Five Words

Today I read two blog posts. One was from Camela who does a thing called BYOC (bring your own crazy) every Friday and the questions are always different. One of them today was to have several people (friends, family, etc.) describe you in 5 words.

And then another was a link Camela sent me to a post challenging a person to come up with 5 things you like about yourself.

I knew I’d have a hard time with that but having my friends say nice things to me was a lovely thing to have happen today as I’m mentally not in the best place in the world. Getting used to having Fibromyalgia – it’s a toss up whether that’s harder physically or mentally…

Anyway – this was great fun and I highly recommend it if you need a mental boost. And then ABSOLUTELY go write five nice things about yourself! Above all we should like ourselves!

Drew
I totally told him he had to add more to replace clean because… LAME.

1. Clean (gee. isn’t he romantic?)
2. Motivated (huh?)
3. Sensitive
4. Perfectionist (who is he talking about?)
5. Sexy (awww)
6. Sensual
7. Committed

Leah
(she was so extremely shy about this. It was so sweet!)

1. good cook
2. nice
3. gives lots of kisses (then we had a little talk about what the word affectionate means)

Hannah

Me: Can you describe mommy?
Hannah: Yes.
Me: Well?
Hannah: FUNNY! (with all the glee in the world. I love that girl)

Renee

1. smart
2. funny
3. awesome
4. compassionate
5. honest

Kathy

1. empathetic
2. creative
3. loving
4. patient
5. strong

Leah (my sister)

1. compassionate
2. nurturing
3. intelligent
4. talented
5. sensitive

Camela
who wouldn’t stop at 5 and when I pointed that out said she was doing a 2nd set of 5. She’s a rebel.

1. real
2. loyal
3. trustworthy
4. fun
5. a little crazy
6. intense
7. mother
8. friend
9. creative
10. smart

Jeff

1. Genuine
2. Irreplaceable
3. Witty
4. Vulnerable
5. Loyal

Ann Marie

1. Amazing
2. Brave
3. Fierce Dancer (I've not seen it, but I can imagine)
4. Cool Mom
5. Awesome Friend

Ann Marie said these things to me on FB and then we had the following exchange:

Me: Thanks!! And LOL at Fierce Dancer - In my own mind I am. That's the same thing, right??

Her: I believe that is the DEFINITION of being a fierce dancer. :D

(that made me laugh. hard.)

Jen

1. thoughtful
2. great listener
3. compassionate
4. strong
5. persevering

Becky

1. generous
2. selfless
3. Google-queen
4. genius
5. mathematician

My Mom/Cathy

1. brilliant
2. forgiving
3. absolutely fabulous friend
4. intuitive mother
5. such.a.wonderful.daughter.
6. thoughtful

Me

1. I’m a loyal friend
2. I’m a good mother
3. I am sensitive, emotional AND emotionally strong. (These things can coexist. I think people seem to often not know that.)
4. I am loving and affectionate.
5. I am generous.

That list I made myself took me forever! Sweet glory. I don’t know what that says about me but I don’t feel like analyzing it!

Now go forth and do this exercise. It’s good for you!

First Crush

So in my search for an idea to post today (NaBloPoMo!), I decided to go pull out this journal jar thing I have. It has these little curled pieces of paper and a question on each one.

So what do I get?

Well first I got tell about your grandkids. Right. Not helpful.

Tell about your first love/crush.

Hmmm. Okay. I can do that.

Oh wait. He's on my facebook. These posts are imported into my facebook. Hello? A.w.k.w.a.r.d.

I think I can do this without saying his name.

But what am I supposed to tell about him. I totally loved him from like 7th grade on. I got mostly over it during our sophomore year but really I just didn't see him very often anymore. There were other crushes before him, during him, after him but he's my most intense memory of childhood/teenage-hood love.

You know how every once in awhile you meet someone you're attracted to but in some kind of "your mind and body have some chemical reaction of their own" way? I'm sure there's a fancy name for that. I didn't really know what that was when I was so young but through junior high school and beyond I have these memories of him coming up behind me - but not touching me - just to walk by - and knowing it was him before I turned and saw him. And thinking that was so weird - was I psychic or what?

We moved away from there the middle of my junior year but the months before that he was mean to me a couple times and I was not really all that enamored with him anymore. I am - as I always have been - a very sensitive person - and really he didn't KNOW me at all - and I didn't know him - but oh I was ever so in love. Funny though - there were other guys during that time that really did get to know me very well. Two I can think of specifically - also both on my facebook. I guess I won't go there either. LOL

I have as an adult met other men that you have that kind of moment or connection with - not frequently - but it always makes me think of.... "he who will not be named". (no he's not Voldemort. Or evil - well as far as I know he's not evil. He seems rather benign on Facebook at least!)

