Extraordinary Stromal Decidualization

Now that’s a blog post title if I’ve ever seen one! Try not to be jealous that you’ve never been quite so clever, k?
 
Ha. I’m funny.

So – that’s what I have. Not cancer (yay!) Well really extraordinary is not part of the title. That’s just what the nurse said to me when she called. I thought it was part of the title but apparently it was just a description of how badly I have Stromal Decidualization.

This isn’t so common that there is a layman term for it. It’s in fact apparently quite uncommon. Lucky me. It’s a wonder I don’t win the lottery. Maybe if I start buying tickets…

Anyway, I’m trying to come up with my own name for it. Let me know if you have any brilliant ideas.

Also, because it’s not particularly common, there isn’t a lot of easy reading to do about it when you Google it. In fact, there isn’t much of anything. And what is there is all thick medical text. The only thing the nurse said that stayed with me was “we only ever see this in people who have multiple miscarriages”. Right. Well… that would be me.

So I’ll summarize what I learned from the various medical articles I read and share some links – just in case some other woman stumbles across this blog googling for things about stromal decidualization! Don’t feel as if you have to go read all this rather boring material!

First – in case you don’t know me well or haven’t been reading my (rather inactive these days) blog for very long. I have had many, many miscarriages. I’ve never known why. I’ve just always known that I can get pregnant fairly easily but I cannot stay pregnant. I literally lost count how many miscarriages. I know that sounds morbid but at some point it was easier not to count, not to take a test, to just know I’d had one and move on.

Part 1:

Decidua is the term for the uterine lining (endometrium) during a pregnancy, which forms the maternal part of the placenta. It is formed under the influence of progesterone and forms highly-characteristic cells.

After ovulation, in mammals, the endometrial lining becomes transformed into a secretory lining in preparation of accepting the embryo. Without implantation, the secretory lining will be absorbed (estrous cycle) or shed (menstrual cycle).

With implantation the lining now termed decidua evolves further during the pregnancy.
Got all that? Once you’re pregnant the decidua thing starts (that’s the root of my issue – and the root of the word. ha! I’m funny. Really. I am. You’re supposed to be laughing now…)

Part 2:

FYI: Stroma (animal tissue), the connective, functionally supportive framework of a biological cell, tissue, or organ

The decidua has a histologically-distinct appearance, displaying large polygonal decidual cells in the stroma. These are enlarged endometrial stromal cells.

Formation of a specialized decidua is called decidualization, which is a special property of endometrium seen only in placentation.

Placentation refers to the formation, type and structure, or arrangement of placentas.

Are you following me here? Sorry. I know this is thick.

So my uterus (heretofore referred to as: Hazardous Waste or HW for short) is full of placenta cells. 14 years worth of miscarriages and build up from them.

One of the ironies of this situation? My body doesn’t do anything right and I’ve been known to say many times – at least it knows how to miscarry and I don’t have to have D&Cs. HA. Apparently I was mistaken.

So that’s the beginning of that. I get pregnant. My body starts making placenta. I miscarry but it doesn’t get rid of the placental cells.

Now…

http://molehr.oxfordjournals.org/content/16/12/886.full – there is also this related article that my friend Renee found when she was googling with me.

This one. I don’t know. It threw me for a loop. I honestly felt like I would ask Heavenly Father when I died… “So what was up with all the miscarriages, eh?” And that’s exactly when I expected to find out.

But alas – this article tells me why.

Super Fertility. For real? I also often say when talking about my infertility: I’m the most fertile infertile woman ever. It’s ridiculous how easily I get pregnant. RIDICULOUS.

The article says: In our clinical experience, however, many women with RPL, especially those who have experienced many consecutive losses, report exceptionally high pregnancy rates.

No kidding. Huh. Oh RPL = Recurrent Pregnancy Loss

Also from the article:

Superfertility in humans is currently only an anecdotal concept without obvious clinical connotations. Even in a broader biological context, superfertility is a rare phenomenon, ascribed only to certain breeds of sheep.

