Clingy. Ultra Clingy.

So Leah has been clingy. Well, let me be clear - clingy doesn't quite describe how it has been.

For example, Thursday morning I was making her requested breakfast (grits, fried eggs, and toast - her favorite breakfast these days) and as I'm standing at the stove cooking - where is she? Sitting at my feet. And every little bit leaning over and kissing my calf. Seriously.

This is very sweet but that's the deal with this stage of clingy for her - it's all in sweetness. If she was being a brat it would be easier to deal with but she is just glued to me with love. And if I were to get too upset with her constant attention her little heart would be broken. If she even starts to sniff out that I'm getting frustrated her feelings are hurt.

So the gist of this is: I'm drained. It's been two weeks of this. She's waking up crying at night and coming to me. She normally gets in my bed at some point in the night - which I don't mind at all - but going back to waking up to all this wailing is not my favorite thing. She won't leave the room I'm in. She won't go to the family room and watch cartoons while I'm in another room doing something else. In fact, she's hardly watched any cartoons in the last couple weeks. She keeps requesting that we watching cooking shows together. I did have her cousin come spend the night Friday night. Blessed break. They played in the family room downstairs and I spent some blissful alone time in the living room.

Several people I've talked to about it have asked me if I knew what brought this on - because normally there is something of course. But alas. I have no idea.

Until today - today I have gotten some clues.

All the sudden today she starts telling me about a dream she had where she was with Daddy and these people came and they hit daddy with a stick and daddy was laying in the street and she was so scared. I told her that was terrible and scary and I was sorry she had that dream. And she told me she'd had the dream several times. eek.

Then she told me that today she didn't want to go in her room because it was scary. WHAT? I thought. She loves her room! She said she's scared of the hole. Hole?? The hole behind her door.

Well. okay. Once I opened her bedroom door and the doorknob made a hole in the wall. Most of the sheet rock is even still attached. It's not even a whole hole.

But. I remember I was watching something - Criminal Minds - that was it. Anyway. I had tried to watch this show in like 6 sittings because I didn't want to watch it with her around - so I was seeing it in 5-10 minute bursts. It was driving me crazy. Finally I wake up way earlier than her one morning, come downstairs and turn it on. And as I'm watching them knock open a wall to find a skeleton, Leah came in the room. Lovely. (You see where this is going?) I hurriedly hit pause and turned off the TV. Off with our day. No big deal at the moment.

But now? Leah is afraid a skeleton is going to come out of the little hole in her wall behind her door.

She's having dreams about things happening to her parents.

Generally speaking, I think she's hit an awareness that somethings in the world are scary and sad and uncomfortable. And she's clinging to me while she adjusts to that.

Hopefully having an understanding of it will help me be sane while she works it out and help me to guide her through it.

***

So two nights ago is when she first told me about the "skeleton in the hole" (but not that it was the hole in her room), she said she couldn't sleep because of these thoughts. And I talked to her for a little bit about it and then said she should try saying her prayers again for the night and ask Heavenly Father to help her think of different things and when she was done to choose a song to sing in her head to help push the thoughts away. She said "that's a good idea, mommy!" and trotted off to bed again.

The next morning I asked her how it went and she said "I prayed two times and sang a song and then it worked and I fell asleep!"

Heartwarming little girl! Love her!

***

PS During typing this I have had probably 20 conversations with her (leaning against me the entire time) and she is just now off to go take her nap. A few moments peace... here I come. Whew.

ETA: I put tape over the hole in her room so "nothing will come out of it". I will be ordering one of those things that attaches to the wall to go behind a doorknob.