. I lived in Georgia from 4 to 10 (in 3 towns), Missouri for a year, and then we moved to Oklahoma just before I turned 12. We moved from there a few weeks after I turned 17 to Massachusetts. I lived there for about 18 months before I headed off to college in Idaho. We moved around since we've been married too. Although I think we're settled now. At some point in our future there'll be a move to Cheyenne. Barring any unforeseen surprises, of course.

Alas I don't know what to say when people ask about or refer to my hometown.

The most continuous I've ever lived in one place is Claremore, Oklahoma but it's hard to call that my hometown when I haven't been there since I was 17 (I'm about to turn 34). And I don't have any family still there or anything.

Besides what I could describe of main street in Claremore is not likely to be true anymore! lol

But this brings my mind around to another topic...

Because of that move the middle of my junior year - I don't think I'll probably ever attend a high school reunion. I didn't graduate in Oklahoma - although I spent most of school there - and I was only in Massachusetts for a year and a half. It just seems awkward.

Now I have to go catch up on Leah's pictures. She'll be four on Saturday and I am woefully behind. Eek!

Children's Book Review - Take 2

You may or may not remember my previous book review - written last year - you should read that first.

You'd think I had learned my lesson about previewing holiday thanksgiving books.

But I have not.

Perhaps two adorable preschoolers (Leah & her cousin Elaina) were running about the children's section of the library pulling books and handing them to me and I did not bother to look. And then perhaps as we were getting Leah to bed last night she asks to read three of these books...

And maybe - just maybe - ANOTHER book was about not having turkey for Thanksgiving.

FOR THE LOVE OF PETE.

Okay fine. At least this one didn't have an ax and sobbing children but it did talk about plucking and stuffing and how scared the turkey was - there were descriptions of the process - which I did not read out loud. I said something like "Oh they want to get me" and kept on reading.

I will say that if you ARE looking for a vegetarian thanksgiving book - I'd go with this one as opposed to the other. :)

The two pilgrim boys are singing this song:

"We'll pluck him, and stuff him,
and cook him up right.
We'll gobble, gobble turkey
for dinner tonight!"

And look at this review I found:

“Two pilgrim brothers set off to hunt up a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. "We'll pluck him, and stuff him, /​ and cook him up right. /​ We'll gobble, gobble turkey /​ for dinner tonight!" Their song forms a refrain throughout, but the smaller pilgrim brother begins to have second thoughts. He most certainly sees a terrified turkey a number of times, but he always leads his brother in another direction. Meanwhile, Turkey tries hiding in a tree, a gopher hole and a pond-with disastrous results. Then small pilgrim brother helps Turkey hide in a woodpile, and the two boys take home a huge pumpkin for dinner instead. Vegetarian storytellers now have an excellent companion to Dav Pilkey's Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving (1990) for their cruelty-free holiday storytimes. Wickstrom's high-spirited hunting brothers and the most expressive turkey in recent memory are a perfect match for Archer's sweet hide-and-seek story. Even the most carnivorous listeners will enjoy this yummy addition to any collection.”

I can't believe it even mentions the last book I reviewed on this very topic.

What is with my luck? You know there are TONS of thanksgiving books for kids in the world. Probably even with perfectly innocent people eating turkey.

The message from this book? Let the turkeys live.

I wonder if I can accidentally check out one next year?

And as you can see - we still go to the library every Friday for more books. :)

I have another one we haven't read called Turkey Bowl. There's people playing football on the front. It might be safe...

Halloween

Okay. I'm a little late with this but I have my laptop again - all in working order - and it's not so much work to get a picture from my camera to my blog! lol

Leah was Fiona for Halloween. We were looking at costumes a couple months ago online (www.costumesupercenter.com) and we got to this dress and she did a full girly gasp and clapped her hands over her mouth. It was too adorable.

A couple hours before it was time to go she tells me "I want a long princess braid."

Um....

Sure. Okay.

And then I had a moment of mommy GENIUS. I went to my craft stuff and found some brown yarn. I cut a ton of pieces - then I french braided her hair and attached a grouping of yarn to each end of the french braid and then just kept braiding. It turned out so cool! She thought I was hero.

I know, I know. Hold the applause.

A little make up - a princess should get to where
make up... even an ogre princess. lol

First Crush

So in my search for an idea to post today (NaBloPoMo!), I decided to go pull out this journal jar thing I have. It has these little curled pieces of paper and a question on each one.

So what do I get?

Well first I got tell about your grandkids. Right. Not helpful.

Tell about your first love/crush.

Hmmm. Okay. I can do that.

