Paper Bag Puppets

From Oct 15th - this has been sitting in my drafts file.

Paper Bag Puppet Ideas

Halloween Set (pdf) - this is the ones we did. Leah thought this was great fun. I cut them out but she did the painting/coloring and 90% of the gluing.

Good times :)

She really thought these were the best thing EVER.

The Thankful Jar

I got this idea from Connie's blog - who got it from someone else's blog - who got it... you get the idea. It appears to have originally come from sugardoodle.net - Thankful Jar

Here you can see a pic of someone's jar and papers. I did the same thing to the papers but not the jar decoration. We did glue a picture on the front of the jar. I suppose I could take a picture - and I probably will - but since my laptop is off in some Dell service place - I'm using Drew's little mini laptop and... well... some things are just too much work!

Leah loves any cutting and gluing so she loved the process of course but this morning when we got up this first thing she said was "Let's go do the thankful jar!" So we started the morning by pulling out a card - it said I am thankful for sisters - which I had written Aunts under because she has no sister, of course! So she decided we should color pictures for the Aunt she selected. I printed out some Thanksgiving coloring pages and we colored and now they are in the mailbox. She also loves that process - stamps, envelopes, putting in the mailbox.

The thankful jar is fun! Thanks for the idea Connie!

I'm off to do some Wii Fit Yoga now. Woohoo! lol

Clingy Part 2

She's still clingy. Just in case you were wondering....

No really. That's not what I was going to talk about. lol

Last night Drew & I talked about it and I was really upset (she was sleeping). Upset about how to handle it, upset about what's going on in her head, upset about how he hasn't been home for a whole day in forever and that's taking a toll on Leah and I. Just Bleh.

But Drew is a good sounding board and as we talked about Leah and how she's feeling and I was crying and he was soothing me and asking why I was so upset and pointing out I wasn't even breathing right.

And as I'm babbling, something comes to the surface... I can't fix it.

Oh. My. Gosh.

So then for a minute I sob into his chest.

"I can't fix it. I'm the mommy, I'm supposed to fix it. I can't fix it."

Her little heart has realized that some things in the world are not safe. She has to have this realization but it's a realization that can never be taken back. Once you know, you can't "un"know it right? It makes me ultra sad.

I can only comfort but I cannot take it away or fix it. It's done.

So there's the gist of my angst. Sometimes it takes awhile for me to work my way around to what's upsetting me about something - but there it is.

She's just hit upon something I can't make better.

Ouch.

Well, that and the constant clingy-ness. lol But that's easier to deal with when I've recognized my own angst in the situation.

Whew.

Clingy. Ultra Clingy.

So Leah has been clingy. Well, let me be clear - clingy doesn't quite describe how it has been.

For example, Thursday morning I was making her requested breakfast (grits, fried eggs, and toast - her favorite breakfast these days) and as I'm standing at the stove cooking - where is she? Sitting at my feet. And every little bit leaning over and kissing my calf. Seriously.

This is very sweet but that's the deal with this stage of clingy for her - it's all in sweetness. If she was being a brat it would be easier to deal with but she is just glued to me with love. And if I were to get too upset with her constant attention her little heart would be broken. If she even starts to sniff out that I'm getting frustrated her feelings are hurt.

So the gist of this is: I'm drained. It's been two weeks of this. She's waking up crying at night and coming to me. She normally gets in my bed at some point in the night - which I don't mind at all - but going back to waking up to all this wailing is not my favorite thing. She won't leave the room I'm in. She won't go to the family room and watch cartoons while I'm in another room doing something else. In fact, she's hardly watched any cartoons in the last couple weeks. She keeps requesting that we watching cooking shows together. I did have her cousin come spend the night Friday night. Blessed break. They played in the family room downstairs and I spent some blissful alone time in the living room.

Several people I've talked to about it have asked me if I knew what brought this on - because normally there is something of course. But alas. I have no idea.