Which btw I'll just say - I love facebook. I love knowing how people turned out and what they're wives/husbands/kids look like. Although I really just want them to be happy. There is another guy's family on there - he's not - who I adored for many years and I've learned he's gotten divorced and doesn't sound happy and it made me cry. I wish he was on facebook too so he could tell me he is happy and I wouldn't worry. Of course maybe he's not. I suppose EVERYONE isn't happy. Even the happy faces I see on facebook. I want people I love/loved to be happy even if I don't get to know them anymore.

And the other thing - I'm so surprised how much I still care about the same people. If facebook didn't exist I'm sure I wouldn't think about it. But I care about those same people - even though I don't know about their lives now - or really them for that matter - certainly I'm not the same person I was at 15! haha. But I love that facebook gives me a glimpse into them. Very cool!

Anyway - that's about all I can say about him I suppose. I think I can do that without revealing him. Except I suppose he'll know if he remembers any of it.

Both in 9th grade -

Once he was sitting next to me in the hallway during lunch and we were talking - and this other girl walked by and smiled at him - he just kind of ignored her - but then a guy across the hall (his best friend I think at the time) says "Hey! She got her braces off! Now you can kiss her without hurting yourself!" - or something like that. I thought he was going to faint. He yelled at his friend to shut up. It was very funny.

One other time - I was talking to another guy and we were kind of flirting and the same best friend walk by and says to the guy I'm talking to - you should stay away from her. He's gonna be mad. I still to this day don't get that. We weren't together or even really talking at that time. Was there some kind of decree I belonged to him? Boys! lol

There. I did it. That's an odd pointless blog post.

All for your entertainment.

It was either that or I post the Gummi Bears Theme song. I do love that song....

Life

Today I went over to help my friend Kristin and her husband Brad at their house. They are moving away. They were just at that part of the move I hate the most. That horrible, awful part where there is just "stuff" in every room. All the stuff that didn't fit neatly in a box or should have been in some other room or it's something you don't really want. Blah blah blah.

I just loathe that stage.

Well, at least when it's my own stuff. haha.

Anyway, she'd had enough and another woman from church & I both helped and then we left with a TON of food. And I don't mean she gave us the odds and ends. I mean I had like 20 bags of food. Crazy lady!

I came home to put it all away and really felt like I'd been grocery shopping. Too funny! It was such a blast.

I'm sad she's moving away. She works with me at church with the Young Women (girls 12-18). Well, she did work with me. Sigh.

And Connie - she was in Young Womens too. And now she's got another job at church.

Are you sad for me yet?

Okay maybe not. More people will come into those jobs and I'll work with them and learn to love them too!

But I'm still sad!

****

Drew is at work right now. I don't know if he'll stay on the board. Actually it looks like he'll get bumped back off again but things are all up in the air right now because of the work/rest cycle (called the Railroad Safety Act I've learned). They haven't prepped for what's coming. Crazy railroad. So all these guys are going to hit having worked 6 days and need their 48 hours off - and there is no plan.

Seriously ridiculous.

Whatever! We wait :)

And for now my husband is at work, doing the job he loves. Such a happy man!

****

And me? I can do things that I love - reading (it's impossible to read with Drew around - heaven love my husband but the moment I'm reading he needs my attention), spending time play in my kitchen (I really do love to try cooking new things!), doing things with Leah, etc. And I do love the time alone.

After we helped with the moving we went to a movie (Leah & I). As we were leaving Brad & Kristin passed the parking lot and said "come to pizza hut!" so off we went. It was a fun day!

Calm & Strength

Sometimes the Lord calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.

This is how I feel lately. I feel better but things are not better. What's up with that? Well, I have fantastic - truly fantastic - friends all over the country connected to me though varying life experiences - some local, some far, some I've never met in person.

But I've been getting all this mail (and a package left on my doorstep!) - all these fun packages! They've put so much effort into cheering me up as we go through some difficult times.

I feel strengthened through their friendship and I will be forever grateful for it. Just as I was reaching the point where I literally felt like I could take no more of life in general, here were my friends, reminding me - with their gestures of kindness - to keep perspective.

Beta Numbers

Check this out: Deanna's Numbers!

Pregnancy

No not ME. Don't get all shocked! LOL

I just think it's SO cool that I have 3 dear friends/family that are pg right now.

Deanna, Leah, & Daisha

Each has struggled with fertility & each pregnancy is just such an exciting miracle. What cool things are happening all around me! I love it!

I also love that in early years of my own journey this would have been difficult for me. But I'm in such a good place with my life it brings me nothing but joy!

What a wonderful time! Every few months for this next year one of my friends is going to have a baby! How cool is that?

And from our TeaTime group there have been SO many babies this last year. Bek, Lori, Robin, Aimee. It's just amazing!