Oh wait. He's on my facebook. These posts are imported into my facebook. Hello? A.w.k.w.a.r.d.

I think I can do this without saying his name.

But what am I supposed to tell about him. I totally loved him from like 7th grade on. I got mostly over it during our sophomore year but really I just didn't see him very often anymore. There were other crushes before him, during him, after him but he's my most intense memory of childhood/teenage-hood love.

You know how every once in awhile you meet someone you're attracted to but in some kind of "your mind and body have some chemical reaction of their own" way? I'm sure there's a fancy name for that. I didn't really know what that was when I was so young but through junior high school and beyond I have these memories of him coming up behind me - but not touching me - just to walk by - and knowing it was him before I turned and saw him. And thinking that was so weird - was I psychic or what?

We moved away from there the middle of my junior year but the months before that he was mean to me a couple times and I was not really all that enamored with him anymore. I am - as I always have been - a very sensitive person - and really he didn't KNOW me at all - and I didn't know him - but oh I was ever so in love. Funny though - there were other guys during that time that really did get to know me very well. Two I can think of specifically - also both on my facebook. I guess I won't go there either. LOL

I have as an adult met other men that you have that kind of moment or connection with - not frequently - but it always makes me think of.... "he who will not be named". (no he's not Voldemort. Or evil - well as far as I know he's not evil. He seems rather benign on Facebook at least!)

Which btw I'll just say - I love facebook. I love knowing how people turned out and what they're wives/husbands/kids look like. Although I really just want them to be happy. There is another guy's family on there - he's not - who I adored for many years and I've learned he's gotten divorced and doesn't sound happy and it made me cry. I wish he was on facebook too so he could tell me he is happy and I wouldn't worry. Of course maybe he's not. I suppose EVERYONE isn't happy. Even the happy faces I see on facebook. I want people I love/loved to be happy even if I don't get to know them anymore.

And the other thing - I'm so surprised how much I still care about the same people. If facebook didn't exist I'm sure I wouldn't think about it. But I care about those same people - even though I don't know about their lives now - or really them for that matter - certainly I'm not the same person I was at 15! haha. But I love that facebook gives me a glimpse into them. Very cool!

Anyway - that's about all I can say about him I suppose. I think I can do that without revealing him. Except I suppose he'll know if he remembers any of it.

Both in 9th grade -

Once he was sitting next to me in the hallway during lunch and we were talking - and this other girl walked by and smiled at him - he just kind of ignored her - but then a guy across the hall (his best friend I think at the time) says "Hey! She got her braces off! Now you can kiss her without hurting yourself!" - or something like that. I thought he was going to faint. He yelled at his friend to shut up. It was very funny.

One other time - I was talking to another guy and we were kind of flirting and the same best friend walk by and says to the guy I'm talking to - you should stay away from her. He's gonna be mad. I still to this day don't get that. We weren't together or even really talking at that time. Was there some kind of decree I belonged to him? Boys! lol

There. I did it. That's an odd pointless blog post.

All for your entertainment.

It was either that or I post the Gummi Bears Theme song. I do love that song....

Paper Bag Puppets

From Oct 15th - this has been sitting in my drafts file.

Paper Bag Puppet Ideas

Halloween Set (pdf) - this is the ones we did. Leah thought this was great fun. I cut them out but she did the painting/coloring and 90% of the gluing.

Good times :)

She really thought these were the best thing EVER.

The Thankful Jar

I got this idea from Connie's blog - who got it from someone else's blog - who got it... you get the idea. It appears to have originally come from sugardoodle.net - Thankful Jar

Here you can see a pic of someone's jar and papers. I did the same thing to the papers but not the jar decoration. We did glue a picture on the front of the jar. I suppose I could take a picture - and I probably will - but since my laptop is off in some Dell service place - I'm using Drew's little mini laptop and... well... some things are just too much work!

Leah loves any cutting and gluing so she loved the process of course but this morning when we got up this first thing she said was "Let's go do the thankful jar!" So we started the morning by pulling out a card - it said I am thankful for sisters - which I had written Aunts under because she has no sister, of course! So she decided we should color pictures for the Aunt she selected. I printed out some Thanksgiving coloring pages and we colored and now they are in the mailbox. She also loves that process - stamps, envelopes, putting in the mailbox.

The thankful jar is fun! Thanks for the idea Connie!

I'm off to do some Wii Fit Yoga now. Woohoo! lol

Clingy Part 2

She's still clingy. Just in case you were wondering....

No really. That's not what I was going to talk about. lol

Last night Drew & I talked about it and I was really upset (she was sleeping). Upset about how to handle it, upset about what's going on in her head, upset about how he hasn't been home for a whole day in forever and that's taking a toll on Leah and I. Just Bleh.