Until today - today I have gotten some clues.

All the sudden today she starts telling me about a dream she had where she was with Daddy and these people came and they hit daddy with a stick and daddy was laying in the street and she was so scared. I told her that was terrible and scary and I was sorry she had that dream. And she told me she'd had the dream several times. eek.

Then she told me that today she didn't want to go in her room because it was scary. WHAT? I thought. She loves her room! She said she's scared of the hole. Hole?? The hole behind her door.

Well. okay. Once I opened her bedroom door and the doorknob made a hole in the wall. Most of the sheet rock is even still attached. It's not even a whole hole.

But. I remember I was watching something - Criminal Minds - that was it. Anyway. I had tried to watch this show in like 6 sittings because I didn't want to watch it with her around - so I was seeing it in 5-10 minute bursts. It was driving me crazy. Finally I wake up way earlier than her one morning, come downstairs and turn it on. And as I'm watching them knock open a wall to find a skeleton, Leah came in the room. Lovely. (You see where this is going?) I hurriedly hit pause and turned off the TV. Off with our day. No big deal at the moment.

But now? Leah is afraid a skeleton is going to come out of the little hole in her wall behind her door.

She's having dreams about things happening to her parents.

Generally speaking, I think she's hit an awareness that somethings in the world are scary and sad and uncomfortable. And she's clinging to me while she adjusts to that.

Hopefully having an understanding of it will help me be sane while she works it out and help me to guide her through it.

***

So two nights ago is when she first told me about the "skeleton in the hole" (but not that it was the hole in her room), she said she couldn't sleep because of these thoughts. And I talked to her for a little bit about it and then said she should try saying her prayers again for the night and ask Heavenly Father to help her think of different things and when she was done to choose a song to sing in her head to help push the thoughts away. She said "that's a good idea, mommy!" and trotted off to bed again.

The next morning I asked her how it went and she said "I prayed two times and sang a song and then it worked and I fell asleep!"

Heartwarming little girl! Love her!

***

PS During typing this I have had probably 20 conversations with her (leaning against me the entire time) and she is just now off to go take her nap. A few moments peace... here I come. Whew.

ETA: I put tape over the hole in her room so "nothing will come out of it". I will be ordering one of those things that attaches to the wall to go behind a doorknob.

Spiced Hot Cocoa

It's been snowing all day & it's so cold & suddenly nothing sounded better to me than hot cocoa but a quick search of the cupboards and pantry in the garage lead to the discovery I had no hot cocoa packets or mix. Sad but as happens to me frequently I decided to just find something to make. Oh the deliciousness...

Spiced Hot Cocoa

4 cups milk
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup cocoa powder
dash salt
3/4 tsp vanilla
1/8 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp nutmeg

I put this into this:


You can cook this on the stove I'm sure. Don't let the milk boil and don't had the vanilla until the end. That machine is not expensive and well worth the purchase. Promise. I do steam milk in it - adding the traditional syrups or even liquid creamers. My current fav is creme brulee flavored creamer. Warm, quick, yummy treat in this cold snowy place! Some milk, a splash of creamer (to taste - I don't like it too sweet) - a few minutes and there you have it.

I topped this cocoa with whipped cream from a can. Of course. YUM.

I'm less cold now.

PS If you click on the above image it will take you to a google shopping list for places to buy that machine :)

NaNoBloMo or No?

I've been trying to decide if I'm going to do that again this year. It was mostly fun last year but...

I really haven't been blogging much.

I need to get over that. Someone I care about said something unkind to my husband about my blog. Judgmental. And I was really hurt. And that has amounted to posts sitting in drafts and never getting posted because it's made me feel so.... uncomfortable I guess? I can't think of the right word. Vulnerable, maybe?

Which is ridiculous mostly - because I'm putting my thoughts and life out into the open internet. Of course people are reading it and of course there are people in the world who don't like me. (shocking I know. haha.) I guess I just wish it hadn't been someone I know so well. It's a lot easier to dismiss the things unknown people on the internet have to say.