Seriously? This might be morbid but that made me laugh hard. OF COURSE whatever perfectly describes me would be something only proven in certain breeds of sheep. OF COURSE. Baa Baa. That’s me.

If you want to read the article, feel free. It’s long and thick but you’ll see the discussion about it’s relationship to decidualization.

Clearly, it’s nothing I can totally confirm but it so perfectly matches all the things that have happened to me and then the end result that I have – it seems fairly obvious.

So what’s the solution? When the nurse called me she said at minimum I needed a D&C to clean everything out. I told her – I don’t want that. NO NO NO. Please just take it out.

She said that I would have to discuss that with the doctor but she seriously doubted he would be opposed.

So today I was supposed to have an appointment to discuss it but between him being a baby doctor and being late for everything (babies never come when they are told!) and Drew’s work schedule – blah blah blah. It just wasn’t going to happen today. (I have to drive 100 miles to the appointment). So I asked could I discuss it with him on the phone. His nurse called me again later (same woman) and she said – are you really sure you want a hysterectomy? Yes. I’m sure. Very sure.

(Please. I have two children. And neither one of them involved my stupid malfunctioning uterus)

She said okay then. Let’s have you come in on July 11th and change it to a preop appointment.

Okie Dokie! I’m on board for that.

I’m excited to have it over. I’m  nervous as all heck for the actual doing of the thing. For the weeks after when I’m not supposed to lift over 20 lbs (Hannah weighs 22 lbs). That kind of thing. Spending the night in the hospital away from Hannah. I haven’t spent a night away from her yet. I know she’s 15  months old and she’ll be okay in the long run but I wish I wasn’t doing that to her yet.

Oh and we’re in the middle of moving. I guess that’s one way to get out of lifting heavy boxes…

Let me begin this by assuring you this post is not about garnering sympathy. I'm just myself kind of coming to terms with... something. I'm not sure what.

(Sorry that it's so long and so rambling. I had to get it out!)

So I have these medical issues. I may only be 35 but my body just has no idea.

Let's see... there are the female plumbing issues: infertility, probable endomeriosis (you can't diagnosis that without surgery), sometime I get ovarian chats too - which is pcos stuff. I have lots of those symptoms.

My periods are hideous. I can't move around too much for a few days. Pain pills that I swear take all my IQ points while I'm on them. I won't go into great detail about this one, eh? Lol.

This also is often accompanied by migraines.

I have IBS. It effects everything I eat, every meal, every day. I've blogged about the diet restrictions on here before. One of the toughest aspects of this is the emotional. For instance, let's say I have a fight with Drew. If I get really tense and upset, I will have an attack. The severity generally matches the fight but not always. Last time I had an attack that lasted 5 days. Which means I'm in pain and not functioning well and just eating rice or baked potatoes while my insides calm down. Or I'll just have one at random. I had one last week where my insides - from the top of my throat and all the way down - cramped up and stayed cramped for 13 hours. Drew was at work and I was literally crawling around the house at times to take care of the girls. It was hideous. He got home about the 8th hour and I collapsed in bed and finally fell asleep. Ugh. The next day I was just sore. Like I'd done a lot of abominal exercises.

Anyway... then there is the diabetes. Again with the food limiting. Checking my blood sugar. I hate doing that. Blah blah.

Acid reflux. I take a pill for that everyday. That keeps that at bay. But if I don't I'll actually cough up acid in my sleep. Sometimes get it in my lungs and wake up with a fever. So ya. Take the pill.

Restless legs: not a big deal but really annoying at the end of the night. I have a homeopathy treatment for that. It works great.

So what is my problem? I don't know. I sound like a freaking hypochondriac (is that how you spell that? )

Oh wait! The other extra food thing... corn. In all its forms... I have some kind of "allergy". It is mood altering for me. Which is a nice way of saying it makes me really, really grouchy/aggressive. So dramatically that Drew will physically hold me back from eating a corn chip. Poor guy. Hehe. And corn makes me exhausted. Corn, corn syrup, corn meal, corn flour... corn is in EVERYTHING.