But Drew is a good sounding board and as we talked about Leah and how she's feeling and I was crying and he was soothing me and asking why I was so upset and pointing out I wasn't even breathing right.

And as I'm babbling, something comes to the surface... I can't fix it.

Oh. My. Gosh.

So then for a minute I sob into his chest.

"I can't fix it. I'm the mommy, I'm supposed to fix it. I can't fix it."

Her little heart has realized that some things in the world are not safe. She has to have this realization but it's a realization that can never be taken back. Once you know, you can't "un"know it right? It makes me ultra sad.

I can only comfort but I cannot take it away or fix it. It's done.

So there's the gist of my angst. Sometimes it takes awhile for me to work my way around to what's upsetting me about something - but there it is.

She's just hit upon something I can't make better.

Ouch.

Well, that and the constant clingy-ness. lol But that's easier to deal with when I've recognized my own angst in the situation.

Whew.

Clingy. Ultra Clingy.

So Leah has been clingy. Well, let me be clear - clingy doesn't quite describe how it has been.

For example, Thursday morning I was making her requested breakfast (grits, fried eggs, and toast - her favorite breakfast these days) and as I'm standing at the stove cooking - where is she? Sitting at my feet. And every little bit leaning over and kissing my calf. Seriously.

This is very sweet but that's the deal with this stage of clingy for her - it's all in sweetness. If she was being a brat it would be easier to deal with but she is just glued to me with love. And if I were to get too upset with her constant attention her little heart would be broken. If she even starts to sniff out that I'm getting frustrated her feelings are hurt.

So the gist of this is: I'm drained. It's been two weeks of this. She's waking up crying at night and coming to me. She normally gets in my bed at some point in the night - which I don't mind at all - but going back to waking up to all this wailing is not my favorite thing. She won't leave the room I'm in. She won't go to the family room and watch cartoons while I'm in another room doing something else. In fact, she's hardly watched any cartoons in the last couple weeks. She keeps requesting that we watching cooking shows together. I did have her cousin come spend the night Friday night. Blessed break. They played in the family room downstairs and I spent some blissful alone time in the living room.

Several people I've talked to about it have asked me if I knew what brought this on - because normally there is something of course. But alas. I have no idea.

Until today - today I have gotten some clues.

All the sudden today she starts telling me about a dream she had where she was with Daddy and these people came and they hit daddy with a stick and daddy was laying in the street and she was so scared. I told her that was terrible and scary and I was sorry she had that dream. And she told me she'd had the dream several times. eek.

Then she told me that today she didn't want to go in her room because it was scary. WHAT? I thought. She loves her room! She said she's scared of the hole. Hole?? The hole behind her door.

Well. okay. Once I opened her bedroom door and the doorknob made a hole in the wall. Most of the sheet rock is even still attached. It's not even a whole hole.

But. I remember I was watching something - Criminal Minds - that was it. Anyway. I had tried to watch this show in like 6 sittings because I didn't want to watch it with her around - so I was seeing it in 5-10 minute bursts. It was driving me crazy. Finally I wake up way earlier than her one morning, come downstairs and turn it on. And as I'm watching them knock open a wall to find a skeleton, Leah came in the room. Lovely. (You see where this is going?) I hurriedly hit pause and turned off the TV. Off with our day. No big deal at the moment.

But now? Leah is afraid a skeleton is going to come out of the little hole in her wall behind her door.

She's having dreams about things happening to her parents.

Generally speaking, I think she's hit an awareness that somethings in the world are scary and sad and uncomfortable. And she's clinging to me while she adjusts to that.

Hopefully having an understanding of it will help me be sane while she works it out and help me to guide her through it.

***

So two nights ago is when she first told me about the "skeleton in the hole" (but not that it was the hole in her room), she said she couldn't sleep because of these thoughts. And I talked to her for a little bit about it and then said she should try saying her prayers again for the night and ask Heavenly Father to help her think of different things and when she was done to choose a song to sing in her head to help push the thoughts away. She said "that's a good idea, mommy!" and trotted off to bed again.

The next morning I asked her how it went and she said "I prayed two times and sang a song and then it worked and I fell asleep!"

Heartwarming little girl! Love her!

***

PS During typing this I have had probably 20 conversations with her (leaning against me the entire time) and she is just now off to go take her nap. A few moments peace... here I come. Whew.

ETA: I put tape over the hole in her room so "nothing will come out of it". I will be ordering one of those things that attaches to the wall to go behind a doorknob.