And then there's the fact that this person will read this post. Or that this person made it seem like there was a conversation with multiple people that took place about my blog and it didn't sound nice. I don't know if that part is true or not but man...

Now what am I supposed to do??? Maybe you guys could tell me?

Maybe I should password protect my blog but that always seemed kind of pointless to me unless the blog was just for a certain group of people of course.

Btw - what was said about the purpose of my blog wasn't remotely true. I don't have a blog just to ask for things. I mean seriously. Ugh. I suppose I think the people who care about me think better of me than that. Apparently not.

Soylent Green

If you haven't seen the move Soylent Green (1973):

The film, which is loosely based upon the 1966 science fiction novel Make Room! Make Room!, by Harry Harrison, won the Nebula Award for Best Dramatic Presentation and the Saturn Award for Best Science Fiction Film in 1973.

If there is any chance you're going to watch it - don't go looking for summaries - the end has got to be a surprise.

If you have seen it...

Is this not the most. hysterical. shirt. EVER?



I say yes.

Cleaning for a Reason

http://www.cleaningforareason.org/ - Cleaning for a Reason

How completely cool is this site?!?

It's a simply wonderful, simple, amazing idea. They are a organization that has professional maid services join and then women with cancer can receive free house cleanings from services in their area.

It's such a simple idea but I can't imagine being literally unable to clean my house and having to just watch the mess accumulate because I was too sick to do it.

Anyway - very cool! Go check it out and if you use a service in your area - switching to one that supports this cause is a great way to show support.

I hope to never need it of course but I'm so grateful to know they exist!

Adoption Costs

Often agencies - in searching for adoptive parents that match a situation - communicate with each other. So when our agency gets those they forward them in emails. But last night's email made me feel frustrated. Perhaps because it just came to me on a day when I didn't want to see it but whatever.

It's a situation where the agency is looking for parents - actually they used the word "desperately" - they are desperately looking - for parents for a situation with an african american baby boy who is about 6 weeks old.

*waves hand in the air* me! me! me!

But wait - what?

They want 26,000. Really? $26,000. No, sorry. I don't think I can swing that. *rolls eyes*

I could rant for awhile about the money involved in adoption and how frustrating it is but instead....

*insert passionate rant here*

There. Whew.

And the other side of the coin? If I had it - I'd hand it to them and run to Florida (where he is) and get him. In a heart beat. Is that hypocritical of me?

But instead I will hope that someone has or is on there way. He shouldn't be just waiting for parents! I don't have it and believe me if I could scheme a fast way to come up with it I would.

Sigh.

Football, Football

If you've ever known me at all, you'll know. I don't like sports. I don't want sports in my life. I don't watch them. No reason really. I just think it's boring.

But now? I like football.

My friend Camela - we watched a game at the same time and IMed about it. And she explained it so fantastically and... and... I don't know. It just clicked.

And now one thing lead to another, I'm DVRing all kinds of games and watching Monday night football and I have a fantasy football team. It's crazy.

When I told my sister she said (and I quote): Are you punking me?

That about sums up what a turn around this is for me.

And my husband? Is that happiest husband ever. His wife wants to sit and watch football with him and loves it. He is forever grateful to Camela. I told him he should buy her a present. lol

I get way more excited when I have players from my team involved. If I don't have any emotional investment I'm not as excited. (well, I'm still ME after all!) Tonight's game (packers vs vikings) was very exciting for me because my TE, Kicker, & Defense are all Vikings. Woohoo! That was great fun.

So there you have it. My new secret. I love football.

I made pumpkin pie during tonight's game. That will be a coming blog post because I started with a whole pumpkin and ended with a pie. See? Still me. Now it's just cooking AND football. Although I won't be doing something so involved again during a game I'm feeling invested in. That was a pain. Too many distractions. But this pie... YUM.