I don't want to be defined by these things about my body. Lately it seems like I can't catch a break from any of this. I just want to live my life, be a mommy who doesn't have to say, "Sorry baby. Mommy is sick again today."

It's not who I am! It can't be. Its driving me crazy. How do I balance having all these medical issues with living life? How do I take care of them without it being the central thing going on with me?

I am sick of being sick. All of this seems to effect my immune system. I get everything that passes anywhere near me.

I'm also taking prozac for depression. Duh, right? I take a multivitamin (and finding one I could take was not easy! Chewable vegan childrens...), vitamin d, liquid vitamin b complex, glyburide for blood sugar, prilosec. I think that's it. Oh and cinnergen. It's a cinnamon supplement that makes me need less glyburide.

I hate that pile of pills. I had to get a dang pill organizer. Like I'm 75.

I do feel like this is becoming the center of my life. I want it yo be a backburner thing. All of it.

How do I do that?

Blogger App

I'm just testing out this blogger app while I rock Hannah to sleep.

Hello people. :)

And a picture for your viewing pleasure ...

Introducing Chloe...

The story of Chloe...

A month or so ago I sent Drew to the animal shelter with some canned cat food we'd bought for Benny & Joon. They wouldn't eat it. While he was there he saw this beautiful white cat. He convinced me the next week to at least go by there and see her. So we went by and she was sitting in the window. Maybe one of the most beautiful cats I have ever seen. Absolutely snow white, green eyes... just gorgeous. But they were not open. They were supposed to be but no one was there. So on Wednesday (which is nearly two weeks later) we decide on a whim to go by there again.

Again the shelter should have been open but was not. This time though there were people in there, they just hadn't opened the doors. So we waited a few minutes in the car (there were quite a few people waiting) and decided to leave because we needed to get Leah from school. As we are driving away the car next to us holds up a kitten. Drew slams on the brakes and rolls down his window. They were there waiting to relinquish two kittens they couldn't find homes for.

There was one boy and one girl. The boy was orange and looked just like Benny (without the any white markings) and then there was Chloe. I took her from him and that was that. We left with a kitten.

That's the story of Chloe!

Cupcakes

Really? Could she be any more adorable??

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Joon and Leah

This cat seems to feel it is her responsibility to guard over Leah all night long. It's strange cat behavior. It makes me love it all the more!

Cream Puff? Anyone?

A little history… The other day we got cream puffs from the store. A strawberry, a plain, and a chocolate. Last night I threw away what was left of the chocolate one in the garbage outside my room, in the hallway…

I don’t think the rest needs words…

OH ya… I LOVE that cleaner. I keep it around for everything..

I'm Adorable.

First, look how I haven't blogged since December! Sad.

Second, I had this conversation with Leah. It's really stuck with me.

We're in the bathroom getting ready for something and I say to her (as I ask all the time)...

Me: Leah, do you know you're adorable?

Leah: Yes.

Me: HOW do you know?

Leah: (all patient with me in her tone) because I can see myself in the mirror.

At the time I just kissed her on the head but.... wow.

Oh that we all felt that way when we looked in the mirror!

You're obnoxious.

Me: Stop being obnoxious.

Leah (laughing): What does obnoxious even mean?

I proceed to give her an explanation. She says "but what does it mean?" I give her another... "but what does it MEAN?"

We do this about 10 times. I want to bop her on the head.

Me: You're being obnoxious right now by asking me over and over what obnoxious means!

Leah: oohhhh okay!

and she runs from the room.

Sheesh!

I’m alarmed.

This lovely chart is about the Wheel of Time books. I was just looking up the release date for the final book and I see the total for audio there (which I’ve highlighted). I’ve listened to all these books on audio.**

But when I saw that total… I was alarmed. I have actually spent 17.5 DAYS listening to that??

I certainly don’t regret it. And when the next one comes out and is another 30 something hours long? I will listen again!

btw: I actually tried to read one. But I missed the voices too much. They’re like living people in my head…

**Side note: I LOVE audible.com. Totally worth it.