Work, work, work

I don't believe I've mentioned it on my blog but on May 28th Drew got laid off work. Now, on the railroad "laid off" is not the same thing as most jobs. They could call him back any day but we don't know when & for how long. He did get called back for 4 days a couple of weeks ago, then cut off again.

It's scary. I'm worried sick about how all of July's bills are going to get paid but at the same time feel fairly calm that it'll all work out. He's on a railroad board called "AWTS". They are gauranteed pay for one trip per week. Normally when he's working he makes 4 trips a week. So it's not enough pay for sure.

The railroad is similar to it's own government. We don't pay Social Security/Fica taxes, etc. But this also means Drew can't get unemployment. The railroad DOES have it's own unemployment board but they want you to have been working for so long that there is nearly a year lag time where you can't get unemployment from anywhere. Drew's lag time ends today (June 30). So he can start getting unemployment July 1st. But it means it gets nothing for June.

And then today he got the phone call that he will probably - starting next week - be able to work in Cheyenne for a month. 150 miles away. We need the money. He must go where they tell him but... this makes me feel sick. I can't stand the thought of being away from my husband for a month - the thought of Leah not seeing her Daddy - who she is in a phase of ADORING - for a month.

This child who has taken to this conversation:

Me: Are you my _______ (insert term of endearment)?
Leah: NO! I'm Daddy's _______!

Sheesh ;)

Mostly I think I'm handling this unemployment business really well. I'm working extra. Drew is painting my parent's house. They were going to pay someone so it might as well be him. lol Mom loves the job he's doing & says he should start a side business.

And I've been very calm. If I freak & get all depressed, Drew will feel worse. He will feel pressured & he takes that to heart. Because he's the breadwinner & he feels horrid about himself if I can't have whatever I want. So I just don't mention the random cravings I have for Pad Thai, etc. ha. ha.

**Just an FYI. My husband loves to run errands. And I mean LOVES. I don't care if it's midnight. There are times when he harasses me until I come up with an errand for him. I have to make things up for him to go buy. It's cuckoo but I'm not complaining!

Anyway - all-in-all we're still good. Happy & waiting.

Does it seem we're always waiting for something or another to happen?

Bad Day

Yikes. The last couple of days have sucked but.... yikes.

Tagged - My Scariest Moment

Tagged by Tracey to the the scariest moment...

hmmmm - I'm having a hard time thinking of this.

All of my scariest moments are wrapped up in the early part of our marriage when Drew was in & out of the hospital (he's bipolar). We spent the first year and a half of marriage taking care of him and getting him stable. Dealing with a husband who is in a psychosis... It's just scary. I was 22. It was a lot. I think I handled it well. I yelled at doctor's. I took good care of my husband. He's still bipolar, he still must take his pills every day but it's a back burner part of our lives. Thankfully! He's happy, healthy, and no one would ever even know he's bipolar. Yeah for stability!

I don't know if I can pick ONE moment & describe it though.

And as I've learned I generally am with a crisis - during the actual crisis I'm very calm usually. But after it's over & everyone is fine? Crash. Even after all that time with Drew - when he was healthy & happy & working & stable & just... himself - I went into a pretty deep depression. It was like backlash depression or something. My body just needed it I think - down time.

Or the other day when Leah fell out of a grocery cart & landed on her head? (PS the most sickening sound EVER is your baby's head hitting on concrete floor.) After hours of watching her & making sure she was fine - waking up every hour all night long to check on her so we could pass the 24 hour head injury mark - I laid down and sobbed. But I was very calm the whole previous day. Go figure.

I believe I'm supposed to tag 5 people to do this...

Leah

Deanna

Daisha

Becky (sorry about the double tag ;) )

Mandy

Tagged - Four Things

Tagged by my sister, Leah. Who - btw - just made the best announcement EVER on her blog...

Four Jobs I've had:

1. Mathematics Tutor (many times over)
2. Website Administrator
3. Office Assistant
4. Ice Cream! (I did that for awhile in high school. My first job ever!)

Four Movies I've watched more then once:

1. Lord of the Rigns (triology)
2. Harry Potter (series)
3. US Marshalls (I watch this movie every night. I trained myself to fall asleep to it. Very good insomnia cure. I actually love the movie but if you fall asleep watching a movie enough times you get a Pavlov response to it. I can also do this with Cutting Edge & Independence Day.)
4. Robin Hood

Four Places I Have Lived:

1. Laramie, WY
2. Boise, ID
3. Maple Vally, WA
4. Westford, MA

Four TV Show I watch:

1. Army Wives
2. Big Brother
3. Bones
4. Top Chef

Four Places I've been:

1. Bogotá, Colombia
2. Alaska (several cities on a cruise)
3. Gulf Shores, Alabama
4. Monterrey, Mexico

Four People Who Email Me Regularly: (Do facebook messages count? Cause otherwise I don't really have four people that email me regularly.):

1. Mom
2. Yahoo Groups
3. Freecycle
4. Thread Notifications from a couple forums

Four of My Favorite Foods:

1. Crab
2. Watermelon Snocones
3. Jerky
4. Cheese Enchiladas

Four Places I'd Like to Visit

1. Italy
2. Africa
3. Australia
4. Spain

Four Things I'm Looking Forward to This Year:

1. Living my life because I really do love it lately!
2. Watching Leah & Sam grow
3. Camping
4. Breaking Dawn book and the Twilight movie

Four People I Tag:

1. Kathy
2. Pep
3. Becky
4. Christine

Guess what we did today...

Introducing Sam...

Enjoying Dinner

This is Leah really REALLY enjoying dinner. :)

One of her favorite foods...


Would you like a bigger bite?


Say "Cheese!"

Connected

Here's something not many people know about me...

You know when you're driving & you see behind you an ambulance is coming, you pull over to let them by?

This makes me cry. Everytime.

Everytime it happens it is a remdinder to me that we're all connected. I don't know where the ambulance is going. I don't know what the emergency is but I pull over. I take time out of my day - it's never very long, of course.

But somewhere, someone I don't know (most likely) is having an emergency & it effects a lot of people as that ambulance speeds to their aid.

Not a big deal but it makes me teary every time.

Adoption Appointment

The appointment went well! Not much else to be expected, I suppose.

Robert (NOT Brian! lol) is very nice. He was fun to talk to. He asked us questions about ourselves, our life, etc. We talked about our previous adoption experiences.

I certainly didn't learn anything I didn't already know. lol

Oh! Except that LDSFS apparently has you now do most of your paperwork online. I have to wait for him to email me a username & password to the site where it is. That's pretty cool, huh?

So, I guess that's it really. Not so exciting but at least we are on the way!

***

The emotional aspect has been interesting though. I keep waiting for this wave of emotions to hit me - to feel overwhelmed by what's coming, etc. But I don't at all. I feel very calm & focused.

Bizarre!

Adoption #2 - First Appointment

The caseworker called today. We have our first interview on the 22nd at Noon!

Oh - and his name is apparently Robert. Seriously. He says "Hi! This Robert from LDSFS." Ummmm...

It was the same voice. He remembered our conversation. Commented on it.

Why did I think his name was Brian?

I'm crazy!

My Mug

I was drinking ice water from this mug today & thinking about all the memories I have of it. Isn't that an odd thing to be attached to?

So I started thinking about when I got it. I was 18! I had just gone off to college. You could take that mug to the local maverick gas station & fill it with pop for 25 cents! (in 1994)

So I've had that mug a long time? It's lived a lot of places with me.

... I just counted. 18 places. That mug has made a LOT of moves! LOL

Do you have anything that random - anything old & random?