Well, my daughter is not here right now.
Last night when we were getting ready to leave my mom's house Leah didn't want to leave. This happens frequently & I always tell Leah she can stay if she wants to but I'm going home. (in a nice way - I don't do this meanly!) However, she always eventually chooses to come home with me.
But yesterday... she did not.
It was painful to watch her make the choice - and not because I wanted her to come home with me - but because the choice was HARD for her to make. She wanted so badly to stay & she didn't really want to do without me. We calmly talked about it. I didn't sugar coat it to trick her into staying. I explained that meant she would sleep with Nana & Papa tonight, Mommy & Daddy would go home, & when she woke in the morning Nana would make her breakfast, we would come back later, etc. I laid it all out for her.
And I watched her face as she made the decision. She would think about it and lay on me for a second. Then she'd sit up. Then lay on me & hug me & say "mommy" under her breath. Everyone kept talking to her and she just kept hugging me.
Then all of the sudden she moves over to Nana's lap with no prompting and for a minute she still had a hand on me. And then she let go & curled into my mom. And then after another minute or so it was clear she had decided. This was safe, Nana would be there, and she was staying. We said bye, she kissed me.
I walked to the van, we drove slowly away waiting to see if she'd change her mind. Then when we got to where there was a cell signal (my parents live in the middle of nowhere) we called & she was still fine.
Leah is 2 years, 9 months, & 2 days old.
I cried when we got home & we went to bed.
I miss her. Nothing feels right without her here.
I am proud of her! I am proud of me. SHE made this choice & I did not hinder her. She did it because she was ready. She feels safe.
I love her so much. This morning it feels almost painful.
And it's 6:46. I couldn't go back to sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about her!
I'm getting Drew up in 15 minutes... ;)
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8 comments:
Oh man Cam you must have been going nuts! Are you at your mom's already?
Good job to both of you.
Oh, Camille! It's a big step, and every mother can relate.
But how awesome that she feels so comfortable with your parents, that she decided to stay!
Tyce did that a few months ago and it was very hard. We had actually planned it because the next day was our big moving/cleaning day but the fact that Tyce was totally okay with it was very sad for us. Even today, he wanted to go with Grandma to his cousins football game instead of running errands with us (who wouldn't right?). But just for those 2 hours...I missed him a lot. It was nice to have a lunch date with my hubby but I missed my baby.
awww...that little girl is adorable.
oh. i remember those times. it's just wrong when they are out there in the world and surviving without you.
the good thing is: you are still number one. :D
Oh the lengthening of that old kite string can be so hard!!!! The experts always point that the ability to do that is a healthy thing blah blah blah...but it sure doesnt make it easier!!!
I'm proud of you both too!!
cxnysCamille, it was hard for me to let the boys go stay at a friend's house for the first time, just down the street (four houses away), Chandler and Owen are 9 and 6 years old. :) And then all 3 of them to go stay with their dad for the first time. I was in my house all alone it was really hard, I cried too. I'm glad you are ok, both of you. It gets easier with time.
I can't believe she is getting to be such a big girl, Cam!
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